Workplace crushes are pretty common, and there is often a happy ending.
But sometimes, a workplace crush can be complicated, especially if one or both of you are married.
Still, that doesn’t stop someone from having a crush on a coworker, and it doesn’t mean anything will come of it.
But it still helps if you can tell for sure that a married coworker is crushing on you and not just being nice.
To help you out, here are 20 of the most obvious married coworker crush signs to look out for:
20 Married Coworker Crush Signs to Lookout For!
1. They Always Want to Be Near You
Married or not, if a coworker is always finding ways to be near you or sitting next to you at work, it’s probably because they like you.
Depending on your working environment, this could mean things like:
- Wanting to carpool with you
- Eating lunch at the same time as you and sitting near you
- Grabbing the nearest chair to you in meetings
- Stopping by your desk “just to chat”
Of course, this could also just be a coincidence or because they genuinely enjoy your company.
But if you notice that they go out of their way to be near you, it’s a strong sign that they have a crush on you!
2. They Find Excuses to Ask You Work-Related Questions
We all need help from our coworkers from time to time, but if a married coworker is constantly asking you for help, it might not just be because they’re struggling with their work.
More often than not, they’re probably looking for an excuse to talk to you!
If they keep coming to you with questions that could easily be answered by someone else – or you think they already know the answer – it’s a pretty strong sign.
3. They Ask You Personal Questions
Work colleagues will usually progress to finding out things about one another as friendships develop.
But there is a difference between a ‘friendly’ chat and showing a genuine interest in coworkers and their private life because you like them.
If a married coworker is asking personal questions and crossing that line, you can’t rule out that they have a crush on you or similar.
4. They Ask You to Hang out On Your Lunch Breaks
Ah, the office lunch break, it’s legendary for being the time and place where friendships and romantic interests have blossomed.
If a coworker is always asking you to hang out over lunch, getting close to you, asking personal questions, etc. you have to question why.
Do they like you? Are they just lonely? Do they have a crush on you?
Look for more signs and body language cues and I’m sure you’ll be able to figure it out.
5. You Catch Them Looking at You a Lot
This is a classic sign a guy or a girl has a crush on you – you catch them staring or gazing at you across the office.
Hopefully, it’s not staring to the point where it’s creepy, but if you notice that they regularly look your way and make eye contact, it’s a good sign!
Of course, this could also just be because they’re interested in what you’re saying or doing.
But if they continue to look at you even when you’re not speaking or doing anything interesting, it’s a strong sign that they have feelings for you.
6. They Laugh at Everything You Say
Laughing is a great way to show someone that you like them, and someone with a crush might not even realize that they’re laughing at everything you do and say.
It might not be genuine, but if a coworker is constantly laughing at your jokes – even the bad ones – it’s definitely because they have a crush on you!
It’s pretty easy to test this one, too, just saying something remotely funny and see how they react compared to your other coworkers!
7. They Leave You Little Notes
This is a bit of a red flag when someone is married, especially if the notes are very personal and flirty.
But if a coworker is leaving you thoughtful little notes, it’s definitely because they like you.
The question is – why?
Do they want to be friends? Do they want something more?
It might take some time to figure out, but pay attention to the tone and content of the notes and I’m sure all the clues are there right in front of you.
8. They Have Given You – and Only You – Gifts
Gifting is a great way to show someone you like them, and if a married coworker has given you gifts – especially if they’re personal or romantic in nature – it’s definitely because they have feelings for you.
This one can be tricky to navigate, though, so make sure you tread carefully.
If the gifts are too personal, it might be crossing the line into inappropriate territory, so you’ll have to use your best judgment here.
9. You Can Tell They’re Nervous Around You
This is always a giveaway that someone has a crush, fancies, or really likes someone – they’re obviously nervous around you.
This could mean they’re fidgeting, they can’t make eye contact, they’re blushing, or they might even be sweating!
