In this article, I’m looking at ways how to get over a coworker you slept with. Don’t worry, you’re not the first person to find yourself in this situation, neither will you be the last!
Office romances and flings are common, they really are. In fact, a survey carried out by Vault.com found that 58% of respondents had been involved in an office romance at some point in their lives.
This could mean anything from a brief hook up, to full-on romance with a happy ending.
But the facts are that office romances, flings, whatever you want to refer to your own situation as happen.
We spend a lot of our time working, surrounded by work colleagues. It’s really no surprise, is it?
The unfortunate part is that if it doesn’t work out or you instantly regret it, you’re still going to see that person at work and it can be awkward.
If that’s the situation you find yourself in right now, hopefully, I can help. Here are some tips to help you get over a coworker you slept with and make the best of the situation:
Talk Openly About It – Sooner Rather Than Later
There is no better way to deal with an awkward situation or confront an issue than to talk about it.
Obviously, that’s often easier said than done. Both of you need to be willing to talk it out, you need to be on the same page, and you both need to get to the same outcome for it to really work.
You may not be able to get the time – or one of you may not be willing or on the same page – so don’t worry if it’s not possible.
Talking about it and getting everything out in the open should always be your first choice though. The sooner you do it the better too, you can avoid all those awkward moments in the meantime.
Related – 11 Signs Your Coworker Has Feelings for You!
Don’t Ignore Them and Pretend Like It Didn’t Happen
It’s also a bad idea to ignore the person and pretend as if nothing has happened, you not going to kid them – or yourself.
I know the working dynamic makes it more difficult to deal with. You probably don’t want it to be obvious to your other coworkers that something happened.
It’s just not a professional thing to do, even if you’re not bothered by what other people think.
It’s great if you can talk it out as I covered in the first point. But if that’s not an option, make sure you always come across like it’s an option.
Try and Be Friends – Especially if You Have to Work Closely
I’m not sure why you want to get over them. Maybe you have to as you’re in a relationship, maybe it’s because they are, whatever it is, if you can enter the “friends zone” it’ll make things easier.
A lot of people either try to ignore and avoid the person in question or become hostile as a way to push them away.
The problem is that both of these approaches just make it even more awkward and difficult when you do see them. It’s also likely to make it more obvious to coworkers that something is going on between the two of you.
So, you don’t have to talk it out in-depth, you can kind of meet in the middle. Agree to be amicable and friendly, and you’ll see that you get over them quicker this way.
Don’t Beat Yourself up About It
We tend to blame ourselves as a way of dealing with guilt or trying to put something behind us.
It’s a natural human behavior, but it’s negative and leads to self-loathing, gets us down, and makes it harder to move on, not easier.
Whatever happened between you and your coworker and whatever the circumstances are right now, don’t blame yourself.
Even if it’s caused issues in your or their personal life, these things happen. The best thing you can do is learn from this experience and make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Try and Talk to People Outside of Work About It
It always helps to talk about things like this with close friends and family. It gets a little trickier when it involves someone at work, you need to make sure you don’t talk to anyone at work about it unless you can really trust them.
Work gossip can get ugly, I’ve seen it over and over again. The close working environment is a recipe for disaster, without emotions and feelings being added to the mix.
Use your support network outside of work to get unbiased opinions on what you should do to get over this person. Make time to separate yourself from work and all the drama going on.
Related – Obvious signs coworkers are hooking up.
Try Not to Work Closely With Them if It’s Difficult
I know I’ve said you should talk it out with them, be friendly, not avoid them, and so on – but if it’s just too painful or difficult, you may have to avoid them for a while.
This is particularly important if it’s affecting your work. The last thing you need is to get into trouble for a sub-par work performance on top of everything else you’re dealing with.
This is really dependent on your working situation, but if having some space and time to yourself is what you need you should try and arrange it.
Just remember though, if you never confront the situation and talk it out, it may hang over you and feel unresolved.
Give Yourself Time
The saying, “time heals all wounds” is so true when emotions are involved. If this is the first time you’ve found yourself in this situation, it may feel like the world is closing in on you.
But take it from someone with a wealth of experience, it’s going to get easier with time.
If you can also do some of the things I’ve already covered, you’re going to get over the situation with your coworker sooner.
Either way, time will make it easier, it really will.
Image credits – Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.