If you’re single (or married) is it OK if you’re talking to a married man everyday?
It depends on what you’re talking about, but as a general rule of thumb, it’s not the best idea in the long term.
If he’s talking to you every day, it sounds like something is missing from his life – and that something should be coming from his wife.
Here are 10 of the possible problems that come with talking to a married man every day and getting more and more involved with him:
10 Issues with Talking to A Married Man Everyday
1. You’re Forming an Emotional Connection with a Man Who is Taken
When you talk to someone every day, you almost certainly form an emotional connection of some kind.
You can’t avoid getting to know them on a deeper level and start to care about them.
When the person you’re talking to is married, they already have – or should have – that emotional connection with someone else – their spouse.
Getting involved with a married man means that you could be taking away the time and attention that should be going to his wife.
Whether that’s his doing or not, you shouldn’t be having deep and meaningful conversations that regular with a taken man.
2. It’s a Sign He’s Neglecting His Wife
If a man is talking to you every day, it’s a sign that he’s probably not giving enough attention to his wife.
He might be neglecting her emotionally or physically. Whatever his reasons are, you don’t want to be the other woman in a relationship going through difficulties.
It might not seem like a big deal to you, but if he’s spending all his time talking to you, it’s a sign that something isn’t right in his marriage.
And you don’t want to end up being the reason why.
3. Someone’s Going to Get Hurt Eventually
If you continue talking to a married man every day, someone is going to get hurt eventually – most likely his wife.
You might think that what you’re doing isn’t a big deal, but if he’s spending more time talking to you than he is with his wife, it’s only a matter of time before she starts to suspect something.
Even if nothing is actually going on between you two, the fact that he’s talking to you every day is bound to cause some problems in their relationship.
Just think about it from her side, how would you like it if your partner was talking to another man every day?
4. You’re Creating a Habit that Will Be Hard to Break
If you’ve ever had a friend you would talk to every day, I’m sure you know how it can easily become a habit that’s hard to break.
The same goes for talking to a married man every day. It’s easy to get into the habit of talking to him all the time, but it’s not something you should be doing.
It’s not fair to either of you, and it will only make it harder for both of you if his wife does find out and does not like him talking to you so much.
5. He Might Reveal Things You Don’t Want to Know
When you talk to someone every day, you inevitably start to share things about your life with them.
The same goes for him. If he’s talking to you every day, he might start sharing things about his life and marriage that you don’t want to know.
Do you really want to hear about his marital problems or the fights he has with his wife?
It’s a good idea to set boundaries about what you can and can’t talk about, but it’s hard when you’re one of few people he can confide in.
6. You’re Probably a Secret from His Wife
If you’re speaking with a married man this often, I’m sure you’re close. Close enough to ask him if his wife knows the two of you talk.
You may not want to know if she knows, but I think it’s something you should know as it helps you better understand his motivations.
It’s not uncommon for a married man to keep his relationships a secret from his wife.
But if that’s the case, it means he’s not being completely honest with either of you and that’s not a good foundation for any relationship.
7. He Might Be a Player Talking to Multiple Women
Something else I think you should consider, especially if you’re getting on well with him, is that he might be talking to other women as well.
I’m not saying this to make you paranoid, but it’s something you should keep in mind.
If he’s talking to you every day and being this attentive, chances are he might be doing the same with other women.
It’s not a nice thing to think that you’re being used or you’re not as special to him as he is to you, but it’s better to be aware of the possibility than to be blindsided by it later on.
8. You’re Stopping Yourself from Finding Someone Special
I’m not sure where you’re at right now in your love life, but there are a lot of people out there who would love to have a relationship with you.
But if you’re talking to a married man every day, you’re stopping yourself from finding someone special.
You might think that he’s the only one for you, but trust me, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
And you deserve to find someone who can give you the attention and time that you deserve, not someone who’s already taken and is using you to fill some of the holes in his marriage.
9. He Might Think You Have a Future Together if He Leaves His Wife
If a married man is talking to you every day, he might start to think that you have a future together if he ever leaves his wife.
And while that might be something you want, it’s not something you should be leading him on about.
If it’s absolutely not something you want, you should also make that clear to him.
These are just a couple of the possible issues that come with getting emotionally attached to a married man.
10. He Might Be Using You
You also have to face up to the fact that he’s using you for emotional support or something else.
It’s not a good feeling to think that someone is using you, but it’s something you should be aware of.
If he’s only talking to you because his wife isn’t around or he doesn’t feel like he can talk to her about certain things, then that’s not a healthy relationship.
You should be spending your time talking to people you reciprocate the time, thought, and affection you have to offer.
How Do I Stop Talking to A Married Man?
The longer you’ve been talking to him and the deeper the bond you’ve built, the harder it is going to be to break away.
But if you want to stop talking to a married man for any reason, here are a few tips on how to do it:
- Talk about your concerns with him and see if he’s willing to change the way he’s communicating with you. If not, it might be time to move on.
- Set some boundaries about how often you’re going to talk and what you’re going to talk about. This will help to prevent him from taking up too much of your time.
- Make sure you’re spending time with other people as well. This will help you remember that there are other people in the world who would love to have a conversation with you.
- Talk to someone you trust about your feelings and why you’re thinking about breaking away from the relationship. This will help you to get some outside perspectives on the situation.
- Finally, if you’ve made the decision to break away, do it calmly and politely. There’s no need to burn any bridges or make things more difficult than they need to be. Just politely say that you think it’s time to move on and end the conversation.
Should You Ask a Married Man if His Wife Knows He Talks to You?
If he’s starting to cross some boundaries and confide in you about personal things, I think it’s fair to ask him if his wife knows the two of you talk.
I wouldn’t make it awkward or say it in a judgemental way, rather I’d throw it into the conversation by saying something like, “I hope your wife knows how much you confide in me/talk to me/etc.”
Just be aware that if his wife doesn’t know, he might get defensive and say something like, “It’s none of her business who I talk to.”
In that case, you can reply with something like, “I understand that, but I just want to make sure she’s okay with it since we talk so often.”
This will help to set some boundaries and make sure you’re both on the same page. Hopefully, it’ll also give you some insights into why he’s talking to you.
Image credits – Photo by Conscious Design on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.