If a guy you’re interested in or are already seeing thinks you’re out of his league, it’s going to either scare him away or make him insecure about your relationship.
It’s a tough issue to overcome as you need to help build his confidence and self-esteem while reassuring him that you don’t think you’re out of his league.
If you want to attract a guy who feels like this or strengthen your relationship, it’s important you’re able to spot the signs he thinks you’re out of his league and find the cause.
Here Are 15 Signs He Thinks You’re Out of His League!
1. You Come From Money
This is tough as it’s not your fault you come from money or your partner doesn’t – but it almost always has an effect on a relationship.
If you come from wealth, it’s possible it makes a guy feel intimidated and like he’s not in the same social class as you.
This can manifest as him feeling like you’re out of his league and that he wouldn’t be able to be the ‘provider’ or like you need him.
2. You’re More Educated Than He Is
If you’re more educated you are than your partner, the more likely he’ll feel insecure about seeming dumb in front of you.
It’s not uncommon for a guy to feel like he’s not on your level if you’re a lot smarter or accomplished than he is.
This often shows itself as him feeling like you’re out of his league and that he can’t relate to you on an intellectual level or won’t have much in common.
3. He Thinks You’re More Attractive than He Is
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all of that, but if you’re more attractive than he is – or at least he thinks so – this is one of the most common reasons why someone thinks another person is out of their league.
‘Leagues’ are often based on attractiveness or the overall ‘package’, and this is largely due to social and peer pressures.
It’s unfair, but it is what it is.
If he thinks you are way more attractive he’s going to think you’re out of his league or he’s ‘punching above his weight’.
4. You’re Super confident
Confidence is both one of the most attractive characteristics a person can have, and it’s also one of the most intimidating!
If you’re super confident, it’s likely your partner feels like he can’t compete with that or match your level – especially if he’s shy.
This is going to make it hard for him to relate to you and he’ll start to feel like you’re out of his league.
Being confident is a great thing, but if it’s making your guy feel insecure you need to help him build up his own confidence.
5. You Get Loads of Attention From Other Guys
This goes hand-in-hand with being attractive, confident, and all those other attractive characteristics that make someone take notice.
If you’re getting hit on a lot or have a ton of guys interested in you, it’s going to make your guy feel like he needs to step his game up – or that he can’t compete.
This can lead to him feeling jealous, intimidated, and like you’re out of his league.
6. You’re More Successful Than Him Professionally
Again, this comes down to him feeling like he can’t provide for you, isn’t as smart as you, or is inferior to you.
If you’re more successful than your guy – whether it’s professionally, with your hobbies, or in any other area of life – it’s likely he feels like you’re in a different league to him.
It’s a tough one to deal with in a relationship as you should never compromise on your dreams and goals, it’s up to him to step his up!
7. You’re Very Independent
Being independent is another positive characteristic, but it can make others around you feel intimidated or like they’re not needed.
This is especially true for guys who are used to being ‘the man’ or the one in charge.
If you’re too independent, he might feel like you don’t need him or that he can’t keep up with you.
This often leads to a feeling of being out of his depth or you’re ‘above’ him.
8. You’re Ambitious and He Isn’t
If you’re super ambitious and your guy isn’t it’s going to cause issues.
Being ambitious means you have things you’re chasing, goals you want to achieve, and dreams to chase.
Having a partner who is unmotivated and not ambitious will either hold you back or put a strain on your relationship.
He likely knows that just from looking in from the outside and will feel intimidated.
9. You’re Better Off Financially Than Him
Similar to the point about coming from a wealthy background being intimidating for a guy, the same applies if you’re earning more than him.
Financial inequity in a relationship is one of the major causes of arguments and issues.
It also makes guys feel like they can’t approach a girl if they’re not well off enough to wine, dine, and impress them!
Related – What it means when your ex ‘downgrades‘.
10. His Self-Esteem Is Lacking
The root cause for most guys thinking you’re out of their league is a lack of self-esteem.
If he doesn’t think he’s good enough, attractive enough, or interesting enough then it stands to reason he wouldn’t think you’d want to be with him.
This is a real problem and needs to be addressed before anything else can change.
There is only so much you can do to reassure him or help build his self-esteem and confidence, he really needs to want to work on this himself.
11. Your Parents Don’t Approve Of Him
This is another difficult bridge to cross and it can take some time or a different approach to work around.
If your parents don’t approve of him it’s going to make things harder and more complicated for the two of you to get along.
Naturally, it’s going to make him question if it’s because your parents think he’s not good enough for you.
12. He Doesn’t Have Anything In Common With Your Friends
Getting along with your friends is pretty important if you’re going to be seeing a guy.
If he doesn’t have anything in common with your friends, it’s going to make social gatherings and events difficult.
Maybe they’re open with him about why they can’t relate to him or maybe they’re not.
If the reason is because they think they’re better than him, then naturally he’s going to think that you feel the same as you get along well with them.
13. You Don’t Have Anything In Common With His Friends
The same applies on the flipside when looking at how well you get along with his friends.
If you don’t have anything in common with his friends is it because you’re in a very different stage of your life?
It’s not always easy to find common ground. Sometimes it’s justified, or it might just be how they perceive you and think you’re not in their league.
14. He’s Had A Troubled Past
If a guy has been in trouble with the law in the past or done some shady things and when he looks at you he sees an angel, it’s going to find it hard to relate.
He might think you’re out of his league as you’ll look down on him for his past, and this could make him feel like he can’t approach you at all.
15. People Have Asked What You See in Him
We can all get a little blinded by love sometimes and get carried away, but when people on the outside start telling us things it can be a wake-up call.
If other people are saying that you’re out of his league, he’s going to start believing them and questioning it himself.
We shouldn’t care what other people think, but unfortunately, it’s always something that’s hard to ignore.
If he starts to back off or question it himself, it means he’s listening to others instead of following his own heart and mind.
What Does It Mean When Someone Thinks You’re out Of Their League?
Just so that we’re on the same page, I’m going to define what it means when someone thinks you’re ‘out of their league’.
Basically, it means that they think you’re too good for them, and they would never be able to date or get with you.
They’ll see you as being way out of their depth and think that there’s no chance whatsoever.
It might be because you’re too good looking, have a great job, come from a wealthy family, or anything else that they perceive as being better than them.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re wrong, but it does give an insight into their own insecurities, confidence levels, and self-esteem.
Image credits – Photo by Team Fredi on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.