Is your husband’s job ruining your marriage by always being the subject of stress and arguments?
You’re not alone, work stress or when a guy puts his job before his marriage are two of the leading causes of divorce.
It’s hard to talk about with him, too, as he may like his job or feel like you’re giving him an ultimatum.
If your husband is in denial about the damage his job is causing, here are 17 signs that prove your husband’s job is ruining your marriage!
My Husband’s Job Is Ruining Our Marriage – 17 Clear Signs!
1. He’s Always Too Tired for You or Falls Asleep
If your husband is always exhausted from work, it’s tough to get quality time together.
You may feel like you’re living with a roommate rather than a partner.
It can be really frustrating when all you want is to hang out and talk or have some physical affection, and you look over to find he’s fallen asleep.
2. All He Wants to Talk About Is Work
If the only thing your husband wants to talk about is work, it’s a sign that his job is consuming him.
You want to be able to share all aspects of your life with your partner, but if he’s only interested in talking about work, it can feel like you’re not really connected.
It’s important to have common interests outside of work, and if your husband’s job is the only thing he cares about, it’s going to cause problems in your relationship.
3. He Keeps Putting Work Before You
If your husband is always putting work before you, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that it’s a sign he sees his job as being more important to him than you are.
It can be really hurtful when you feel like you’re always last on his list of priorities.
You should be able to rely on your husband for support, but if he’s never there when you need him it’s only natural you’ll drift apart.
4. You’re Always Arguing About His Job In Some Way
If you’re always arguing about things to do with his job, it’s a sign that it’s a major source of stress in your relationship.
It could be that he’s never home, or that he’s always tired and grumpy when he is.
Maybe you don’t like the way he talks to you about his work, or the amount of time he spends working.
Whatever it is, if his job is causing arguments it’s going to come to a head at some point.
5. He’s Not Helping Out Around the Home
If your husband used to help out around the house but now he’s too tired, or he’s always working, it can be really frustrating.
It can start to feel like you’re doing everything yourself – because you are – and it’s not fair.
You should be able to rely on your husband to help out, it takes equal effort for both of you to keep a household ticking over.
6. He Never Even Asks how You’re Doing
If your husband never asks how you’re doing, it’s a sign that he either doesn’t care or his head just isn’t in the right place.
You probably feel like you’re invisible and that he’s not interested in anything you have to say.
It can be really hurtful when you feel like your own husband doesn’t care about you.
All relationships need communication and we all want to feel loved. If you’re not getting it from your husband it’s only going to lead to problems.
7. He Talks About His Coworkers Like They’re Family
If your husband talks about his coworkers more than he talks about you and his other family members, it’s a sign that his work-life balance is out of tilt.
It’s important to have hobbies and friends outside of your relationship, but if your husband is constantly talking about his coworkers it can make you feel like his life outside of work is not important to him.
8. He’s Been Missing Important Dates
If your husband is missing important dates, it’s a sign that work is starting to take over his life.
It’s natural for work to consume us at times, but if your husband is missing things like your anniversary or your kids’ birthdays, it’s a problem.
Nothing should be so important that he keeps missing important dates that mean a lot to you and your family.
9. You Can’t Remember the Last Time You Two Laughed or Had Fun
If you can’t remember the last time you had fun together, it’s one of the more obvious signs that something is wrong.
Sure, we have ups and downs – but your relationship should be a source of joy, not stress.
It’s important to make time for each other and to do things that make you both happy.
If work is preventing your husband from doing that, he clearly needs to get his priorities in order.
10. He’s Been Canceling Your Plans to Work Late
If your husband is constantly canceling your plans to work late, it’s a sign that he’s not prioritizing you or your relationship.
It can be really hurtful when you feel like your own husband would rather work than spend time with you.
It’s important to have quality time together, and if work is preventing that from happening you’re heading towards a make-or-break conversation about it.
11. You Can Tell He’s Preoccupied when You’re Talking
If you feel like your husband is never really listening to you, it’s because he’s preoccupied.
It could be with work, or something else – but whatever it is, it’s taking up all his attention.
It can be really frustrating when you’re trying to talk to your husband and he doesn’t seem interested.
If it is work, this is a serious issue that is no doubt contributing to the problems you’re experiencing in your relationship.
12. You No Longer Know when He’ll Be Home from Work
Working late now and then is one thing, never knowing when or if your husband is coming home is another.
If you don’t know when your husband will be home from work, it’s a sign that his job is starting to take over his life.
It’s important to have quality time together, and if work is preventing that from happening something is going to have to change.
13. He’s Broken Promises About Changing
If your husband has admitted his job is a problem but keeps breaking promises about doing something about it, it’s a sign that he doesn’t really want to change.
It can be really hurtful when you feel like your husband is choosing his job over you and your relationship.
It’s important to have a discussion about what’s more important to him – his job or his family. The excuses have to stop.
14. He’s Always on His Phone or Laptop when You Spend Time Together
If your husband is always on his phone or laptop when you’re together, it’s another sign that he’s not really present.
It can be really frustrating when you feel like you’re competing with work for your husband’s attention.
It’s important to have a discussion about what’s more important to him – closing his laptop or losing you!
15. He Gives You Career Advice and Pushes You
While it’s not necessarily a bad thing that your husband wants you to further your career if he’s always giving you career advice it’s a sign that he’s in work mode all the time.
It can be really frustrating when you feel like your husband is trying to live vicariously through you.
It’s important to set boundaries about how you want to handle your own career and when it’s appropriate to talk about it.
16. He Treats You More Like a Coworker than A Spouse
If your husband is always talking to you about work, it’s a sign that he’s treating you more like a coworker than a spouse.
It can be pretty offensive when you feel like your husband is treating you and your relationship like another work scenario.
You need to make it clear that work stops when he leaves the office, and family time starts when he enters the family home.
17. You’ve Told Him His Job Is Ruining Your Marriage and He Denies It
If you’ve tried to talk to your husband about how his job is affecting your marriage and he denies it, it’s a sign that he doesn’t really understand the gravity of the situation.
It can be devastating when you feel like your husband is choosing his job over you and your relationship and he doesn’t even see it the same as you.
You need to make it clear that his job is causing problems in your relationship, and that he needs to make some changes.
If any of the above points apply to you, you’ll know how it feels and it will just validate what you already know – it’s time for a crisis talk with your husband!
Sources we used to verify the information in this article:
Image credits – Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.