If you find yourself saying; ‘I hate it when my husband is home!’ You need to make some serious changes.
No one should be in a position where they hate having their husband at home or being around them.
I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that something needs to change, and soon.
Here are some steps you need to follow to figure out what to do next if you’re in this position:
1. Ask Yourself Why You Feel This Way About Your Husband
The first step is to ask yourself why you hate it when your husband is home.
You may feel like you know, but it still helps to write down all the reasons you feel like this and some of the emotions and feelings you get.
Are you feeling suffocated? Are you bored? Do you feel like he doesn’t understand or appreciate you?
Do some soul searching and be really honest with yourself.
This will help you address the issues at the root of the problem and give you the best possible chance of resolving the issues.
2. Don’t Let Your Hatred Damage Your Health
Being angry and harboring hate for someone – especially your husband – means you’re holding on to negative feelings.
These feelings can damage your mental and physical health, so it’s important to address them as soon as possible.
It’s important you talk to your doctor if you’re struggling to cope with your feelings or if you’re having trouble sleeping, eating, or concentrating as a result.
It’s also important to find an outlet for your anger so you don’t take it out on your husband.
This could be through exercise, writing, or talking to a friend or therapist. Find something that works for you.
You’ll never be able to work on your marriage if you’re constantly angry.
3. Figure Out If You Want to Save Your Marriage
Again, this is something you need to spend a lot of time thinking about and make a decision because of the right reasons.
Not because you think you should or because you think it’s what everyone else wants.
You need to decide if this is something you want for yourself.
If you don’t think there’s any hope for your marriage, it may be time to consider divorce.
This is a difficult decision to make, but sometimes it’s for the best.
If you want to save your marriage, both you and your husband need to be willing to put in the work.
4. Have a Crisis Talk With Your Husband
The first step to working on your feelings about having your husband home is to talk openly with him about it.
This is a difficult conversation to have, but it’s absolutely necessary and you need to be as open as possible.
Tell him how you’re feeling, why you think you feel this way, and what your needs are.
You need to be on the same page if you’re going to move forward and make changes.
If he says he’s committed to working on your marriage and he wants you to be happy, believe him and give him a chance.
It’s going to take time, but it’s possible to turn things around.
5. Set Some Ground Rules Going Forward
The next step is to set some ground rules for how things are going to be from now on.
This could include things like making more time for date nights, communicating better, or getting help with the housework.
Whatever the reasons are for you being so unhappy, those are the things you need to address together.
It’s important you’re both on board with these changes and that you stick to them.
Making small changes can make a big difference in how you feel about your husband and your marriage and it can really set some momentum in motion.
6. Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Professional Help
This is a step that a lot of couples are afraid of or just not willing to take, but it can literally be make or break for your marriage.
If you’re struggling to communicate or just not sure how to move forward, professional help can be invaluable.
A therapist can help you work through your feelings and figure out how to address the issues in your marriage.
It can be a difficult process, but it’s worth it if it means saving your marriage.
7. Work on Yourself and Your Own Happiness
It’s easy to get caught up with all of the emotions and experiences going on in your marriage and forget about taking care of yourself.
But if you’re not happy, it’s going to be very difficult to make your marriage happy.
You need to work on your own happiness and make sure you’re taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically.
This means making time for things you enjoy, staying healthy, and getting regular exercise.
It’s important to remember that you’re not totally responsible for your husband’s happiness, but you are responsible for your own.
When you’re happy, it’s easier to be positive and make your marriage a happy place.
8. Be Honest and Realistic About Your Expectations
One of the biggest problems in marriages is unrealistic expectations.
We expect our spouses to be mind readers, always know what we need, and never make any mistakes.
This is just not realistic and it sets us up for disappointment.
Instead, we need to be honest about our expectations and communicate them to our spouses.
We also need to be realistic about what they can and cannot do.
If we can manage our expectations, it will go a long way in making our marriages happier.
At the same time, if you can’t get what you want out of your marriage to make yourself happy, you need to consider walking away.
9. Fight for Your Marriage if It Means Enough to You
If you really want to save your marriage, you’re going to have to fight for it.
This means being willing to put in the hard work, being open to change, and being committed to making things work.
It’s not going to be easy, but it will be worth it if you can come out the other side with a happy and healthy marriage.
It’s up to you to decide if your marriage is worth fighting for.
Only you know what’s best for you.
10. Be Willing to Leave Your Husband if You Can’t Find Happiness
This is tough as there is a lot more to getting a divorce than simply splitting from your spouse.
It’s a messy situation and there is often a large fallout with a ripple effect, but you have to keep in mind what’s best for you in the long term.
You can’t stay with your husband if you still hate it when he is at home, and you can try to simply put your feelings to the side.
You deserve to be happy, and the only way you’ll find that is by taking yourself out of the situation that is making you unhappy.
I hope this helps and that you can find some happiness in your marriage. If you’re struggling, please don’t be afraid to seek professional help.
It can make a world of difference.
And finally, be honest with yourself about your expectations and be willing to fight for your marriage if it means enough to you.
If you’re not happy, don’t be afraid to leave your husband in search of happiness. You deserve it. Good luck!
Image credits – Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.