First loves are special, they really are – after all, we can only have one first!
If you split with your first love but have never forgotten about them and have the unique opportunity to reconnect after 30 years, that’s incredibly special.
I’m sure you’re nervous, anxious, excited, and more.
I only hope I can be of some help!
Here are 10 things to expect when reconnecting with first love after 30 years!
10 Things to Expect when Reconnecting with First Love After 30 Years
1. You’re Going to Experience New Levels of Anxiety
This is totally normal – but it’s going to be difficult to handle!
You’re about to reconnect with someone who holds a very special place in your heart – of course, you’re going to be anxious.
Do your best to manage your anxiety so it doesn’t take over.
There are plenty of ways to do this, from deep breathing exercises to yoga to talking to a therapist.
A mistake a lot of people make when connecting with an old love is not preparing for those nerves.
Related – Does your first love still think of you? Here’s what we know.
2. You’ll Also Be Incredibly Excited!
It’s not all bad news – you’re going to be excited, too!
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and you get to experience it with someone you once cared for deeply.
Allow yourself to feel that excitement and enjoy it.
You might find yourself daydreaming about the future and what could be.
That’s okay, just don’t get too ahead of yourself.
Take things one step at a time and savor the moments as they come. You’re both very different people after all this time and have some ground to make up.
3. It Might Be Awkward in Places, but That’s Fine
You might find yourself in some awkward situations – and that’s to be expected!
For example, you might not know how or if to hug each other after all this time, and there will be some awkward silences I’m sure, even with 30 years of stuff to catch up on!
That’s okay, it’s all to do with the nervous energy and is completely normal, it doesn’t mean you’re not getting along.
Just go with the flow and do what feels right in the moment. If things get too awkward, just laugh it off and move on.
4. Remember to Be Yourself, That’s Who They Want
You might be tempted to try and be someone you’re not, especially if you think they want to see a different version of you after all these years.
But that’s not fair to either of you – they want to see the real you, who you are now.
The same person they fell in love with all those years ago is still there, and I’m sure they’ll see that twinkle in your eye.
But you have to keep in mind that they’ve changed, and a lot of time has passed.
And besides, if they don’t like who you are now, then it’s not meant to be!
5. Both of You Are Not Who You Were 30 Years Ago
This applies to both your physical and mental state!
You’ve both aged, of course, and will look different. Your body has changed, as well as your hair, skin, and so on.
And that’s perfectly normal, there is only so much we can do against the tick-tock of time!
It’s the same with your mental state – you’ve both been through a lot in 30 years, and it’s shaped who you are today.
Sure, your memories of your first love are locked into those magical moments you had 30 years ago, but prepare yourself for someone who looks and acts (a little) different today.
6. You’ll Need to Get to Know Each Other All Over Again
This is probably going to be both the most challenging and exciting part about meeting your first love again after 30 long years.
You’ve both changed a lot over the years, no matter if you think so or not. While you might have some shared memories from your early years, there’s more that you don’t know about each other over the last 30 years.
This is your chance to get to know them all over again – their likes and dislikes, their hopes and dreams.
Hopefully, it’ll be like falling in love for the first time all over again!
7. Don’t Bring up Anything Negative About Your Past
This is a major no-no. If you want this reunion to be successful, then you need to leave the past in the past.
Don’t bring up any arguments or fights you had, don’t talk about what went wrong – just focus on the good times and where you both are now.
The same goes for anything negative that’s happened in your life since you last saw each other – they don’t need to know about that, either.
Keep things positive and upbeat, and you’ll both have a much better time.
8. Be Honest with Yourself About How You Feel About Them
This is a big one. You need to be honest with yourself about how you really feel about this person before you take things any further.
Remember, they’re not the same person they were 30 years ago, and you’re not either.
You might find that your feelings have changed, or that you don’t have that instant connection you were hoping for.
It’s best not to put too much pressure on yourself, if that’s possible, and to just go with the flow and see how things go.
You’re not picking up where you left off 30 years ago, you’re meeting someone after 30 years that you had something special with.
9. Don’t Feel Like You Need to Rush Things
You might have a lot of catching up to do and feel like you’ve missed out on a lot, but that doesn’t mean you need to rush things.
This is a huge moment for both of you, and it’ll take some time for things to feel natural again.
Don’t try to force anything – if you’re not ready for certain things, then don’t do them.
The worst thing you can do is put pressure on yourself – or your first love – to move things along quickly.
Feelings need to grow organically and mutually, and that’s something you can’t rush.
10. Don’t Let Them Get Away Again if It’s True Love!
I’m sure I don’t need to remind you; this is your chance to finally reconnect with the one you’ve been thinking about for 30 years.
Lots of people long for this opportunity but never get it.
That said, take into account everything I’ve said about not putting too much pressure on yourself or trying to rush things.
But if you feel something special for them, don’t let them get away again – seize the opportunity and see where things go!
You never know, this could be the start of something beautiful and long-lasting between the two of you with a 30-year gap in the middle.
If it’s worth fighting for, fight for it!
Do You Ever Stop Loving Your First Love?
It’s often said that we never stop loving our first love.
I think it’s more accurate to say that we never forget our first love, and it’s special for the reason that it’s our first, and there can only be one first.
I’m sure some people never get over their first love, but I also know for a fact that some do.
I’m one of those people.
I was young and foolish when I first fell in love, and it didn’t work out for a number of reasons.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate what we had, or that I don’t still care for her in some way.
I’ll always have a special place in my heart for my first love, but I don’t think about her all the time like I used to.
I’m happy with my life now, and I’m glad for the experience I had as it helped shape who I am today, but I’m also happy I was able to move on from my first love.
How Often Do First Loves Reconnect?
The answer to this question is probably not as often as we’d like.
It’s not easy reconnecting with a first love after 30 years – or even after a few years, for that matter.
But it does happen, and when it does, it can be a really beautiful thing.
With social media and all the ways we can find and connect with people from our past, it’s usually not hard finding someone.
It’s more a case of if you’re both in a place in your life where it makes sense to meet up and risk bringing all those emotions to the top.
If thinking about your first love is something that you just can’t shake, meeting – or just reaching out to them – is something that can help you find closure.
It’s something to consider.
Image credits – Photo by Sven Mieke on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.