Are you starting to suspect your husband or boyfriend is cheating on you with someone at his workplace?
Work affairs are common, and if your gut is telling you something is up you’re right to check up on him.
No matter how discreet he’s trying to be there will always be signs that give him away.
Here are 20 of the most common signs he’s cheating on you at work:
20 Signs He’s Cheating on You at Work
1. He’s Spending More Time at ‘Work’ than He Should Be
If you suspect your partner is cheating, one of the most obvious signs is that they’re spending more time away from you and your home.
After all, they need to spend time with their affair and this will always come at a sacrifice of the time they have with you.
This is what makes work-related affairs more difficult to catch as they’ll be seeing their affair during work hours, but they will want to see them outside of work, too.
If your partner has been using overtime or staying at work longer as an ever increasing excuse for not being at home, this is the most common red flag that he’s cheating on you at work with someone.
2. He’s Started Taking Overnight Business Trips
If your partner wants to stay overnight with his affair, he might use a work-related business trip as an excuse.
Maybe he does take business trips, or maybe it’s a complete lie – either way, if he’s staying out overnight for business trips and you suspect he’s cheating it’s worth looking into.
You can start by asking him about his business trip – where he’s staying, what the purpose of the trip is and who he’ll be meeting with.
If he’s unable to give you a straight answer or seems evasive, this is a red flag.
3. He’s Acting ‘Weird’ Around You
This is more of a general feeling than it is any one visible sign.
If your partner is cheating on you, chances are he’s feeling guilty about it and acting weird around you as a result.
He might be more withdrawn, or he might try to overcompensate and be extra loving.
Either way, if you have a sneaking suspicion that something is up and your partner is acting ‘weird’ around you, it’s worth paying attention to.
4. You Catch Him on His Phone in The Middle of The Night
If you’ve caught your partner on his phone in the middle of the night, this is a sign that he’s talking to someone that he doesn’t want you to know about.
And probably someone he misses and can’t spend the night without speaking to them!
If you’ve caught him on his phone late at night, you’re right to pay attention to how long he’s on his phone and what he says if you mention it.
5. He’s Super Secretive About His Phone
Along with being on his phone in the night, if your partner is being secretive about his phone it’s not a good sign.
If he’s also spending more time on his phone, taking it with him everywhere he goes and being more protective over it than usual, this could be a sign that he’s cheating on you.
This is one of the most common signs that a partner is cheating, there shouldn’t be anything he feels the need to hide from you.
6. He’s Taking Way More Pride in His Appearance
If your partner is taking way more pride in his appearance, this could be a sign that he’s trying to impress someone.
He may have told you it’s for you, or it might be the woman he’s cheating on you with.
Either way, if he’s putting in more effort than usual to look good it’s a sign that he cares about impressing someone.
7. He Won’t Let You Meet Any of His Coworkers
You are right to be suspicious if your man keeps his work and personal lives completely separate.
It’s not healthy or normal for him to not want you to meet any of his coworkers, especially if you’ve been together for a while.
It’s another sign that he’s trying to hide something, and it may well be that he knows if you meet his coworkers someone will tell you what he’s been up to.
8. He’s Very Defensive When You Ask Him About His Coworkers
If your man gets defensive when you ask him about his coworkers or work in general, that’s another sign that he has something to hide.
It’s possible that he’s just private or doesn’t like talking about work, but he shouldn’t get defensive or try to shut the conversation down.
This is a sign that there’s something he doesn’t want you to know and he finds it easier to try and stop you from overlapping with his work life.
9. He’s Started Letting You Down Last Minute
If your partner is canceling plans with you or letting you down at the last minute on a more regular basis, it’s a sign that his priorities are shifting from you to someone – or something – else.
Maybe he uses work as his excuse or he’s coming up with a wide range of excuses, whatever it is I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s not a good feeling to keep coming second.
