Does it feel like your husband compliments everyone else and not you?
Maybe it’s not just a feeling, if you can clearly see he’s more complimentary of everyone else then it’s going to make you feel unvalued.
It’s a sign that either he has some issues or there are issues in your relationship.
It’s certainly something that you shouldn’t put up with, you should be his main priority and feel loved, valued, and appreciated.
Here are reasons why your husband compliments other people more than you and what you can do to change his behavior:
Husband Compliments Everyone But Me! 10 Reasons to Explain His Behavior
1. He’s Trying to Make You Jealous
This is a passive-aggressive way some guys will try and get your attention.
He’s hoping that by making you feel left out, you’ll start paying more attention to him.
Unfortunately, as I’m sure you’re aware it usually has the opposite effect and just creates distance between the two of you.
If you think your husband is trying to make you jealous, call him out on it and tell him you’re not going to put up with his behavior.
It’s time he started prioritizing you and making sure you’re happy, that’s what will encourage you to do the same back – not by making you feel jealous.
2. He Doesn’t Realize He’s Doing It
This is really giving your husband the benefit of the doubt and I can appreciate it’s going to be a stretch for most women.
But it’s worth considering that he might not actually be aware that he’s complimenting everyone else more than you.
It could just be a habit he’s fallen into and once you point it out to him, he’ll start making more of an effort to equal things up.
3. He Has a Roaming Eye for Other Women
If your husband is always complimenting other women, in particular, then it’s a sign that he has a wandering eye.
It might not necessarily mean he’s going to act on it or that he’s cheating, but it is something you need to talk to him about.
It could just be that it makes him feel good to get attention from other women and it’s you he loves, but it’s still inappropriate behavior that he shouldn’t be doing.
4. He Wants to Be Liked by Everyone
There could be a more innocuous reason for why your husband is always complimenting everyone else and that’s because he wants to be liked by everyone.
It might be that he is dealing with his own insecurities and lack of self-esteem and gets lifted up by attention from other people.
Or, it might just be a superficial thing and it makes him feel good to compliment people and see how much they appreciate it.
5. He’s Not Feeling Good About Your Relationship
On the back of trying to make you feel jealous or flirting with other women, your husband might not be as invested in your relationship as you are – or think he is.
He might be complimenting other women as a way of making himself feel better and giving you subtle signs that he’s willing to compliment other people and not you.
It’s not a nice feeling and it’s not the right way for your husband to express how dissatisfied he feels.
If you think this is why he’s complimenting other people and not you, you need to have a serious talk with your husband and get him to open up.
6. He Finds It Difficult to Express His Feelings Towards You
It might be that your husband loves and appreciates you but finds it difficult to express his feelings to you and easy to express his feelings to others.
This could be for any number of reasons – he might think you don’t want to hear it, he might not be good at expressing himself, or he might worry about how you’ll react.
Whatever the reason, it’s something you need to talk about with him and try and find a way to help him feel more comfortable expressing his feelings towards you and complimenting you as much as everyone else!
7. He Wants to Be Popular
There could be a more light-hearted reason for your husband’s behavior and that’s because he just wants to be (more) popular.
Let’s be honest, it feels good to give and receive compliments, and it’s one of the easiest ways to make new friends!
If your husband is trying to be more popular, it’s not a bad thing, but you might want to have a talk with him about why he feels the need to attract attention to himself and make more friends.
8. His Ego Feeds on Compliments Coming Back at Him
If your husband loves compliments, he’s not alone – most people do!
However, some people are needier when it comes to compliments and they know that the best way to get more compliments is to give more out.
If your husband has an ego that feeds off of compliments, this could explain why he’s going around complimenting other people.
As for the reason why he doesn’t compliment you, there is no real excuse for it but it’s probably because he knows you’re not going to stroke his ego enough!
9. He Doesn’t Know It Makes You Feel Bad
This is another way of giving your husband the benefit of the doubt if you want to think that he’s not deliberately or knowingly trying to offend you.
It might be that he genuinely doesn’t know that complimenting other people and not you makes you feel bad.
He might think that you know how he feels about you and that you don’t need to hear it, or even that seeing him complimenting other people makes you feel good.
Whatever his reasoning is, until you’ve told him how it makes you feel it’s not fair to have a go at him without giving him an option to explain himself and change his behavior.
10. It’s Just Who He Is!
If you’re a long-suffering spouse who has put up with seeing your husband dishing out compliments since you’ve known him, you might have to accept that it’s just who he is.
You can blame it on his ego, search for reasons to explain it, and generally try and find a way to explain why he behaves like this.
But the bottom line – as frustrating as it is – might be none of the above and can only be chalked up to ‘who he is’!
Related – Do you hate it when your husband is home? Here’s what you can do about it.
Communication Is Everything – Speak with Your Husband About It!
If you’re not happy with how your husband compliments everyone but you, you have to speak with him about it.
It’s not going to change itself and you’re not going to be able to reason with him or make him see how it makes you feel if you don’t talk to him about it.
The best way to go about it is to be honest with him and explain how you feel when he compliments other people and not you.
You might be surprised by his reaction or what he says, you never know.
But without confronting him, you really will never know.
Once you’ve made it clear how his behavior makes you feel, if he doesn’t start to change his ways and show you more appreciation and prioritize making you feel special, the problem is a lot deeper.
Image credits – Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.