It’s not the most attractive trait, but it’s definitely a sign that a married coworker is interested in you.
10. They Follow You to The Water Cooler
The office water cooler… a meeting place where employees chat, hang out, fall out, gossip, and many crushes have started and ended!
If you have a water cooler where you work or something similar where people hang out, someone with a crush would take advantage of this opportunity.
If the same person keeps bumping into you at the meeting place in your workplace, it’s time to start paying attention to whether or not it’s a coincidence!
11. They Borrow Your Stuff
This is a great way to get to know someone better and give yourself a reason to see them again.
If a coworker is constantly borrowing your stuff – from paper clips to books to maybe even personal items – it’s definitely because they want to be around you more.
And if they’re returning the favor by offering to lend you things, too, that’s an even bigger sign!
12. They Compliment You on Your Work Achievements
We all love getting compliments, and if someone is regularly complimenting you on your work achievements, it’s a good way to show that they’re interested in you.
Of course, this could also just be because they love your work or think you’re really good at what you do.
But if the compliments are excessive or overly personal, it’s a step further than most coworkers are going to go unless they have an interest in you.
13. They Compliment You on How You Look
This is one step further and it’s certainly not the norm for coworkers to compliment each other on personal things like their looks.
It’s even less unlikely for a married coworker to do this, so if they’re constantly telling you how good you look – even on days when you don’t feel like you look your best – you can assume they’re flirting!
14. They Tell You That They’d Hate It if You Left Your Job
This is a pretty big sign, and it’s one that you should definitely take notice of.
If someone tells you that they’d hate it if you left your job or their team, it’s a way of saying that they love seeing you all the time.
It might not be an outright declaration of love, but it’s still a very telling sign that seeing you is an important part of their day-to-day life.
15. They Suggest Meeting Up Out of Work
This is a sign that your crush wants to take things to the next phase, and that’s meeting up outside of work.
With them being married, this is something you need to think about very carefully.
I’m not suggesting you can’t be friends with married coworkers, but if they have a crush on you it can potentially become an explosive situation when you take it outside of work.
16. Other Coworkers Are Telling You It’s Obvious They Like You
Of course, you don’t have to take the word of your coworkers at face value and it’s possible they’re just engaging in office gossip.
But if a lot of people are telling you that it’s pretty obvious a married coworker has a crush on you – maybe even their spouse has said something! – then it’s probably true.
17. They Remember Cute Little Things About You
Do they remember exactly how you like your coffee, the name of your dog, or when your birthday is?
If they remember all these little things about you that you’ve only ever told them in passing conversation, it’s a sign that they’re interested in you and are paying attention to what you say.
It might seem like a small thing, but it’s actually a pretty big deal coming from someone you work with and aren’t friends with outside of work.
18. They Fish for Details About You from Coworkers
Having a crush typically means the person with the crush doesn’t want you to find out, so they’ll do a lot of their crushing from a distance.
One of the easiest ways to do this in a workplace is to go through other coworkers.
If a married coworker is constantly asking your coworkers questions about you or trying to get information from them, it means they want to know more about you but don’t want you to know.
19. They’ve Told You They Have a Crush on You!
This is an obvious one, but you can’t rule out your crush telling you they have a crush on you.
The kicker here is that they might not say it explicitly, or they might say it in a joking way – but it may have happened.
If you’re not sure, try and think back to any conversations you’ve had where they might have let slip that they like you.
20. You Can Feel the Tension Between the Two of You
This is a bit more of an intangible sign, but if you feel like there’s a lot of tension between the two of you – even if you think it’s just in your imagination – it might be because there are unresolved feelings.
Of course, this could also be because you have a crush on them and are feeling nervous around them!
But generally speaking, when someone has a crush we can just feel it if we take the time to really look for the signs – which is what you’re doing by reading this post.
Our guts and intuition are often right. At the very least, it’s worth paying attention and listening to those feelings!
Image credits – Photo by TheStandingDesk on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.