You should never have to put up with being disrespected by someone, and certainly not by one of your husband’s friends.
If you’ve found yourself in this situation, I feel for you.
It’s important you’re able to speak up and do something about it, ideally with the support of your husband!
Here are some of the signs you’re being disrespected, and what you should do when your husband’s friend disrespects you:
My Husband’s Friend Disrespects Me – Here’s What to Do!
I can’t speak on your own situation, but here are some of the most common forms of disrespect a spouse’s friend will usually do:
- They’ll openly flirt with you or make inappropriate comments, whether it’s in person or online.
- They’ll ignore you or give you the cold shoulder when you’re around them.
- They’ll talk about you behind your back, often to your husband.
- They might also try to one-up you or put you down in conversation.
- They will do things – or get your husband to do things – they know you’ll not approve of.
If you’re experiencing any of these things, then it’s time to take action!
Related – How often should your husband hang out with his friends?
5 Ways to Stop Your Husband’s Friends from Disrespecting You
1. Talk to Your Husband About It
The first and most important thing to do is to talk to your husband about his friend’s behavior and how it’s making you feel.
He might not be aware of how his friend is treating you, and he needs to know so he can do something about it.
If he is aware but is not doing anything about it, that’s where you need to put your foot down and make it clear he has to.
You should never have to put up with being treated disrespectfully, and your husband needs to be on your side in this.
If he’s not, that’s a separate issue itself!
2. Talk to His Friend and Tell Him It’s Not Acceptable
If your husband is unwilling or unable to speak to his friend about their behavior, then you’ll need to do it yourself.
It might be awkward, but it’s important you stand up for yourself and this step will put a stamp on putting a stop to his disrespect.
Tell him firmly but politely that his behavior is not acceptable and that you expect him to stop.
If he doesn’t, then you have every right to distance yourself from him – and your husband should too if he supports you.
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away from Toxic Situations
If you’re in a situation where his friend is being disrespectful and your husband isn’t doing anything about it or isn’t present, then don’t be afraid to walk away.
You don’t need to put up with that kind of behavior from anyone, let alone someone who is supposed to be your friend too.
It might not be easy, but it’s going to send him a strong message that you’re not just going to stand there and put up with his abusive nature.
4. Don’t Let It Get You Down
This is often easier said than done, but it is important that you take a step back and ask yourself how you can not let this person’s behavior get to you.
There’s a difference between someone who is just being rude and someone who is deliberately trying to disrespect you.
The former can be dealt with by ignoring them, but the latter requires more action on your part as discussed above.
Try not to take it personally when it’s clear this person is just out to get under your skin – that’s the desired effect bullies are after.
5. Set Some Healthy Boundaries
In some cases, it might be best to just distance yourself from the person who is disrespecting you, even if they look like they’re changing.
You don’t need to completely cut them out of your life if they’re friends with your husband, but you can set some healthy boundaries.
This might mean not being around them as much or avoiding situations where you know they’ll be.
It’s up to you how many contacts you have with them, but remember it’s okay to put your own well-being first.
Why Are Some People Disrespectful to Others?
There are many reasons why someone might be disrespectful to others, but often it’s because they feel like they can get away with it.
It could be a power play to make themselves feel better or because they think it’s funny.
In some cases, it might just be the way they were raised and they don’t know any better.
Then there is the classic bullying reason, they have low self-esteem and feel bigger when they’re making other people feel bad.
Whatever the reason, it’s not an excuse for their behavior and you shouldn’t have to put up with it.
Related – Is your husband moody all the time and shows off with his friends?
Can Disrespectful People Change?
It’s possible for disrespectful people to change, of course it is – but it’s not always likely if I’m honest.
If they’ve been behaving that way for a long time, it’s going to be a hard habit to break.
They might also not see anything wrong with the way they’re treating you and think you’re overreacting.
A lot of people who are disrespectful to others are either aware because they are deliberately doing it, or have a sense of self-entitlement and think it’s OK.
So, they have more to do than just realize they’re being rude and stop. They have some things to work on deeper into their character.
The best thing you can do is just take care of yourself, set some boundaries, and distance yourself if you need to.
It’s not your job to try and change them, especially if they’re just a friend of your husband.
Image credits – Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.
1 thought on “My Husband’s Friend Disrespects Me (Here’s How to Handle It)”
My husband never did do anything about it with his friend. It blew up!!! He showered him with all ”love you man” and “you’re my family” messages.
It was not until I messaged my husband and his friend that they talked. Then they talked more about how this is a riff in our marriage…
I feel betrayed that my husband values this friend so much it has been made acceptable that I’m treated this way.
Not sure what to do. Definitely hurts.