In this article, I’m answering; ‘why do guys never want a relationship with me?’
So, if that’s something you’re always asking yourself, your friends, and even the men you’re interested in, I think I can help!
While each man has his own reasons and motivations for wanting to be in a relationship, there are always some common trends.
For example, here are 5 reasons why the guys you’re interested in don’t want a relationship with you:
Why Do Guys Never Want a Relationship With Me? (5 Clear Reasons)
1. You Give Off ‘friends’ Vibes
If you want a guy to see you as more than a friend, it’s important that you act like more than a friend.
This means making sure your body language, conversation topics, and overall demeanor all reflect that you’re interested in being seen as someone he can date and not just someone to pal around with.
I know how difficult it can be to flirt if this isn’t something that comes naturally to you, but if you’re only giving off friends’ vibes you need to start trying.
Related – More about what it’s like to want a relationship but not find someone.
2. You’re Meeting the Wrong Types of Guys
There’s a saying that you attract who you are, and this is often very true when it comes to relationships.
If the types of guys you’re interested in don’t want commitment, chances are it’s because they see that you don’t either.
Do an honest assessment of the men you’ve been pursuing and make sure they actually want the same things as you do.
As a general example, if you’re meeting guys out at nightclubs, there is a good chance they’re out for a good time and not a relationship.
On the flip side, if you meet guys while attending local clubs for something you’re interested in, like dog walking or watching movies, there is more of a chance you’ll find a guy interested in you more than a good time.
3. You’re Quick to Get Intimate
I can understand that you want to snap up a guy that you’re interested in and it feels right to get intimate with them as quickly as they want to.
But if you’re getting too intimate too quickly it can send the wrong message.
Men often take this as a sign that you were only interested in the physical side of things.
I’m not suggesting you hold out on a guy, it’s all about finding the perfect balance between forming a deep connection and the physical side of things.
4. You Don’t Make It Clear You’re Looking for A Relationship
This is a big one.
If you want a relationship, you need to make it abundantly clear that this is what you’re looking for.
There’s no use in beating around the bush or trying to play games, if you want a relationship just say so!
The sooner you do, the sooner you can find out if he’s on the same page as you.
And if he’s not, then you can move on and find someone who is.
It sounds a bit harsh and makes the dating process sound a little bit planned, but there is nothing wrong with that if it helps narrow down the field to guys who are looking for a partner!
5. You’re Coming Across as Too Desperate
This is the number one reason why guys don’t want a relationship with a woman.
When you’re coming across as desperate, it’s a huge turn-off.
Guys can smell desperation from a mile away, and they will do everything they can to avoid it.
The key here is to take things slow, both in terms of how quickly you’re moving the relationship forward and in terms of how you’re expressing your feelings.
If you’re constantly texting him or bombarding him with calls, you’re going to come across as desperate.
The same goes for if you’re always the one initiating plans or asking him to hang out.
Give him a chance to pursue you and show you that he’s interested, otherwise you’re going to make him feel uncomfortable and push him away.
What Does It Mean When A Guy Doesn’t Want a Relationship But Acts Like It?
There are a lot of different reasons why a guy might not want a relationship, even if he’s acting like he does.
The reasons for not wanting a relationship could be because he’s not ready for one, he’s afraid of commitment, he has a partner, or he simply doesn’t want one with you.
If you’re interested in a guy and you’re not sure where things stand because he’s giving you mixed signals, you need to ask him to be straight with you.
If he can’t give you a straight answer, at least not one that you’re happy with, then it’s probably time to move on.
There’s no use in trying to force something that isn’t there, and if you suspect he’s not being honest with you then he’s probably playing you.
Related – How to spot the commitment-phobe behaviors and patterns.
What to Do When He Doesn’t Want a Relationship But You Do?
If you’re in a situation where you want a relationship but the guy you’re with doesn’t, it can be tough to work through – something has to give.
For a start, you absolutely have to talk to him about it and try to figure out why he doesn’t want a relationship.
It could be that he’s not ready, doesn’t think you’re compatible, or it’s possible that he doesn’t know you want to be in a committed relationship.
You have to know what he’s thinking to be able to find a solution if there is one.
Can a Man Change His Mind About Not Wanting a Relationship?
The short answer is, yes he can – anyone can change their stance on wanting or not wanting a relationship.
So, don’t give up or write off what you have if you really love your partner just because he says he doesn’t want a relationship.
If it’s worth waiting (a short while) for him and if you really do love him, then you should work on the relationship.
You’ll need to be patient and understanding, while also making it clear that you’re not going to wait around forever though.
I wish you good luck with your relationships and future endeavors, I really hope you find what you’re looking for in a partner.
Do you have any other advice to add? Let me know in the comments below!
Image credits – Photo by Jarle Johansen on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.