Is your boyfriend always working and you feel lonely?
You’re not alone, a lot of men take their work seriously and fall foul of a healthy work-life balance.
There are two ways you need to tackle this; you need to help him see his work is damaging your relationship, and also find ways to better use your time.
In this article, I’m going to explain how you can do both of these things!
5 Ways How To Not Feel as Lonely when Your Boyfriend Is Working
1. Make the Most of The Time You Do Have Together
Even if it’s just a brief conversation in the morning or an hour before bed, try to make the most of the time you do have together.
Ask him about his day, what he’s working on, and show an interest in what he’s doing.
This way, you’ll get a better understanding of what he’s doing, but you’ll also feel better connected and not quite as lonely when you’re apart.
The worst thing you can do is begrudge him for working so much and be in a mood about it.
That’s valuable time wasted. You can address how much he’s working, but for now, you have to accept your situation for what it is and make the most of it.
Related – Does your boyfriend sleep all day and work all night? Help here!
2. Fill Your Time with Hobbies and Fun Stuff
The more you wait around for your boyfriend to stop working and spend time with you, the more anxious you’ll get and lonely you’ll feel.
That’s why it’s important to try and fill your time with things you love doing.
Do you have any hobbies? Now is the perfect time to invest some energy into them.
If not, take up a new hobby, read more books, and get out of the house more often and spend time in nature.
I know it’s frustrating and you’d rather be spending time with your boyfriend, but as that’s not happening right now you shouldn’t put your life on hold.
3. Lean on Your Support Network
When you’re feeling lonely, it’s important to lean on the support network that you have around you.
Whether it’s your friends, family, or even your co-workers, if you have people in your life who care about you, talk to them about your situation.
I’m not suggesting that they’ll be able to give you actionable advice to change the fact that your boyfriend works a lot and you’re lonely, but trust me when I say talking about it will help!
4. Keep a Positive Mindset
This is often easier said than done, but it’s so important to try and keep a positive mindset.
I know it feels like your boyfriend is putting work before you and you’re neglected right now, but if you can maintain a positive outlook things will eventually get better.
Being positive helps to make things better because your subconscious mind kicks in and makes it more of a familiar reality.
On the flip side, if you’re negative and always telling yourself he’s always busy, you’re lonely, no one cares about you, etc. that will become your reality.
5. Challenge Yourself and Develop New Skills
Challenging and pushing yourself is a great way to make use of your time, feel more fulfilled, and less lonely.
While your boyfriend is working hard and you’re at home by yourself, why not challenge yourself and develop some new skills?
You could learn how to cook something new, start a blog, or even take an online course.
You’ll end up meeting new people, getting involved in communities, and most importantly, you’ll not be waiting or relying on your boyfriend – maybe he’ll end up asking you when you’re free!
5 Ways to Help Your Boyfriend See how His Work Is Affecting Your Relationship
1. Start by Understanding His Motivation and Reasons to Work so Much
Occupying yourself and dealing with your loneliness is only one part of the problem – the other is helping your boyfriend see that he’s working too much and neglecting your relationship.
Before you blame or start accusing him of anything, the best thing you can do is step into his shoes and try to understand why he’s working so much.
It’s possible that it’s a temporary thing, or even that he feels trapped and isn’t happy with his working situation.
If that’s the case, the last thing he wants is you to have a go at him and make him feel like he’s deliberately neglecting you.
Whatever his reason and mindset are, as long as you understand his point of view you’ll have a much better chance of making him see things from your side.
2. Explain to Him how It’s Making You Feel and Affecting Your Relationship
Now that you understand why he’s working so much, it’s time to talk to him about how it’s making you feel.
Remember to stay calm and avoid sounding like you’re attacking or blaming him, and let him know that you understand why he works so much.
The goal is to make him realize that his work is having a negative effect on your relationship without coming across as nagging or needy.
If you can achieve that – and I’m sure you can – then it’s either going to appeal to his sensitive side and make him wake up and realize that he’s risking losing you, or he’s just not ready or willing to face up to that.
If he’s not willing to face the fact that his work is getting in the way of your happiness together, he’s going to have to realize it the hard way at some point.
3. Don’t Blame Him or Try to Make Him Feel Bad
Even though it’s his work that’s causing the problem, it’s important not to make him feel bad about it.
Of course, you’re allowed to be angry and upset, but remember that he’s probably doing what he thinks is best for both of you.
The nature of pursuing a career often means that we have to work hard early on to get qualified, promoted, and gain valuable experience.
It’s supposed to ease up later on down the line – although that’s not always the case!
If you try to make him feel guilty or force him to choose between work and your relationship, he may feel resentment towards you and go with his head and not his heart.
4. Ask Him if He Can Make Some Changes Going Forward
If you’ve talked to him about how you feel and he’s receptive to your concerns, it’s time to ask him if he can make some changes going forward.
Be specific in what you’re asking for – rather than saying “I want you to spend more time with me,” try “Can we have one or two nights a week where you come home at five so we can eat out?”
He’s more likely to be able to commit to something like that and it will give you both some quality time together.
If he can’t or won’t make any changes, then you need to decide if you’re happy continuing the relationship as it is or not.
5. Accept that You Might Not Be Able to Make Him Change
Ultimately, you can’t make your boyfriend change if he doesn’t want to. It’s important that you prepare yourself to accept that and not blame yourself for it.
The most you can do is talk to him openly about your concerns and hope that he listens.
If he doesn’t then you might have to come to the realization that his work will always come first with him, and decide if that’s something you’re willing to come second to.
Image credits – Photo by Jozsef Hocza on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.