I wish we could all control who we fall in love with or feel attracted to – but it’s just not possible.
If you’ve found yourself getting close to a married man, and he’s getting close to you, it’s a tricky situation.
If you’re trying to understand how he feels about you, especially if he talks openly about his wife, it can be difficult.
Here’s what it typically means when a married man likes another woman but talks about his wife:
A Married Man Likes Me But Talks About His Wife – Why Does He Do This?
There could be a few reasons why a married man would talk to you about his wife if it’s obvious that he has feelings for you.
It’s possible that he’s not happy in his marriage and he’s looking for an escape.
Or, maybe he’s just trying to make you jealous or it’s his way to get attention from you.
It could also be that he likes the idea of having someone on the side – and he wants to make it clear to you that you’ll be his affair.
It’s hard to tell without asking him, but there are a lot of clues in how he talks about his wife and what he says.
Here are the ways you can interpret how he’s talking to you and what his intentions probably are:
Related – Here are 25 signs a married guy likes you more than just as a friend!
Does He Complain About His Wife to You?
If the married man you’re talking to complains about his wife a lot, it’s not a good sign.
This means that he’s unhappy in his marriage and he’s looking for someone to commiserate with.
He might be interested in starting an affair with you, but it’s also possible that he just wants someone to talk to.
This is how emotional affairs usually start.
Emotional affairs can be more damaging in the long term than physical affairs, so that’s something to be aware of if you’re confiding in each other all the time.
Does He Make out That He’s Happily Married While Flirting with You?
If he’s trying to make you jealous by talking about how happy he is in his marriage, this is also not a good sign.
This means that he has some emotional issues and he’s playing with your emotions.
It’s toxic behavior that is only going to lead to problems, so I’d try to distance yourself from him if this is what you think he’s doing.
He might be testing the waters to see if you’re open to the idea of an affair. But it’s more likely that he’s just trying to make you jealous as part of some games he likes playing.
Does He Make It Pretty Clear that He’s Willing to Cheat on His Wife?
Whether he’s happy or not, if a married guy is making it obvious he likes you and drops hints – or is very clear – that he’s willing to cheat on his wife, that’s a huge red flag.
This is a man who lacks morals, has probably not been faithful before, and you do not want to get involved with him.
It’s likely that he’s just trying to sleep with you and he doesn’t care about your feelings, so be very careful if this is what he’s doing.
If you feel something for him, I can imagine you’re hanging on his words and hoping the two of you have a future.
But please keep in mind that it’s very likely that he’s done this before, and might even be playing other women right now.
How Do You Tell If A Married Man Is Happy in His Marriage?
If you’re getting mixed signals from this guy and you’re not sure if he’s happily married or not, there are some things to look out for.
Some of the classic signs that a guy is not happy in his marriage include:
- Always making excuses as to why he’s not at home or with his wife
- Constantly talking about his wife or their relationship in a negative way
- Flirting with other women – this is a big one!
- Generally being unhappy and looking like he’s down
- Confiding in you that there are problems in his marriage
Should You Get Close to A Man Who Is Unhappily Married?
If a married guy is flirting or confiding in you and it’s obvious that he’s not happy right now, the best thing you can do is back off and give him space.
It’s not your job to fix his marriage or make him happy.
Plus, his emotions are obviously all over the place so he’s not able to make the best decisions for himself, his wife, marriage, and kids if he has any, right now.
You could end up getting hurt if you get too close to him and he’s not ready to leave his wife.
I know it’s difficult but try and distance yourself emotionally from him if you can.
It’s normal to want to help him, especially if he’s been confiding in you already. But you have to realize that he needs to talk to his wife, not you, and not other women.
Let him know that you’re there for him as a friend, because he’s going to need friends.
But set some strict boundaries on what and when he can talk to you, and don’t let it cross the line into becoming an emotional confidant relationship.
Related – 21 signs that a guy is a married player!
Should You Tell a Married Man How You Feel About Him?
No matter how strong your feelings are for a married man, it’s best not to tell him. Especially if he hasn’t said anything to you about his feelings first.
If he does tell you that he likes you or has feelings for you, then you can decide whether or not to tell him how you feel.
But if he hasn’t said anything, then it’s probably best to keep your feelings to yourself.
You have to think about him and his family, not yourself.
I’m sure you can see a future and a happy ending for the two of you in your head, but how likely is that really?
And how much hurt would the two of you need to go through before getting there – if it is a reality at all?
If this married man’s marriage really isn’t working out, he’s going to leave his wife whether you tell him how you feel about him or not.
When he does and he’s available, in time, you can get closer to him and let him know how you feel.
If he feels the same and it’s meant to be, everything will turn out to have a happy ending.
It’s just not up to you to get involved and make that happen. You have to let a married guy figure out his problems, life, and future on his own terms.
Image credits – Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.