10. He’s Not Making Any Effort With You When You Go Out
If when you do go out with your partner he’s not making any effort to make you feel special and wanted, this is a sign that he’s not as interested in you as he once was.
I’m sure you remember what it felt like when you were close and things were going well, how does that stack up to what you’re feeling now?
If you’re not enjoying his company, that’s a sign that something is wrong, it’s just a matter of what it is.
11. He Always Showers as Soon as He Gets Home
If your partner is showering as soon as he gets home, this could be a sign that he’s trying to wash away any scents or evidence that he’s been unfaithful.
It’s not a good sign, and is one of the classic signs of cheating that you should definitely pay attention to.
12. He’s Asking You How You Think Your Relationship Is Going
This is one of the ways a cowardly man tries to make you feel like something is wrong with your relationship to give him an easy out.
If he’s constantly asking you how you think your relationship is going or what you want from it, this is a sign that he’s not happy and is looking for a way to end things.
He probably wants you to say that you’re not happy because he doesn’t have the nerve to say it himself first.
13. You Can’t Get Hold of Him Sometimes
If you’re struggling to get hold of your partner sometimes, this is a sign that he’s busy doing something and can’t get to the phone.
Or he might just be outright ignoring you.
Sure, there could be an innocent reason such as he’s in a meeting or driving, but if you’re already suspicious that he’s cheating it’s another red flag.
14. He’s Getting His Excuses Mixed Up
When someone lies about what they’ve been doing and where they’ve been it gets difficult to keep track of all of their stories over time.
If your partner is starting to get his excuses mixed up, this is a sign that he’s cheating.
He might not even realize that he’s doing it, but it’s a dead giveaway that something is going on if you know his stories are changing over time.
15. He Won’t Commit to Long-Term Plans with You
If your man’s heart is no longer in the relationship he might find it difficult to commit or talk about long-term plans with you.
This might be his subconscious – or deliberate – way of telling you that he doesn’t see a future with you.
It’s definitely not a good sign and something you should pay attention to.
16. He Complains About Being Broke
If your partner is always complaining about being broke but is working a lot and you’re not seeing him spending his money, this is a sign that he’s spending his money on someone else.
Maybe he’s taking her out for dinner or buying her gifts, but whatever it is he’s not being truthful with you about where his money is going.
17. He’s Suddenly Interested in New and Different Things
When someone meets someone else that they want to impress and enjoy spending time with they take an interest in their hobbies and interests.
Pretty much like when the two of you first got together, right?
So, if he’s suddenly interested in new things that he’s never shown an interest in before it might be because he wants to impress or share those things with someone at work.
18. He’s Always Picking Faults in You
When a man is cheating he’ll often start picking faults in you to make himself feel better about his own behavior.
He might say things like you’re not paying enough attention to him or that you don’t make enough effort in the relationship.
It’s all part of his plan to make you feel like you’re not good enough so that he has an excuse to cheat and in his own mind it helps him justify his behavior.
19. He’s Not Seeing His Friends and Family as Often Because He’s so ‘Busy’
If your partner is suddenly too busy to see his friends and family as often as he used to, it sounds like he’s spending that time with someone at work instead.
When his inner circle of friends are telling you that they miss him, and you’re not seeing him enough, it’s a huge red flag that he’s prioritizing his time elsewhere.
20. You Can Just Feel in Your Gut that He’s Cheating
Sometimes you can just feel it in your gut that something is going on, and usually, if you have that feeling, you’re right.
If you have a sinking feeling that he’s cheating on you then trust your instinct and start paying attention to the signs.
It might be hard to face up to the truth, but it’s better to know for sure than spend your time worrying about something that might not be happening.
The best thing you can do is just ask him outright, there is always a chance that he might be honest and tell you if he’s cheating.
This will also put him on high alert if he is cheating and doesn’t want to tell you, I’m sure you’ll notice a change in his behavior if he has something to hide.
Image credits – Photo by TheStandingDesk on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.