So, you’re in a new relationship – but things aren’t moving as quickly as you’d like.
Or maybe you’re the one thinking they’re moving too fast?
Everyone moves at their own pace and will only do what they’re comfortable with,
But that can be frustrating if you’re super keen to take things further!
Here is a look at; how slow is too slow in a relationship?
How Slow Is Too Slow in a Relationship?
When it comes to relationships, everyone moves at their own pace.
Some people are keen to take things quickly, while others prefer to take things slow.
There is no right or wrong answer – it all depends on what you’re comfortable with.
However, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t such a thing as too slow.
If you’re finding that your partner is constantly holding back, it can be frustrating.
While I can’t put a number of days, weeks, or months on a timeline of the benchmarks you should be hitting in your relationship, we can use some common sense.
If one person in the relationship is not happy with the speed at which things are progressing, it is a valid cause for splitting up.
Related – Have you fallen in love before your divorce is final?
Is Going Slow in A Relationship Good?
There is no easy answer to this question.
It all depends on the couple and what they’re comfortable with.
For some, going slow provides a chance to get to know each other better before rushing into things.
Others may find it frustrating and prefer to take things at a faster pace.
It really varies from person to person. If you can find a happy place where you’re both happy with how things are going, that’s the best-case scenario!
But if I had to pick an answer, I’d say that it’s usually better to go slower than it is quickly.
When you go slow you give both of yourselves time to really get to know each other and think more with your heads than on pure emotion.
Why Do Men Move Slowly in A Relationship?
There can be a number of reasons why men move slowly in a relationship.
It could be that they’re not ready for a serious commitment, or it might just be the way they are wired.
Some men need more time to open up and feel comfortable with their partner, while others might be scared of getting hurt.
Again, it all comes down to the individual.
The best thing you can do is communicate with your partner and see where they’re at.
Are you on the same page?
Do you want the same things?
If you’re not sure, it’s worth having a conversation about it.
Only then will you be able to figure out if things are moving too slowly for your liking.
How to Tell Is Someone Is Taking It Slow or Just Not Interested
When your partner isn’t opening up to you, showing you affection, or just not showing you they’re interested in the relationship, it’s normal to wonder if it’s because they’re not interested.
You can look for subtle signs, but honestly, the best way to figure out if this is the case is to have a conversation with them.
It’s possible they’re just taking things slow, but it’s also possible that they don’t see a future with you.
If you’re not sure, the best thing to do is ask! Only then will you be able to get a clear answer.
Whatever You Do, Don’t Try and Pressure Your Partner
If you’re finding that your partner is constantly holding back, it can be frustrating.
But no matter how frustrated you are, never pressure them into moving things along faster.
Neither by hinting, asking, or trying to guilt them into moving things at a pace you want.
Not only is it likely to push them away, but if they do start moving at a pace they’re not comfortable with they’ll end up blaming you when they don’t feel comfortable.
The best thing you can do is take a step back and look at things from their perspective.
Try to understand how they’re feeling. Talk to them about it, I’m sure they’re anxious about some things, so talking about it will only help.
Related – Here is why some people can’t get into a relationship!
Never Compare Yourself to Other Couples Either
Another thing I want to point out that will only put more strain on your relationship is trying to compare your relationship with that of friends.
You are not them and they are not you.
Every relationship is different and moves at its own pace.
Just because your friends might be further along in their relationships doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with yours.
Remember, it’s all about what works for the two of you!
And remember, relationships that move fast, especially in the early stages, are unlikely to last as long as those who took a little extra time to get to know each other better.
Don’t feel left behind if all of your friends are getting married and having kids, that’ll happen for you and it’s best it does when both you and your partner are 100% ready!
Wrapping Up!
It’s important to remember that everyone moves at their own pace in a relationship.
What might be too slow for one person might be just perfect for another.
The best thing you can do is communicate with your partner and see how they’re feeling and what pace they’re comfortable with.
Just try not to push them or give them deadlines or ultimatums, this is only going to make them pull away from you even more.
Image credits – Photo by Janosch Diggelmann on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.