Are you asking yourself, ‘why do I attract guys with mommy issues?’
If so, it sounds like you’ve come to the realization that the guys you date have mommy issues and it’s ruining your relationships.
To avoid this in the future, you need to know how to spot guys who have mommy issues before things get too serious!
Here are 10 signs a guy has mommy issues and what you can do about it:
What Does It Mean When A Guy Has ‘Mommy Issues’?
When a guy has ‘mommy issues’ it’s not referring to anything around him falling out with his mom or some other issues directly related to his mother.
Mommy issues are when men display certain traits and behaviors linked to the relationship they have or had with their mothers and what they expect from their partners.
Most notably, Healthline states the following traits as clear signs of mommy issues:
- Having issues with trust in a relationship
- Finding it difficult to show their emotional or vulnerable side
- Having a strong need for affection from partners
- Finding it difficult to get along with their mothers in a traditional sense
- Being emotionally immature or struggling with relationship boundaries
- Having a habit of dating people with similar issues (this a clue as to why you attract men with mommy issues)
- Having relationship anxiety and finding it difficult to communicate their feelings
These are just some of the most common issues, there are also a number of other signs that might be specific to a particular guy.
But you’re almost certainly going to check off most of the things mentioned above when dating a guy with mommy issues.
10 Signs a Guy Has Mommy Issues!
If you always seem to end up dating a guy with mommy issues, you need to start looking for the signs before things get too serious!
Here are some classic signs to look out for:
1. He Doesn’t Get Along with His Mom and Doesn’t Want to Talk About It
There is no more obvious sign that a guy has mommy issues than if he doesn’t get along with his mom but can’t explain why.
Having mommy issues and how it affects a man’s relationship with his own mom is complex and he’ll find it hard to explain.
If a guy doesn’t have a good relationship with his mom it’s always a red flag.
When he doesn’t want to talk about it or can’t explain what the root cause is, it’s an even bigger red flag that there are some serious emotional issues there.
2. He Blows Hot and Cold with You
Guys who blow hot and cold have emotional issues and it often stems from their relationships with their mothers.
A guy with mommy issues will have a hard time showing his true emotions and he’ll often swing from one extreme to the other.
One minute he’ll be showering you with attention and affection and the next he’s ignoring you completely.
It’s an exhausting way to live and something I’m sure you’re aware of how difficult it is.
3. He Has Commitment Issues or Is a Commitment-Phobe
A guy with mommy issues is going to have a hard time being in a long-term, committed relationship.
It’s not that he doesn’t want to be, it’s that he’s afraid of getting too close to someone and being hurt.
His mom might have been emotionally unavailable or she might have left when he was younger and he’s projecting that fear onto you.
4. He Tends to Date Women a Lot Older than Him
A guy with mommy issues might try to find an older woman to date because he’s looking for someone who will take care of him.
Older women are often more patient and they understand what it takes to be in a long-term relationship and deal with the issues these guys have.
However, an older woman is also more likely to be in a position of power and that’s not always a good thing for a long-term relationship.
5. He’s Distant from You Emotionally
A guy will have a hard time being emotionally present in a relationship when he has mommy issues.
He might be there physically, but he’s not going to be able to share his feelings or be open and honest about what’s going on inside him.
This is something you’ll be able to pick up on before getting too deep into a relationship if you take your time to get to know a guy.
6. He Doesn’t Have a Lot of Friends
A guy with mommy issues typically doesn’t have a lot of friends, and in particular, doesn’t have many close friends.
This is because he finds it hard to connect with people on an emotional level.
He might have a lot of acquaintances but he doesn’t let people get too close because he’s afraid of being hurt.
7. He Does or Says Things that Aren’t Appropriate Around Women
Another red flag is if a guy says or does things that are inappropriate around women.
This is often because he’s trying to get attention or because he’s acting out in a way that’s a result of his mommy issues.
It can be anything from telling inappropriate jokes to making lewd comments or doing things that just aren’t normal.
8. He Has a History of Being Unfaithful
If you hear rumors or find out that a guy has a history of being unfaithful, this should always be a huge red flag.
It’s a sign that he has some emotional issues, and maybe a sign that he has deeper, mommy issues.
Either way, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that getting involved with a guy who has a history of cheating on his past partners isn’t a good idea.
9. He Needs to Be Mothered by His Partners
This is something that can be uncomfortable, frustrating, and puts a strain on relationships with guys that have mommy issues.
A guy who needs to be mothered by his partner is looking for someone to fill the role that his mother should have in his life.
This can manifest in different ways but typically it means he’s looking for someone to take care of him and be there for him emotionally.
This makes for an unbalanced relationship, which in simple terms means he’s going to expect more than he gives!
10. After Understanding What Mommy Issues Are You Just Get a Sense
Oftentimes you’ll just get a sense that a guy has mommy issues.
It’s hard to explain but you’ll just know.
Maybe he’ll say something that gives you a clue or maybe you’ll just get a sense from the way he interacts with other people.
If you’re someone who always seems to attract guys with mommy issues, I’m sure you’re starting to see patterns.
If you’re not sure, it’s always best to err on the side of caution and steer clear of guys with mommy issues!
Why Do I Attract Guys with Mommy Issues?
It’s hard to tell you exactly why you attract guys with mommy issues, but it’s certainly something to do with your type.
Maybe you’re attracted to guys who are a little bit lost or who need someone to take care of them.
Or, it could be that you’re attracted to guys who are emotionally unavailable or who have a hard time being emotionally present.
It’s also possible that you like being in the position of mothering and looking after a guy, which isn’t uncommon.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to be aware of why you’re attracted to these types of guys so that you can make a conscious decision about whether or not you want to continue pursuing them.
Education and understanding is the key, and I really hope that the information in this article has helped you to understand mommy issues a little bit better.
If you’re someone who usually attracts guys with mommy issues, I hope that this article has given you some insight into why that might be.
And, if you’re currently dating a guy with mommy issues, you should now better understand how to navigate the traits and behaviors of your man!
Image credits – depositphotos.com/stock-photo-couple-dating-at-night-in
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.