Is your wife’s job ruining your marriage and has been the main cause of arguments in your relationship?
You’re not alone, work stress is one of the main driving forces behind some of the leading causes of divorce.
It’s a tough one to bring up, too, if your wife loves her job.
If your wife is denying her job is to blame or if you’re doubting it yourself, here are 17 signs that your wife’s job is ruining your marriage!
My Wife’s Job Is Ruining Our Marriage – 17 Clear Signs!
1. She’s Always Too Tired to Spend Time With You
If your wife is always too tired to spend time with you, it’s a sign that her job is taking a toll on her both mentally and physically.
She is likely putting in long hours or dealing with difficult co-workers, clients, or tasks, which is causing her to come home feeling exhausted.
If she’s exhausted, she only has so much – if anything – to give to you and the rest of her family. This is always going to take a toll over time.
2. The Only Thing You Seem to Talk About Is Work
When the only thing you ever seem to talk about is work, it’s a sign that your wife’s job is dominating her life.
She may be so focused on her career that she doesn’t have time or energy to focus on anything else – including you and your relationship.
This can lead to feelings of resentment and loneliness, not to mention it’s boring for you to hear about her job all the time!
3. She Puts Work Before You
This is an obvious one, no one should be putting their work before their partner on a consistent basis.
If your wife is putting her job before you, it’s a sign that she values her career more than she values you and your relationship.
One, two, a few times, she may have passable excuses. But those excuses wear thin over time, don’t they?
4. You’re Arguing About Her Working Too Much
If you find yourself arguing about her working too much, it’s a sign that her job is causing tension in your relationship.
It may be that she’s neglecting you or your family in favor of her work, or that she’s bringing her work stress home with her and taking it out on you.
Either way, it’s not healthy and it needs to be addressed.
5. She’s Not Pulling Her Weight Around the Home
Another sign that her job is getting in the way of your marriage is if she’s not pulling her weight around the home.
If you find yourself doing all the housework and childcare while she’s at work, it’s unfair and it’s going to take a toll on you.
This is especially true if you have a demanding job yourself!
6. You Two Just Don’t Have Fun Anymore
Do you remember the last time you two had fun together?
If it feels like you don’t have any fun anymore due to any number of the signs on this list, it’s a strong sign that her job is putting a damper on your relationship.
Whether it’s because she’s too tired, too busy, or just losing interest, you feel it when the fun is missing.
7. She Cancels Personal Events to Work Instead
If your wife is constantly canceling personal events – dates, anniversaries, weekend plans, etc. – to work instead, it’s an obvious sign that her job is getting in the way of your relationship.
She may claim she has to work ‘just this once’ or that ‘it’s important’, but if it happens all the time, it’s not good for your relationship.
If she really can’t see this is happening it’s going to be tough to get through to her, but it will hit home eventually, like when it’s too late.
Related – Here’s how to get signed off from work with stress.
8. She Misses Important Key Dates
Canceling events and routine activities is one thing, missing key dates like your kid’s school events, visiting family, accompanying you to appointments, etc, is another.
This is a sign that her job has taken over her life to the point where she can’t even make time for the important things that she’ll never get back.
9. She Doesn’t Want to Talk About Your Problems
If your wife is working so much that she doesn’t have time to listen to you and your problems, she’s neglecting one of the most basic and important spouse duties.
She may be so focused on her own work stress that she can’t handle hearing about your day, or she may just not care anymore.
Either way, it’s not a good sign.
If you’re struggling to get her to listen to your problems, you have even less chance of her addressing the problems in the relationship.
10. She’s Always Buzzing About Her Work Colleagues
If your wife is always talking about her work colleagues, it’s a sign that she’s getting too involved in her work life.
She may be spending more time with them than with you, or she may be confiding in them more than she is in you.
Either way, it’s not healthy for your relationship and it’s something anyone with a healthy work/life balance would be aware of.
11. You Can Tell She’s Not Really Listening When You Talk
When you’re trying to talk to your wife about your day and she’s half-listening while scrolling through her phone or checking her work email, it’s a sign that her job has taken over.
She may be so used to multi-tasking that she doesn’t even realize she’s not really listening, or she may just not care anymore.
This is one of the issues that plague a lot of couples, and it’s also one of the hardest habits for workaholics to break.
12. She’s Always on Her Phone When You’re Together
If your wife is always on her phone when you’re together, it’s a sign that she’s not present.
She may be working, or she may just be distracted, but either way, it’s not good for your relationship.
Most people are worried their partners are cheating or distracted by someone, it’s even more offensive when you find out she’s working all the time!
13. She Keeps Saying Things Will Change, But They Never Do
There is nothing worse than hearing someone say they’ll change over and over, only to be disappointed over and over.
If this is a constant cycle in your relationship, it’s a sign that her job is always going to come first and you’re always going to be second best.
Unless something drastic happens, that is, but there is no telling what that ‘drastic’ event needs to be.
Related – How to handle your wife if she’s being aggressive all the time.
14. You’re Never Really Sure When She’ll Be Home
If you’re never really sure when she’ll be home, it’s a sign that her job is always going to come first.
She may say she’ll be home at a certain time, but then something always comes up and she has to stay late.
Or if your wife gets to the point where she doesn’t even bother coming home at all some nights, you know you have some serious problems.
15. She Keeps Giving You Career Advice
If your wife is always giving you career advice, it sounds like she’s in aggressive corporate mode all the time.
She may be trying to help, but it probably comes across as nagging, and it will only make you feel like you’re not good enough.
This is especially true if you’re already sick of work, work, work, and you realize your collective focus needs to be on your relationship, not your respective careers.
I explain why it’s still taboo to talk about salary – even though it’s legal – in those posts.
16. She Treats Everyone Like Her Work Subordinates
If your wife treats everyone like her work subordinates, it’s a sign that she’s always in work mode.
She may not even realize she’s doing it, but it probably comes across as bossy and insensitive.
This is another habit that can be hard to break, but it’s important to try if you want to save your relationship!
17. You’ve Told Her You’re Sad and She Just Dismissed It
If you’ve told your wife you’re sad and there are problems in the relationship and she just dismissed it, it’s a sign that she doesn’t really care about your feelings.
Or, to give her the benefit of the doubt, she may care but she’s just not in the right headspace to acknowledge it right now.
She may be so focused on her own career and goals that she doesn’t have time for your emotions, or it may just not feel that serious to her.
But obviously, it is serious, and your relationship is literally falling apart due to her putting work first and your relationship second.
It’s time for her to wake up, for you guys to have a crisis talk, or to seek the help of a therapist.
Whatever it takes, I don’t need to tell you that something needs to change if you want to save your relationship.
Image credits – Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.