Does a male coworker keep staring at you while you’re working?
Some people find this cute as it might mean he has a crush on them, but it can also be creepy and annoying behavior.
Depending on how much he’s staring and how it’s making you feel, here is how you should tackle this problem:
Should I Tell My Manager if A Male Coworker Stares at Me
As I mentioned, staring can really cover both ends of the spectrum from being cute to being a form of harassment depending on the individual situation.
Likewise, the reason behind staring could be anything from him liking you and not being able to take his eyes off you – to him trying to intimidate you.
So, a couple of important questions to ask yourself are:
Do You Find It Cute and Like the Guy?
If you find the guy attractive and enjoy his attention, then simply let him know that you like the way he’s looking at you.
You can do this by smiling back at him, making more eye contact, or even winking.
It’s a strong sign that he’s interested in you, otherwise, he wouldn’t be staring. So, it’s up to you how confrontational you are about it.
It’s possible he just wants to be friends, and there is nothing wrong with that too.
As long as his intentions are good and he changes his behavior if you tell him it’s becoming a little distracting, then this is something you’ll both have a good laugh about, I’m sure.
Do You Find It Intimidating, Creepy, or Distracting?
On the other hand, if you find his staring behavior to be more on the creepy side, you should tell your manager about it.
It can become a form of harassment if he’s making you feel uncomfortable or is preventing you from focusing on your work.
Your manager should then have a chat with him and explain that his behavior is inappropriate and not welcome in the workplace.
I know this is a difficult conversation to have and might make the issues worse before it gets better, but no one should put up with annoying and toxic behaviors in the workplace.
How Do You Know if Your Male Coworker Is Attracted to You?
I always like to be positive and think the best, so I’m hoping this guy likes you and has good intentions.
If he’s hard to read, some of the other signs to look out for that he likes you are:
- He mirrors your body language
- He’s always finding excuses to be around or near you
- He jumps at every opportunity to help you with work-related tasks
- He fidgets a lot and is obviously nervous when he’s talking to you
- Other coworkers have noticed and are telling you he likes you
If you notice any of these behaviors, then it’s likely he has a crush on you.
Of course, it’s not definitive evidence, but it’s a good place to start.
The best way to know for sure is to ask him directly, but that can be really difficult – especially within the workplace.
The last thing most coworkers want is other workers gossiping or taking an interest in what’s going on in their relationships with other people.
How to Stop a Coworker Staring at You if It’s Annoying You
If you just don’t want a male coworker to stare at you at more, you have a few options:
Speak with Yours or His Manager About It
This is a more serious approach and should only be taken if the staring is making you feel uncomfortable or preventing you from doing your job properly.
Your manager will then have a chat with him about his inappropriate behavior in the workplace and hopefully, it’ll be resolved quickly.
This can cause some conflict, however, but you need to stand firm and know that he’s the one in the wrong.
Tell Him that You Don’t Like Him Staring at You
If you’re feeling brave, you can directly tell him that his staring is making you feel uncomfortable and ask him to stop doing it.
You don’t need to be confrontational about it but just get your point across in a clear and concise way.
Hopefully, he’ll take the hint and won’t stare at you as much and this avoids involving managers and escalating the situation.
Move Location or Block His Line of Sight
If he’s always staring at you from across the room, you could try and move to another area or block his line of sight.
You can do this by moving your chair, putting up a picture on your desk, or asking your manager to let you move to another desk.
This is a more passive way of dealing with the situation but it can be an effective way of stopping him and delivering a subtle hint.
Related – 10 more signs a coworker really likes you.
Ask Someone He Knows to Speak with Him About It
If you know someone who knows him well, you could ask them to have a chat with him about his staring.
This can be a difficult conversation, but it’s often better than speaking with him directly and he might be more inclined to listen when he knows others are aware of what he’s doing.
There you have it, all the reasons why a male coworker might be staring at you across the office or wherever else you work, and some solutions to either get to know him better or make him stop!
If you have had any experiences like this at work, let us know in the comments below how you dealt with it!
Image credits – Photo by Joel Mott on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.