How often should your husband go out with friends and when does it become a problem?
If your husband is going out with his friends all the time and leaving you feeling lonely and stressed out at home, you need to talk to him.
It’s healthy to have some time away from each other, but it shouldn’t get to the point where you’re feeling neglected.
Here is a look at how often your husband should be going out, how it’s affecting your relationship, and how to talk to him about it:
How Often Should Your Husband Go Out With Friends?
There is no set answer in terms of how many days a week your husband should go out with friends, and it’s always going to be different for different couples.
But what I can tell you is that if your husband is going out so often that you’re feeling lonely or neglected, it sounds like it’s too often.
There is a caveat to this, however, and that is that some women just don’t like their husbands going out at all.
It’s healthy for your relationship for the both of you to go out and spend some time apart with friends.
So, it’s about finding that balance where both of you find the time to go out and hang with friends, but neither of you feels like you’re being neglected!
Why Is It Healthy for Couples to Go Out Separately?
It can actually be really healthy for couples to go out separately and have some time apart.
It gives you both a chance to miss each other and appreciate each other more when you’re together.
It also allows you to both have some independence, which is important in any relationship.
We all need friends, and our friends need us, too.
It shouldn’t be a 100% exclusive thing, you should both also introduce your friends to one another, but it’s perfectly fine to spend time apart and with friends.
Couples shouldn’t spend every moment together, no matter how in love you are and how much you love each other’s company.
That’s only going to wear thin over time and lead to resentment.
It’s so important to have that time apart to miss each other and come back together with a fresh perspective.
How Many Days a Week Should Your Husband Go Out With Friends?
As I said, there is no right or wrong answer to this question.
Obviously, I can tell you that almost every day is a problem. As is your husband just dropping everything and suddenly going out without much notice.
These are signs that he’s not valuing and respecting you, and it’s a red flag that he doesn’t appreciate you as he should.
On the other hand, if he wants to go out 1-2 nights a week that’s perfectly reasonable.
Even if it makes you sad or annoyed because you don’t have friends to hang out with, you shouldn’t make him feel bad for it.
Instead, you should work on increasing your social circle and getting your own friends to go out with!
Do You Get Mad when Your Husband Goes Out?
It’s normal to feel a little bit jealous or left out when your husband goes out without you.
But if it’s making you so angry that you’re starting fights with him or giving him the silent treatment, that’s not healthy.
You need to communicate with your husband about how you’re feeling instead of lashing out at him.
Talk to him about why you’re upset, explain that you feel neglected, and see if there’s a way to come up with a solution that works for both of you.
It’s so important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner if you want your relationship to last.
You should be happy for him if he has friends he loves spending time with.
It’s usually more of a reflection on the wife and her insecurities if she’s not happy with her husband going out.
How to Not Be Jealous of Husband’s Female Friends
If your husband’s friends are female, I can appreciate this is also adding to your anxiety about him going out.
You might be worried he’s cheating on you or that he gets on with his female friends more than you.
First of all, you need to trust your husband and know that if he’s cheating on you, it has nothing to do with the fact that his friends are female.
That’s on him and him alone.
Secondly, try not to be jealous of his female friends.
They can actually be a good thing for your relationship!
If he has female friends, it means he’s comfortable talking to women and that he can relate to them well.
This is a good skill to have in a husband as it shows he’s open-minded and understanding.
At the end of the day, you have to trust him until he gives you a reason not to.
Otherwise, you’re just going to come across as a jealous wife and this could end up pushing him away.
I know it’s not easy, and ideally, your husband should be sensitive to how you feel.
You could always speak with him openly about it and see what he says. As long as you’re not judgemental and don’t try to force him to change, I’m sure he’ll reassure you why it’s you he’s with and loves!
Image credits – Photo by James Sutton on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.