It’s super frustrating if you’re one of those girls saying, “I always text him first should I stop?”
If you’re always texting a guy first it’s going to make you feel like you’re putting in more effort and he’s not as invested as you are.
But this isn’t always the case, some guys just aren’t proactive at texting but are still really into you.
Here is how you can tell if a guy likes you even though you always text first and whether or not you should stop texting him first:
I Always Text Him First Should I Stop?
To answer this question, there are a few things you need to take into account, such as:
- How often are you texting him?
- How quickly, and often does he text you back?
- Is he dry texting you?
- How much does he mean to you?
- Are there other signs he likes/doesn’t like you?
If the answers to these questions are positive, such as he’s making it obvious he likes you and engages in conversations, it’s a positive sign.
But, if it feels like you’re putting in way more effort and he’s barely texting back and not putting in any effort, I’m sure you can see where this is going.
Let’s unpack these questions and possibilities a bit more to help you figure out if it’s worth continuing to pursue this guy:
Related – If she doesn’t respond, should you leave her alone? Answered!
How Often Are You Texting Him?
How often you’re texting him first has an impact on how one-sided your relationship is.
If you’re texting him so often that he barely has a chance to text you first, you’re not giving him a fair chance and he probably knows all he has to do is wait.
On the other hand, if you only text him once a day or so and he never texts you first, this shows that he’s not thinking of you as much as you’re thinking of him.
How Quickly, and Often Does He Text You Back?
Similar to the last point, you also need to take into account how quick he is to text you once you’ve texted him.
If he gets back to you right away, that’s a great sign.
But if he takes hours or even a day to get back to you, it’s not as promising.
However, there are always exceptions, such as if he’s really busy with work or school.
But I think we know deep down that if he was excited to talk to you he’d make the effort to send a quick text.
Is He Dry Texting You?
There is also a lot you can tell about how keen a guy is by how he’s texting you.
If he’s sending you one-word answers and seems uninterested it’s a pretty good sign he doesn’t want to text with you that much.
But if he’s engaging in conversations, asking you questions and seems happy to talk it’s a good sign he likes you.
This makes me believe that he’s nervous to text you first or just knows that you’ll be texting him – which is a great sign if you like him.
How Much Does He Mean to You?
I ask you this question because if this guy means a lot to you and you have a romantic interest in him, you shouldn’t stop.
Sure, he’s not texting you first and you’re getting the impression that he’s not interested, but it’s hard to get an accurate evaluation on this over text message.
It’s possible that he is just as interested and just doesn’t want to come on too strong by texting you all the time.
There’s also a chance he’s waiting for you to make the first move as he’s too anxious or because it makes him feel better.
There are a lot of possible scenarios, don’t give up just yet based on him not texting you first!
Are There Other Signs He Likes/doesn’t Like You?
Following on from not just using someone’s texting habits as a way of deciding if they’re into you, what other signs are there you can look at?
Do you see him in person?
If so, some of the signs he’s like you, even if he’s shy or nervous are:
- He stares at you
- He’s always around you
- He finds excuses to touch you or be close to you
- He blushes or gets nervous around you
There are many other signs, but these are just a few to give you an idea. I think you’ll be able to tell or feel if a guy likes you, or mutual friends will be able to tell.
Body language and physical cues are a lot more reliable than whether or not a guy texts first!
Related – Reasons why he text you after your first date but not since.
So, Should You Stop Texting Him First and Wait for Him to Text You?
Taking all of the above into account, if you feel like he’s not into you and isn’t making much effort, you should stop texting him first.
It’s a brave move if you like him and are concerned about losing him, but it’s going to answer that burning question, “does he like me?”
It’s a win-win, too.
If he doesn’t ever text you, then clearly he doesn’t want to take things further with you and you’ve saved yourself a lot of effort chasing him
On the flipside, if he likes you he will start missing you when you stop texting him and he’ll reach out to you!
I hope you found this post helpful. If you have any further questions or would like me to elaborate on anything, please let me know in the comments!
Also, if you have any feedback or experience of being in this situation yourself, please share how you dealt with it!
Image credits – Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.