When you get into a new relationship emotions are running high, it’s exciting, there’s passion, you want to know everything about the person…
and it’s all too easy to spend every minute together and move too fast.
The problem is that moving quickly in a relationship puts a strain on it.
You’re more likely to split than you are if you were to take things slowly and get to know each other on a deeper level.
Here are 10 reasons why relationships that move fast fail more often than relationships that progress slow and steady!
10 Reasons Why Relationships That Move Fast Fail
1. You Don’t Get to ‘Really’ Know Each Other
When you move too fast in a relationship, you don’t get to know the person on a deeper level.
You may think you know everything about them but in reality, you only know the surface-level stuff.
It takes time to get to really know someone, that’s just a fact.
We all have layers to our personalities, some people are quick to let other people peel away those layers, but it always takes time.
Moving too quickly can also cause you to gloss over important things about each other that could be deal-breakers.
Related – How slow is going too slow in a relationship?
2. You Don’t Have Time to Pay Attention to Red Flags
When you’re head-over-heels in love with someone it’s easy to ignore the red flags.
But if you’re moving too fast, you won’t have time to pay attention to those little things that could be warning signs for a future problem.
It’s important to take your time and really listen to what the other person is saying (and not saying).
We all want to believe the best in people, but sometimes those red flags are there for a reason.
If something doesn’t feel right, listen to your gut – or pay attention to those obvious signs – and take a step back.
3. Your Vision Is Clouded by Lust
Lust is a powerful thing, it can make you do and say things that you normally wouldn’t.
It’s natural to be attracted to someone and to feel those physical sensations, but when that’s all there is – it won’t last.
You need more than just physical attraction to sustain a long-term relationship.
If you’re moving too fast, it’s easy to get caught up in the physicality of it all and ignore the other important aspects that make a relationship last.
4. People Put on Their Best Front in The Short Term
In the beginning stages of a relationship, people tend to put their best foot forward.
They want to impress you and they’re on their best behavior – and who can blame them.
But as time goes on and you get comfortable with each other, that’s when the real person comes out.
And if you’ve moved too fast, you may not like what you see by the time you feel like you’ve gone too far by moving in together, meeting family, etc.
It’s important to take your time and get to know someone before you get too invested.
5. Everything Is New and Exciting – For a While
In the early stages of a relationship, everything is new and exciting.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that won’t last forever – it’s just not possible.
At some point, things will start to feel routine and that’s when you need to make an effort to keep the spark alive.
If you’ve moved too fast, you may find that you have nothing left to keep things interesting by the time the newness wears off.
Those red flags might also be appearing more often and wearing on you more, too.
6. You’re Operating on Emotions Not Sense
When you’re caught up in the thrill of a new relationship it’s easy to make decisions based on your emotions instead of your head.
The problem, however, is that when we’re emotional we are not able to make the best decisions.
But if you want your relationship to stand the test of time, you need to be able to think with a clear head.
Moving too fast can cause you to make impulsive decisions – like getting married or moving in together – that you may later regret.
It’s important to take a step back, breathe, and think about what you’re doing!
7. You Haven’t Taken the Time to Build Trust
One of the most important foundation stones for any relationship is trust.
And that takes time to build.
If you’ve moved too fast, you may find yourself in a situation where you’re not sure if you can trust your partner.
That can be a really difficult place to be and it can put a lot of strain on your relationship.
It’s important to take the time to get to know someone and build that trust before you take things to the next level.
If you don’t trust your partner, your relationship is destined to fail.
8. Connecting on A Deeper Level Can’t Be Rushed
If you want a strong relationship that will only get stronger over time, you also need to connect with your partner on a deep level.
That means being able to share your thoughts, feelings, and fears with them – and knowing that they will do the same with you.
It takes time to develop that level of trust and intimacy, so if you’ve been moving too fast it’s likely that you haven’t reached that point yet.
And without that deep connection, your relationship really hasn’t moved past the lust or ‘honeymoon period’ and you’re probably already talking about making a serious commitment.
9. You Don’t Know if You Share the Same Long-Term Goals
When you’re caught up in the moment it’s easy to forget about the future.
But if you want your relationship to last, you need to make sure that you’re on the same page when it comes to your long-term goals.
Do you want the same things?
Are you heading in the same direction?
It’s easy for you or your partner to say you are when it’s early in a relationship, but views and opinions can also change over time.
If you’re moving too fast and getting committed to one another without really knowing if you want the same things from the future, it’s a recipe for disaster.
10. It Takes Time for Annoying Habits to Build Up
We all have them – those little annoying habits that drive us crazy.
And usually, it takes time for those to show up. Or at least for them to become so annoying that it’s a problem.
If you’ve been moving too fast in your relationship, they might already be starting to get on your nerves!
Those little things can quickly become big issues if you’re not careful.
When you take things slower, you can pick up on those annoying habits and test the water to see if anything can be done before getting deeper involved.
Can a Relationship That Starts Fast Last?
While it’s not impossible, it’s definitely harder for a relationship that starts off fast to stand the test of time.
There are just too many things working against you.
It’s important to take your time and really get to know someone before getting serious due to the points covered above.
That way you can avoid all of the pitfalls that come with moving too fast and you’re more likely to end up in a happy and healthy relationship that will last.
How Do You Fix a Relationship After Moving Too Fast?
If you’ve already made the mistake of moving too fast and cracks are starting to show, it’s not the end of the world.
You can definitely try to fix things and get your relationship back on track if you care about each other and want to make your relationship work.
The first step is to sit down with your partner and talk about what’s going on.
Be honest about your feelings and explain that you think you moved too fast and want to try to take things slower.
Then, make a plan for how you’re going to do that.
It might mean taking a step back and not seeing each other as much or it might just mean communicating more and being more open with each other about your feelings.
Whatever it is, make sure you’re both on the same page and willing to work on things.
From there, it’s just a matter of being patient and giving your relationship the time it needs to develop in a healthy way.
How Fast Should a Relationship Progress?
There’s no right or wrong answer to this question.
It depends on the couple and what works for them.
Some couples might move fast and it works out great for them while others might take things slow and that’s what works best for them.
The important thing is that you’re both comfortable with the pace of your relationship and you’re communicating with each other about your feelings.
If you’re not sure how fast is too fast for you, it’s a good idea to sit down and talk about it with your partner.
That way you can figure out what works best for both of you and make sure you’re on the same page.
You’ll know if things are going too fast, you’ll be able to feel it. The important thing is that you listen to how you’re feeling, and do something about it.
If something doesn’t feel right and you keep those thoughts, feelings, and emotions inside – you’re going to become part of the statistics of couples that split because they moved too fast!
Image credits – Photo by Ibrahim Fareed on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.