Are you marrying someone your parents don’t approve of?
It can be heartbreaking not to have your parent’s blessing when you find your soulmate.
Not to mention all the problems it can cause, both within your family dynamic and emotionally.
However, if you and your parents are willing to communicate and you approach this topic in the right way, I believe there is a chance they’ll become accepting over time.
5 Things that Will Help Your Parents Accept Your Partner
Have Good Communication with Your Parents
It’s important to be able to communicate effectively with your parents about this situation – otherwise, you’ll never find a solution.
You should avoid getting defensive and instead, explain why you love your partner and why they’re good for you.
Make sure to listen to your parent’s concerns as well and try to see things from their perspective.
No matter how defensive they are, if they say hurtful things, or if they make it clear they’ll never give you their blessing, don’t say anything you’ll regret or close the door on them.
At the end of the day, they’re your parents. This might be the toughest thing you’ve ever had to accept, but you never know what the future holds!
Related – Here are some tips for dealing with disapproving parents.
Address Any Concerns They Have
There will be one or more reasons why your parents do not approve of the person you’re marrying, and you may be able to address those concerns.
For example, if they think your partner is too controlling or doesn’t respect you, have a conversation with your partner and your parents about that.
Or, maybe they think you can do better. This is always a hard one to take, but you have to keep in mind that your parents want the best for you.
In this case, helping your parents and partner to get to know each other better can help – if you see something special in them, I’m sure your parents can.
It’s also crucial to be honest with yourself.
If you can see why your parents might have these concerns, it’s worth you addressing them yourself, too.
Let Them Get to Know Your Partner on Their Terms
Your parents might need some more time to get to know your partner before they can accept them.
This is especially true if they think you’re too young, if this is a rebound relationship, or they really don’t know them very well.
If that’s the case, let them take their time – there’s no rush!
I know it can be difficult to bridge the gap if either your partner or your parents are resistant.
But keep in mind that you’re marrying your life-long partner, and your parents aren’t going anywhere, either – so don’t feel like you need to rush this.
Show Them how Happy You Are Together
At the end of the day, most disapproving parents just want to see their child happy. This is why it seems like no one is good enough.
So, if you can show your parents how happy you are together and that your partner makes you a better person, they’re more likely to come around.
It might not be easy or happen overnight, but if you approach this in the right way, there’s a chance your parents will accept them eventually.
Explain how Much It Would Mean to You to Have Their Blessing
It might be hard to talk about, but telling your parents how much it would mean to you to have their blessing can be very effective.
After all, they love you and want you to be happy – so this should be something they can understand.
Make sure not to put too much pressure on them or make them feel guilty, though.
The goal is to make them see how much this means to you and why their approval would make such a difference.
Related – Read this if your partner wants to move back in with their parents.
Can You Marry Someone Without Your Parent’s Blessing?
Technically, you can get married without your parents’ blessing.
But, if they’re not supportive, it can make things very difficult.
Your wedding day is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life – but it will be hard to enjoy it if your parents aren’t there.
Plus, if they’re not happy about the person you’re marrying, it can put a strain on your relationship with them.
It’s not impossible to make things work, but it will be much harder than if you had their support.
You really have two choices;
- Postpone the wedding and give your parents more time to come around, or
- Go ahead without their blessing and hope they come around in the future.
It’s really up to you how you handle this, but as you can see, the one factor you do not have control over is time.
It’s going to take time for your parents to accept your partner if they come around at all.
Should You Go Against My Parent’s Wishes and Marry?
This is a difficult question to answer.
There’s no easy way to make this decision, and it really depends on the situation.
You need to consider how important your relationship with your parents is, how much their approval would mean to you, and if you’re willing to risk losing their support.
It’s also important to think about how this would affect your relationship with your partner.
If you’re not sure what to do, it might be helpful to speak to a counselor or therapist who can help you sort out your feelings and make the best decision for you.
At the end of the day, however, only you can decide whether or not to marry someone your parents don’t approve of.
Related – 21 signs your parents don’t really care about you!
Accept that Your Parents May Never Approve
This isn’t an easy pill to swallow, but it’s important to accept that your parents may never approve of your partner – no matter how awesome your partner is.
If this is the case, you need to be prepared for the possibility that you might have to choose between your parents and your partner.
This is obviously going to be a tough thing to navigate and it’s going to cause some issues
You may have to make sure your parents and partner don’t cross paths, which isn’t a comfortable situation for anyone.
How you handle the situation is going to come down to your individual circumstances, as I’m sure tensions are going to be running high.
However, the bottom line is that you may have to accept that there isn’t going to be a happy ever after between your husband or wife, and your parents.
But as long as you’re happy, that’s OK.
Image credits – Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.