In this article, I’m looking at love bombing vs infatuation.
Sometimes I see the terms ‘love bombing’ and ‘infatuation’ used interchangeably to describe someone who is in love.
But these two terms are very different, and it’s important you’re able to spot the signs of someone who is love bombing you – or is infatuated with you.
Here is everything you need to know about love bombing and infatuation and how to spot the differences!
Love Bombing vs Infatuation – Key Differences
What Is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is when someone showers you with affection in order to win you over.
Not in the good, romantic, or cute way though.
Signs of love bombing include:
- constant texts or calls, even when you’re not replying
- wanting to spend all their time with you, even when you’re putting up resistance
- making grand gestures that clearly aren’t wanted or well-received
- telling you they love you very early on in the relationship
- putting you on a pedestal and making you feel uncomfortable
- smothering you with attention to the point where it’s making you feel intimidated
The issue with love bombing is that the recipient can often make excuses for the love bomber and start to be manipulated by them.
But it’s a toxic form of behavior, being told they ‘love you’ and being showered with gifts is not appropriate.
Love bombing is not OK, it’s not cute, it’s not funny, and it’s not something you should put up with.
What Does It Mean when Someone Is Love Bombing You?
If someone is love bombing you, it means they’re trying to control and manipulate you.
It’s a form of emotional abuse, and can often be hard to spot.
Love bombers will try and make you feel like you need them, and they’ll do anything to win you over.
This can include showering you with gifts, attention, and affection.
They might also try and isolate you from your friends and family, as they want you all to themselves.
It’s important to be aware of the signs of love bombing, as it can be a very toxic form of behavior.
If you think someone is love bombing you, the best thing to do is to get away from them and cut all ties.
Is Love Bombing a Bad Thing?
Yes, love bombing is definitely a bad thing.
The dangerous thing is that it’s a form of emotional abuse that can be very hard to spot.
Love bombers are very good at what they do, and they will try their best to mask their controlling behavior as simply ‘being in love with you’.
If you’re able to step back and see that you’re being love bombed, you have to do everything in your power to separate yourself from the person.
What Is an Infatuation?
An infatuation in the romantic or love sense is defined as ‘an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone’.
Infatuation is often confused with love, but there are key differences.
Infatuation is driven by physical attraction and lust, whereas love is built on trust, respect, and commitment.
When someone is infatuated with someone else they’ll want to be with them, but typically will not do all the love bombing things covered above.
The motivations of infatuation are also different from those of someone who is love bombing.
They don’t necessarily want to control and manipulate the person they are infatuated with – but they do want to be romantically involved.
What Does It Mean When Someone Is Infatuated with You?
If someone is infatuated with you, it means they have a strong physical and emotional attraction to you.
It’s often confused with love or love bombing, but there are key differences.
Infatuation makes someone do some pretty crazy things to get the attention of the person they’re infatuated with, but it’s nowhere as toxic as love bombing.
When someone is infatuated with you they may end up doing some really sweet things, and it’s very possible they’ll win you over in a healthy way!
Is Infatuation a Bad Thing?
No, infatuation is not a bad thing.
While it can be intense, and may not always end up in a romantic relationship – it’s not abusive or toxic like love bombing is.
Of course, there is a thin line between what kinds of behaviors are acceptable and those that cross the line when trying to win someone over.
But generally speaking, someone who is infatuated will be thinking clearly and able to make the right decisions.
While on the other hand, someone who is love bombing is not thinking clearly and doing things that are in the other person’s best interests.
If you think someone is infatuated with you and they’re not doing anything that offends you, the best thing to do is enjoy the attention!
But be aware that they might cross that line at some point, so it’s always best to communicate your boundaries early on.
Love Bombing vs Infatuation – One Is Always Toxic and The Other Is Not!
When comparing the two, the bottom line is that love bombing is a form of emotional abuse and is not a healthy behavior, while infatuation is not.
It’s important to be aware of the signs of both behaviors if someone is chasing you and clearly trying to win you over romantically.
The last thing you want is to get involved with a love bomber, as it will not end well.
On the other hand, if someone is infatuated with you it can be a really fun and exciting experience!
Do only Narcissists Love Bomb?
No, not all narcissists love bomb.
There are different types of narcissism, and not all of them involve love bombing behavior.
However, some experts do believe that love bombing is a form of narcissistic abuse.
So if you’re wondering if the person you’re with is a narcissist or not – it’s best to consult with a mental health professional to get their opinion.
If you think the person bombing you is a narcissist or is showing narcissistic behaviors, you should of course, stay well away from them!
How Long Does the Love Bombing Phase Usually Last?
The love bombing phase can last anywhere from a few weeks to a few months.
It really depends on the person doing the love bombing, and how long it takes for them to get what they want from you – or realize they’re not going to get what they want!
In some cases, the love bomber may back off once they realize you’re not interested in them.
But in other cases, they may continue their behavior in a more subtle way.
For example, they may start to give you the silent treatment or try to gaslight you.
These are also both forms of emotional abuse, and should not be tolerated!
What Is the Difference Between Love and Love Bombing?
The main difference between love and love bombing is that love is healthy, while love bombing is not.
Love bombing is a form of emotional abuse, while love is not.
If you’re wondering if the person you’re with loves you or is just love bombing you – it’s important to pay attention to their behavior.
Generally speaking, if someone is love bombing you they will be doing things that are not in your best interests.
They may also be trying to control you or make you dependent on them.
On the other hand, if someone loves you they will be supportive and want what’s best for you.
Sure, love can make us do some crazy things at times, but there is a huge difference between getting a little crazy and having a secret agenda.
Love is healthy, while love bombing is not.
If you think you’re being love bombed, it’s important to get out of the situation as soon as possible!
In Summary – Love Bombing vs Infatuation
Have you ever been on the receiving end of some intense romantic pursuit, only to feel like something wasn’t quite right?
You might have been the victim of love bombing.
Love bombing is a form of emotional abuse where one person showers another with excessive affection, gifts, and attention in order to control them.
It’s often used as a tactic by narcissists and other manipulators to win over their victim’s trust and create a dependency.
Love bombing can be difficult to spot, because it usually starts off seeming like the person is just really into you.
However, there are some key differences between love bombing and healthy romantic pursuit.
Image credits -Photo by Infini Roze on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.