Are you thinking about or dating someone you’re not physically attracted to?
Can it really work out in the long term if you don’t have that strong physical attraction to someone?
The answer is yes!
Lots of people end up with someone that isn’t their ‘type’, and there are actually some positive benefits to dating someone you’re not attracted to.
Here are 10 reasons why some people date people they’re not physically attracted to and why it works so well!
10 Reasons Why Dating Someone You’re Not Physically Attracted To Works
1. You Are Drawn Together by Common Interests
You may find out you have more in common with someone if you’re not just drawn by their physical appearance and looks.
And, when you share interests and hobbies, it can be a great foundation for a relationship.
You can connect on a deeper level and really get to know each other without that initial physical attraction getting in the way.
It can be easy to write someone off if they don’t have that ‘spark’ physically, but getting to know them better could reveal a lot more than just a pretty face.
Related – How to handle your boyfriend being better looking than you.
2. You’ll Have a Stronger Bond than A Purely Physical One
A physical relationship can only take you so far, but if you’re not attracted to the person you’re dating and you’re drawn to them as a person, this is a much stronger connection.
One of the most common reasons for couples spitting is because they don’t have enough in common and drift apart.
This is much less likely in a relationship where you were attracted to someone for their personality than just their looks.
3. Looks Change Over Time, Personality Does Less So
Physical attraction is often based on superficial things like looks, what kind of shape they are in, and height.
But, these things (maybe not so much height) change over time.
The reality is that as we age, we may lose our hair, put on weight, and see other things change in our physical appearance.
However, if you are best friends with your partner and it was common interests and hobbies that brought you together, this is more likely to be a life-long thing.
4. You’ll Feel Less Self-Conscious About Your Own Looks
This might sound a little selfish, but it’s a valid reason why some people like dating partners that are not ‘stunners’ or attractive in the traditional sense.
If you yourself don’t feel confident in your own looks, it can be reassuring to date someone who isn’t a ‘head-turner’.
This way, you won’t constantly feel like you’re being compared to their level of attractiveness and fall short.
5. Physical Attraction Can Grow Over Time Anyway
Even if you don’t have that initial physical attraction to someone, it can grow over time.
If you give them a chance and get to know them better, you may find yourself attracted to things about them that you didn’t even realize were attractive.
It’s not always just about looks, but about the whole package – including personality, but there is a bond in familiarity, too.
I’m sure you’ve heard it said before, that some people are ‘growers’ and we become more physically attracted to them when the other parts of the relationship fall into place.
6. There Will Be Less Pressure on Your Partner to Always Look Their Best
When you’re not constantly drooling over your partner or in awe of their physical appearance, it means there’s less pressure on them to look good all the time.
I’m not suggesting you tell them you don’t think they’re hot, but there are certainly some couples who understand that they were not attracted to each other because they’re vain,
Dating someone you’re not physically attracted to can take some of the superficiality out of a relationship and let you both just be yourselves – that’s a better way of putting it!
7. You May Realize that You Don’t Have A ‘Type’ Physically
If you’re constantly dating people who are your ‘type’ physically and it’s never working out, maybe you don’t have a type.
By giving someone a chance that doesn’t fit into your standard mold of what is attractive, you may find out that they have a lot to offer.
You can broaden your own definition of what is ‘good looking’, or more importantly, what you’re looking for in a fulfilling relationship and partner.
8. It Really Is Important that We Love What’s on The Inside
If you’re not physically attracted to the person you’re dating, it’s a good reminder that we should all be focusing on what’s on the inside.
It’s a cliché for a reason – because it’s true!
The physical stuff is temporary and, in the grand scheme of things, not all that important.
We should be looking for a partner who makes us laugh, loves spending time with us, and is kind and caring.
Those are the qualities that really matter in the long run.
9. If It Doesn’t Matter to You, It’s Never Going to Be an Issue
At the end of the day, it’s up to you who you date and why.
If you’re not physically attracted to someone but you enjoy their company and they make you happy, then that’s all that should matter.
Don’t let anyone else tell you what you should or shouldn’t find attractive – only YOU know that!
10. There Is Obviously a Stronger Form of Attraction if You’re Into Them
I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with being physically attracted to your partner – that’s obviously important!
But if you’re not, it doesn’t mean that you can’t have a happy and fulfilling relationship.
There are plenty of other things to focus on and find attractive about someone.
Give them a chance and see how it goes.
Can a Relationship Work if You’re Not Physically Attracted?
Absolutely! If you find yourself in a situation where you’re not physically attracted to someone you’re interested in, it doesn’t mean that the relationship is doomed.
There are plenty of reasons why dating someone you’re not physically attracted to can be a good idea.
Of course, it’s important to be attracted to your partner on some level – but there’s more to a relationship than just physical attraction.
Is Physical Attraction Important in Long-Term Relationships?
Being physically attracted to someone is associated with short-term relationships because that’s the first thing to fade.
A physical attraction is great in a long-term relationship, but it’s rarely the glue that holds a couple together.
It’s common interests and a much deeper, emotional, and spiritual connection that keeps people together in the long term.
Is It More Important to Have an Emotional or Physical Attraction to Someone?
Both are important, but emotional attraction is more important in a long-term relationship.
A physical attraction can fade over time as we lose our looks or change in appearance, but an emotional connection will only grow stronger.
When you’re dating someone you’re not physically attracted to, it’s important to keep all of this in mind and focus on the things that you do like about them.
Do their sense of humor, kindness, and intelligence make up for the fact that you’re not physically attracted to them?
If so, then give them a chance – you may be surprised at how well things work out!
What do you think? Have you ever dated someone you weren’t physically attracted to?
I think you’ll also like:
What to expect when dating a guy less attractive than you.
How to handle seeing your ex dating someone uglier than you.
Image credits – Photo by Seth Reese on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.