If you like a guy or are in a relationship with him but he’s blowing hot and cold on you, it sounds like he needs some time and space to figure things out.
It’s tough to do as it feels like you’re letting him go, but it’s better if you give him space than smother him if you want to know where you stand!
Here are 15 reasons why giving him space to figure out what he wants is the best way to reignite your relationship (or figure out you can’t):
- Giving Him Space to Figure out What He Wants – 10 Reasons
- 1. He’ll Better Understand His Feelings for You
- 2. He Won’t Feel Pressured to Make a Decision
- 3. He Will Miss You if He Cares About You
- 4. You Won’t Be Fighting All the Time
- 5. You’ll Also Figure out How Much You Miss Him
- 6. The Saying ‘Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder’ Is True
- 7. You’ll Both Grow as Individuals While Apart
- 8. He Cannot Say He’s Feeling Overwhelmed
- 9. He’ll Have Time and Space to Talk It Over with Friends
- 10. You’ll Appreciate What’s Important to You
- 5 Things You Should Be Doing and Thinking About
Giving Him Space to Figure out What He Wants – 10 Reasons
1. He’ll Better Understand His Feelings for You
When you give someone space, especially if there are some stresses or issues in the relationship, it enables them to better understand their feelings for you.
Without the constant distraction of being with you, he’ll be able to think more clearly and decide if he really wants to be in the relationship or not.
If you give him space and he does come back, it’s also likely he’ll be more invested and committed than before as he would’ve had time to really miss you.
On the other hand, if he doesn’t come back it’s probably for the best as he’s had time to dig deep and realize he doesn’t feel the same way as you do.
2. He Won’t Feel Pressured to Make a Decision
Giving him space to figure out what he wants also releases the pressure he might be feeling from having you bearing down on him.
You may not feel like you’re being overbearing, but there is a huge difference between seeing someone all the time and being given space to make a decision.
If you give him space and time, he won’t feel like he has to choose right away and can take his time in coming to a conclusion.
3. He Will Miss You if He Cares About You
This is the main reason why giving someone space is often the right thing in a relationship.
If you give him space and he really does care about you, he will miss you.
It sounds clichéd, but often people only realize what they have when it’s gone.
He will start to appreciate you more and the time you spend together, which can only be a good thing if you’re moving forward together.
4. You Won’t Be Fighting All the Time
If you’re constantly arguing or bickering, it might be a sign that you need some space.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing as it can be a way of venting frustrations, but it’s not healthy to be fighting all the time.
Giving each other space will give you both time to cool down and think about what you’re arguing about.
It might even give you some perspective on whether the issue is worth arguing about, which I’m sure it’s not!
5. You’ll Also Figure out How Much You Miss Him
Let’s not forget that there are two of you in this relationship, and I’m sure his actions are affecting you.
Whilst he’s figuring out what he wants, you’ll also have time to figure out what you want.
You might find that you miss him more than you thought and want to work things out, or you might be the one who realizes that you’re happier without him.
Either way, giving each other space is a healthy thing and will help both of you.
6. The Saying ‘Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder’ Is True
This is definitely true when it comes to relationships.
If you give him space, he will start to miss you and realize how much he cares for you.
It might sound a bit cheesy or cliche, but it’s definitely true!
Of course, there is the chance that he (or you) realizes that you don’t really miss each other, but if that’s what is meant to be, so be it.
7. You’ll Both Grow as Individuals While Apart
When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get to a point where you stop doing the things you love and get into that ‘comfortable’ zone and stop pushing yourself or each other.
If you give each other space, however, you’ll both have time to focus on yourselves and grow as individuals.
This is great for both of you from a personal perspective as it encourages you to both mature and better understand your feelings which will only benefit your relationship.
8. He Cannot Say He’s Feeling Overwhelmed
The good thing about giving a guy space is that he can no longer make excuses for his behavior.
He can’t say that he’s feeling overwhelmed or can’t make a decision when you’re around, because he has space.
If he is still making excuses then it’s an indication that he’s either really not sure about what he wants and needs more time, or he’s not able to be honest about his feelings.
9. He’ll Have Time and Space to Talk It Over with Friends
Leaning on our support network is incredibly important, and that’s something that is often cut off when we’re in a relationship.
If you give him space, he’ll have time to talk to his friends about what’s going on and get some outside perspectives.
This can be really helpful as it might give him some clarity on what he’s feeling and what he wants from the relationship.
It can also help him to see things from your perspective, which is important.
10. You’ll Appreciate What’s Important to You
When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in the other person and what they want.
This is especially true if your guy has been going hot and cold on you and giving you mixed signals.
Giving each other space will give you time to focus on what’s important to you and what you want from the relationship.
Keep in mind that it’s not all about him, and you also have to prepare yourself for the fact that it might not be in your best interests to carry on as a couple.
5 Things You Should Be Doing and Thinking About
11. Keep Yourself Busy and Don’t Wait on Him
One of the worst things you can do when giving a guy space to figure things out is to put your life on hold and wait around for him.
This will only make you feel worse and your anxiety levels will creep up, so it’s important to keep yourself busy.
Do things that make you happy, see your friends and family, and just enjoy your life.
12. Lean on Your Support Network if Things Are Tough
If you’re finding it tough to give him space, then make sure you lean on your support network for help.
Talking to your friends and family about what’s going on can make a huge difference in how you’re feeling.
They’ll be able to offer you some valuable insight and support, which is exactly what you need right now.
Plus, just having a listening ear goes a long way.
13. Don’t Bug Him But Let Him Know You’re There for Him
One of the hardest things is not reaching out to him if you’re not hearing enough from him.
You might be dying to know what he’s up to and how he’s feeling, but it’s important to give him that space you said you were going to.
Space means space, no matter how anxious you are.
14. Be Strong and Don’t Let Things Go Back to How They Were
Giving a guy space to figure out how he feels is great, especially if you get the result you’re hoping for.
But that doesn’t mean you should be complacent or things will quickly go back to how they were before.
You need to find a way to improve the communication between the two of you to avoid that happening.
Better communication is the answer to almost all issues in a relationship, regardless of the outcome.
15. Set Some Healthy Boundaries when You Do Reconnect
On the back of improving communication and making positive changes going forward, setting healthy boundaries for your relationship is a must.
You need to be on the same page about what you both want and expect from each other, and that needs to be made clear from the outset.
Giving him space was a good thing and I’m sure he sees that, but it’s not something you want to have to do over and over again.
Image credits – Photo by Cristofer Maximilian on Unsplash