If your boyfriend works nights and sleeps all day it’s normal to feel lonely and neglected.
Unfortunately, you can’t always get him to change his shifts – and he needs to sleep during the day to recover from work.
What you can do, however, is make the most of the time you do have together and make the best of your situation.
Here are 10 tips to maximize your time together so you’ll stop feeling so lonely!
10 Tips if Your Boyfriend Works Nights and Sleeps All Day
1. Make Sure Your Waking Schedules Overlap
If you have a small window of time where you’re able to see your boyfriend in between working and sleeping, make sure you’re available!
Even if it means staying up a little later or getting up a bit earlier, it’ll be worth it to get some quality time in.
If you (and your boyfriend) fall into the routine of not seeing each other, and in particular not making an effort, that’s when your relationship is really going to be strained.
Related – 11 more tips for coping while your partner works nights!
2. Be Really Present when You’re Together
When you are able to spend time with your boyfriend, make sure you’re present and in the moment.
Be engaged in what he’s saying. Put your phone away, and politely ask him to do the same, and enjoy each other’s company.
You can easily turn a few hours of quality time into something much more special than people who don’t have the same issue of conflicting shift patterns.
3. Help Him to Get Good Quality Sleep
Part of the reason your boyfriend is sleeping during the day is to recover from working all night.
While you can’t necessarily control his sleep patterns, you can help him to get good quality sleep.
Make sure his bedroom is dark and quiet, and that he has a comfortable place to rest.
Avoid talking to him too much or making too much noise, it can be difficult to sleep during the day.
But the better rested he is, the better mood he’s going to be in and the more fun you’ll have when you are together!
4. Don’t Resent the Fact that He Works Nights
It’s easy to resent your boyfriend for working nights and sleeping all day, but try not to.
Remember, it’s not his fault, and he can’t help it.
If you start to blame him because you feel lonely, it’ll only make things worse between the two of you.
Instead, try to be understanding and supportive. He’s probably just as frustrated with the situation as you are!
5. Make Sure You Talk to Each Other (and Listen)
One of the most important things in any relationship is communication.
Since you can’t always be together in person, it’s even more important that you talk to each other when you can.
Make sure you’re both sharing how you’re feeling, what’s going on in your life, and really listening to each other.
This way, even when you’re apart, you’ll feel connected.
6. Talk to Your Friends and Family if You’re Lonely
If you’re feeling lonely because your boyfriend works nights and sleeps all day, it’s important to talk to someone about it.
Your friends and family can be a great support system, and they’ll be able to offer advice or just listen to how you’re feeling.
It’s important not to bottle up your emotions, or it’ll only end up overflowing and you’ll feel way worse.
Sure, they can’t offer much practical advice and your boyfriend is still going to work nights, but it’s amazing what simply talking about a problem can do for your mental health.
7. Adopt a Healthy Mindset and Be Positive
One of the best things you can do for yourself (and your relationship) is to adopt a healthy mindset and be positive.
It’s easy to dwell on the negative aspects of your situation, but if you start to focus on the positive, it’ll make all the difference.
Think about all the good things in your life, including the pros of your boyfriend working nights, and you’ll feel a lot better about it, I promise.
Related – More on the effects of night shifts on a relationship and how to beat the loneliness.
8. Don’t Smother Him when He Is Awake
When your boyfriend is awake, you also have to be mindful about giving him the space he needs.
Don’t smother him or try to force him to spend time with you when he’s not in the mood.
Keep in mind that he has stuff he needs to do. I’ve worked nights before myself, it can be difficult to get things done when you’re sleeping during the day.
9. Use the Time when He’s Sleeping to Do Cool Stuff
One of the things about your boyfriend working nights and sleeping all day is that you have the opportunity to do some really cool stuff while he’s sleeping!
Assuming there is some time when you’re not working, why not use that time to learn a new skill, read that book you’ve been wanting to start, or meet up with friends.
The worst thing you can do is just hang around the house and wait for your boyfriend to wake up.
If you keep your mind busy, keep active and healthy, challenge yourself, and make the most of the time you do have together, you won’t feel as lonely and that’s the main goal.
10. If You’re Really Struggling, Make Sure You’re Open with Your Boyfriend About It
If you’ve tried all of the things in this article and are still finding it really tough to deal with your boyfriend working nights and sleeping all day, make sure you’re open and honest with him about it.
It’s possible he doesn’t realize how much it’s affecting you and he might be able to make some changes, like taking more shifts during the day or taking a break from work.
It also helps to talk about these things, you’ll feel a lot better for just airing it out with him.
It’s possible that this will also set the wheels in motion for your boyfriend to consider making a change to days in the future, too.
You’ll never know unless you talk to him about it!
Image credits – Photo by Rietveld Ruben on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.