Dating and interacting with girls (or boys) you like is tough, and it’s even more difficult over text messages.
A question I hear a lot is, ‘if she doesn’t respond, leave her alone or contact her again?’
This is a tough one.
You don’t want to come across as annoying, clingy, or needy, but at the same time, you might be one more text away from making it work!
Here’s how I look at this situation:
If She Doesn’t Respond, Leave Her Alone?
Before you make a decision on whether or not you’re going to pursue her, there are some things you should take a moment to think about:
How Long Ago Did You Text Her?
If you just sent the text and are stressing over not hearing back from her, give it some time.
She might be busy, in class, or simply hasn’t seen the text.
There is no right or wrong answer in regard to how long you should wait for a girl to respond to your text, but I wouldn’t stress if it’s been a few hours or even a day or two.
Related – If you always text her first, should you stop? Answered!
What Did You Say in The Text?
You also have to take into account what you said in the text. Does it warrant a response?
I know how crazy that sounds, but something innocent like, “Hey, hope you’re good?” could be a conversation starter for you and something she read and put to the back of her mind.
If you didn’t send an open-ended question that warrants a reply, if you send another message make sure that one is open-ended.
Is She Generally Good at Replying?
You know the girl you’re texting better than I do, so take into account how she is in general when it comes to replying.
Have you texted back and forth before? Has anything changed between the two of you since you last spoke?
There’s a good chance that if you’ve been texting regularly and suddenly she goes MIA, something is up.
But if this is the first or one of very few communications between the two of you, it’s not so clear.
Have You Seen Her in Person Since?
If you’ve also seen her in person, whether that’s just in passing or actually bumped into her and chatted and she still hasn’t replied, that’s fishy.
I want to think about the best-case scenario and assume she’s not seen the message for some reason or forgotten to reply.
Otherwise, it’s a bit awkward if you’re going to see her in person and she’s avoiding messaging you back.
How Much Does She Mean to You?
This is the main question you need to ask yourself when you’re thinking about whether or not to message her again.
How much does she mean to you?
How much are you willing to put yourself out there and try to get her attention?
If the answers to those questions are; “a lot!”, and “Yes!”, then you should totally message her again!
Related – What to do if you get anxious waiting for someone to text back.
What To Message Her if She Didn’t Respond to Your Last Message
So, you’ve decided to message her again, but what should you say?
I recommend taking the friendly, maybe you forgot to reply type of message, you could say something like:
“Hey! I hope you’re having a good day.
I’m just wondering if you saw my last message?”
By approaching it this way, you’re not putting her on the spot or making her feel bad for not responding.
Or you could say something like, “Hey, don’t mean to bug you, just wondered if you were free this weekend?”
What’s the worst that can happen, right?
You might get ignored – but that’s already happened.
You might get rejected – but that’s fine, that’s life and you never know until you try.
The bottom line is, if you want to message her again, go for it!
What have you got to lose?
Image credits – Photo by Andrej Lišakov on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.