If you’re with one of those guys who move slow in relationships, I know how frustrating it can be.
It can also make you question if he really likes you and is into the relationship or is just stringing you along.
There are a lot of things you can do to satisfy yourself that he does like you, and also some things you can do to support and encourage him to commit.
Here are 10 things to consider when dating a guy who moves slowly in a relationship – covering the good and the bad!
10 Things to Consider With Guys Who Move Slow in Relationships
1. Going Slow Is Better than Rushing Things
If you’ve been dating someone for a while and they are still taking things slowly, the silver lining is that it’s better for your relationship in the long run.
I know that’s not easy to hear when you’re anxious for more commitment from him, but statistically, it’s the truth.
It’s normal to think that it means they don’t like you as much as you thought or maybe even that they’re seeing someone else.
Before you freak out, consider the possibility that going slow is actually the best way to build a deeper connection and really get to know each other.
2. He Might Have Been Hurt in A Previous Relationship
If he’s been hurt before, it stands to reason that he’ll be more cautious in a new relationship.
So, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you or that he isn’t interested – just that he might need some extra time to open up and trust again.
If you can be patient with him and offer support as he starts to open up, it will be worth it in the end.
And who knows, you might even find out that he’s an amazing guy who just needed a little time to heal.
3. He Might Thing It’s You Who Wants to Take Things Slowly
Sometimes, it’s not that he wants to take things slowly – it’s that he thinks you do!
This can be especially true if you’re the one who initiated the relationship or if you’ve been more reserved about your feelings than he has.
If this is the case, try expressing your feelings to him and see what happens.
Communication is everything in a relationship, talk openly with him about how you feel and what you want from your relationship and see what he says.
4. He’s a Commitment-Phobe
This is a tough one to take, but it’s possible that he’s simply afraid of commitment.
There could be any number of reasons for this – maybe he’s never been in a long-term relationship before, or maybe he’s just afraid of being hurt again.
Whatever the reason, it’s not going to be easy to change his mind and it’s something you really need to think hard over if you have your heart set on a committed relationship.
5. He’s Not Sure About His Feelings for You
This is a difficult one, because it can be tough to tell if he’s just not sure or if he’s stringing you along.
The best way to handle this is probably just to talk to him about it and see what he says.
If he’s honest with you and tells you that he’s not sure yet but wants to keep seeing you, then there’s a chance things could work out.
But if he seems evasive or unwilling to talk about it, then it’s probably time to really question what his motivations are.
6. He’s Sensible Enough to Give It Time to Spot Red Flags
On the other hand, maybe he’s just a sensible guy who knows that it takes time to really get to know someone.
And if that’s the case, then you should probably be thankful!
A lot of relationships start out with a bang and then fizzle out pretty quickly because people rush into things without taking the time to get to know each other properly.
There are (usually) red flags that appear in relationships over time, and it’s not possible to see them unless you take things slow and allow them to appear.
7. He Struggles to Manage His Feelings
It’s possible that he just doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings, especially if he’s never been in a serious relationship before.
In this case, it might be helpful to talk to him about how he’s feeling and see if you can help him to express himself better.
A lot of guys find it difficult to open up, but if you can see he’s being sincere and he is struggling with his feelings internally, you should do everything you can to support him.
8. He’s Protecting Himself
It could also be that he’s head over heels in love but he’s just trying to protect himself from getting hurt.
This is especially likely if he’s been burned in the past or if he has trust issues.
If you think this might be the case, again, try to be understanding and supportive and I’m sure you’ll see him opening up over time.
Reassure him that you’re not going anywhere and see if you can build up his trust slowly but surely.
9. He Doesn’t Think You’re Serious About Him
Another reason why guys take things slowly sometimes is because they are thinking more about how you feel about them than they do about you.
This can be especially true if you’ve only been dating for a short while or he’s getting mixed signals from you and he’s not sure where your head is at.
The best way to combat this is like in most situations – by communicating with him openly and getting him to open up about how he’s feeling and any insecurities.
10. There Are Things You Don’t Yet Know About Him
I hope this doesn’t sound too mysterious, but sometimes people take things slowly because there are things about themselves that they’re not yet ready to reveal.
And that’s okay, everyone has secrets and it’s not always easy to share them with someone new.
But if he seems to be holding back on sharing things about himself with you, it could be a sign that he’s not ready to fully commit until he gets some things off his chest.
All you can really do is make it clear that you’re there for him and willing to talk without judgment when he’s ready – and that time will come.
Why Taking Things Slow Is Often a Good Thing
As I touched on earlier, as frustrating as it is when a guy takes things slowly and doesn’t commit as much as you’d like, there is a silver lining.
It often means that he cares about you enough to want to do things right and not rush into things without thinking first.
And that’s pretty great, if you ask me!
Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule and there are times when a guy taking things slow is just a cop-out or an excuse.
But even if that’s the case, it’s better that you don’t get too deeply involved if he’s not sure about how he feels.
That just sets the relationship up to fail even harder.
So, slow is better, but of course, there is such a thing as too slow!
How to Tell if A Guy Is Taking Things Slow or Stringing You Along
There are a few key signs that will help you to figure out if he’s taking things slow because he likes you or if he’s just not that into you.
The first thing to look at is his level of investment in the relationship.
If he’s putting in the effort and making an effort to see you, then it’s likely that he’s taking things slow because he likes you and wants to make sure he doesn’t mess things up.
But if he seems disinterested and isn’t putting in any effort, then it might be time to have a serious conversation or consider moving on.
Another key sign is how much communication there is between you two.
If he’s quick to respond to your texts and calls and is often the one initiating contact, then it’s a good sign that he likes you.
How to Help a Guy Move Quicker in A Relationship
You need to be patient and wait for him to come around and commit more to you and the relationship.
But if you want to try and speed things up a bit, here are a few things you could do:
- Talk about your relationship goals and what you’re looking for early on. This will help him to understand where you’re at and what you want.
- Make an effort to see each other as often as possible. The more time you spend together, the faster he’ll come around.
- Be open and honest with him about your feelings and let him know that you’re not going anywhere. This will help to build trust and make him feel more comfortable about committing.
- Be patient! Like I said, sometimes there’s just no rush. If he’s worth it, then he’ll come around in his own time.
Guys who move slow in relationships can be frustrating, but if you understand where they’re coming from, it’s easier to deal with!
Image credits – Photo by Eve Maier on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.