Having a crush can be an intense and complicated thing!
You like them, you want them, but in most cases you know you can’t have them, yet they are able to influence what you do and how you feel about them.
Sometimes a crush will know you like them and they’ll play on it to get you to do things for them or just because it makes them feel good!
If this is happening to you, you should try and distance yourself from them as you’re only going to end up feeling more frustrated and hurt.
To help you figure out where you stand, here are 15 signs your crush is leading you on and what you should do about it:
15 Signs Your Crush Is Leading You On
1. They Smile and Wink at You
When someone smiles or winks it always gives the impression that they are interested in you and/or that they’re trying to tell you something.
It’s a way of making the other person (you) feel good about yourself and that they like you, and I bet it works.
But what do they do to back this up?
If the answer is ‘nothing’, a wink or a smile is nice, but they’re really only doing it because they know you have a crush on them and are leading you on.
2. They Blow Hot and Cold with You
Blowing hot and cold is a classic way someone will lead someone else on, and it applies to your crush, too.
This could mean any number of things, such as talking to you one minute and not the next, being super-friendly then cold, and so on.
It’s a way of keeping you interested while also making sure you’re putting in some work while they’re playing hard to get.
3. They Ask You to Do Things for Them
If someone knows or suspects you have a crush on them, they’ll know that you’ll be willing to do things for them.
This could be anything from getting them coffee to just running general errands for them.
It’ll make you feel like you’re doing a good deed and getting closer to them when in reality they’re just taking advantage of your good nature.
4. They Tell You How Great You Are
It’s always nice to compliment someone and it’s a great way to get closer to them.
When your crush does this, however, they know they’re increasing your self-esteem and making you feel good about yourself so you’ll keep thinking about them.
It’s nice, but not something they should be doing if they’re unattainable to you.
5. They Follow You on Social Media But Don’t Talk About It
There is a huge disconnect nowadays between how people behave on social media and in real life, and it can be confusing.
If your crush follows, likes, and comments on your social media activity but doesn’t talk to you in person, they’re leading you on.
It’s a lot easier to be nice on social media than it is in person, but it’s a bit cowardly.
6. They Don’t Tell You About Their Private Life
I bet you want to know about your crush’s private life or just about anything to do with them.
They’ll know this, and if they’re leading you on they won’t share anything about their private life with you.
This is a way of making sure you’re kept at arm’s length and that you’ll never really know them, it also keeps you keen and stops you from getting too close.
7. They Are Interested in How You’re Doing
This is a weird one because sometimes a crush will act disinterested when they want to lead you on.
Other times, they’ll act interested in how you’re doing and what’s going on in your life as a way of making sure you’re still thinking about them.
It’s confusing, but if they’re constantly asking you how you are it might be a sign they’re leading you on.
8. They Act Jealous When You’re Around Other People
Jealousy is a sign of insecurity, but it can also be a way to make someone feel wanted.
If your crush is always getting jealous when you talk to or are around other people, it’s a way of making you think they like you and getting your attention.
It’s not a healthy way to behave, but it is a way of leading someone on.
9. They’re Flirty with You
Flirting is fun, if your crush flirts with you they know they’re leading you on.
It’s not fair to flirt with someone if you’re not interested in them, especially if you know they have a crush on you.
Flirting is a way of making someone think you like them without actually saying it, and it’s not a nice thing to do.
10. They Find Excuses to Make Physical Contact
Making physical contact with someone is a way of flirting and makes an even deeper connection.
If your crush does with you it’s safe to say they’re leading you on.
It could be anything from a hug to just brushing past you in the corridor, it’s a way of getting your attention and making you think that they’re into you.
11. They Ask You if You Like Them
This is another cruel way to play with your emotions as they know that you like them.
If your crush is leading you on they’ll ask you if you like them to bring up the feelings and emotions you have towards them, then leave you hanging.
It’s another way of toying with you and making sure they’re always on your mind.
12. They Always Suggest Hanging out But It Never Happens
Suggesting or saying you’re going to hang out, then never doing so is a classic way of leading anyone on.
It’s easy to do and it gets the other person excited about something that’s never going to happen.
It’s a way of stringing someone along and putting yourself in the driving seat, but as I’m sure you’ll agree it just toys with your emotions and leaves you feeling bad.
13. They Ask Your Friends About You
If your crush is constantly asking your friends questions about you it’s likely they’re leading you on.
They may want to know what you’re doing and what you think of them without asking you directly, but know your friends will tell you anyway.
14. They Keep Letting You Down
If someone is constantly letting you down or canceling plans at the last minute it never feels good, especially if you have a crush on them.
It’s a way of making you feel like you’re going to do something cool with them, only to be let down as you’re being strung along.
Then they know you’ll say yes the next time they ask because you really want to spend time with them.
15. You Just Get a Feeling that They’re Leading You On
Sometimes you just get a feeling that someone is leading you on, and usually, you’re right.
It might not be down to a single – or multiple – thing they’ve done, it’s just more of a gut feeling.
If your gut is telling you they’re leading you on, then they probably are.
The best thing to do in this situation is to talk to them about it and see what they say, or just distance yourself from them so you don’t get so hurt.
What Should You Do if Your Crush Is Leading You On?
If you think your crush is leading you on there are a few things you can do about it.
If they’re available, you could talk to them directly and ask them if they’re interested in you or not.
This can be a scary thing to do but it will give you some closure and might work out perfectly!
However, if they say they’re not interested then you can move on and stop wasting your time on them.
You could also just distance yourself from them, if they’re constantly leading you on it’s going to hurt your feelings in the end.
If they’re simply unattainable as most crushes are and are playing with your emotions by leading you on, you need to break away from them.
You deserve to be treated better than that and you deserve to be happy.
Start filling your time with other things you enjoy and don’t let them have that power over you anymore!
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.