There are few worse feelings than knowing your parents disapprove of something you’re doing.
Having a strong relationship with our parents is crucial. They’re the core of our support network, help us when we need it, and guide us in life.
So, finding a solution when they don’t approve of something is essential.
To help you get through to your parents, here are 10 ways how to deal with disapproving parents:
10 Ways How to Deal With Disapproving Parents
1. Talk Openly with Your Parents
The first and most crucial step is always communication. Without good communication, you’re never going to find a solution – it’s that simple.
Your parents might have a different opinion on something because they don’t understand your point of view.
So, it’s essential that you explain things to them as best you can.
If they’re still not convinced, then try and find some common ground. If you can both agree on at least part of the issue, then you’re one step closer.
It might take time, in fact, it’s almost certainly going to take some time. But by talking openly about why they disapprove there is a good chance you’ll find a solution.
Related – Do you still have overbearing parents at 40+ years old?
2. Explain Why It’s Important They Approve of What You’re Doing
This is particularly important if what you’re doing is something that’s going to have a direct impact on all of your lives.
For example, if you’re planning on moving out or getting married you really need your parent’s blessing.
In cases like these, it’s essential to explain in detail why this change is necessary and how it will positively affect your life.
Keep in mind that your parents want what’s best for you, and this is almost always going to be the driving force behind their disapproval.
3. Let Them Know how Important Their Approval Is to You
It’s not always easy to tell our parents how we feel.
But, if you’re struggling with their disapproval it’s a good idea to let them know just how much their opinion matters to you.
Doing this will help show your parents that you respect their views and are willing to work towards a compromise.
Plus, it will also give them a sense of how much this issue is affecting you.
4. Don’t Let Your Parents Stop You from Chasing Your Dreams
Our dreams and aspirations are a huge part of our lives – and sometimes they don’t align with what our parents want.
They give us something to strive for, help shape our identity, and provide a sense of purpose.
Plus, just think about how many famous people like Einstein, Ford, Trump, Edison, Franklin, etc, had a dream that seemed crazy, but ended up changing the world.
I’m a huge advocate for dreaming big and chasing those dreams, so this is something that I’m passionate about.
If your parents disapprove of your dreams, it can be incredibly frustrating and disheartening.
The most important thing to remember is that you should never let anyone stop you from aiming big, even if those people are your parents.
5. Don’t Hold It Against Them or Cut Them Off
It’s easy to get angry and lash out when our parents disapprove of something.
But, it’s important to remember that they’re only human and are probably just trying to protect you from making a mistake.
So, even if you don’t see eye-to-eye on this issue it’s essential that you don’t cut them off or hold it against them.
Your relationship with your parents is one of the most important things in your life, so don’t do anything that might fracture that beyond repair.
Parents or not, you need to respect their opinion – even if you don’t agree or let it change what you’re doing.
6. Bring in Other Family Members for Support
If you’re really struggling to deal with your parent’s disapproval, then it might be a good idea to bring in other family members for support.
They can provide a different perspective on the situation and may even be able to help convince your parents that what you’re doing is okay.
Plus, they’ll be able to offer emotional support which is important when dealing with such a sensitive issue.
7. Ask Them What You Can Do to Appease Them
If you can’t get through to your parents or come to an agreement, then it might be a good idea to ask your parents what you can do to appease them.
Of course, this isn’t always going to be possible – but it’s worth a try.
It shows that you’re willing to work towards a compromise and are open to their suggestions.
This doesn’t mean you have to give in to what they disapprove of, you can still stand strong on that aspect.
But showing them that you’re willing to compromise is a huge step in the right direction and might help them move a little, too.
Related – 19 signs your parents don’t really like you and how to handle marrying someone your parents do not approve of.
8. Educate Them and Try to Find a Solution
If your parents disapprove of something, it might be because they don’t have all the facts or do not fully understand the situation.
If this is the case, then it’s your job to educate them.
Provide them with resources, studies, articles, etc, whatever it takes to back up what you’re saying.
This will help show them that you’ve done your research and that you’re not just blindly following something.
Sometimes, people just need confidence and a better understanding of a situation to be OK with it.
9. Give Them Time to Come Around
If you’ve done everything in your power to try and get your parent’s approval, then it might be a good idea to give them some time.
This is especially true if they’re having a hard time accepting a major change in your life – like getting married or moving out.
They may need time to process everything and come to terms with it, and that’s understandable.
As time passes and they see how happy you are, even the most stubborn parents should be able to admit they were wrong (even if they don’t say it!), and give you their approval or blessing.
10. Accept that They May Never Approve
At the end of the day, you may have to accept that your parents may never approve of what you’re doing – and that’s OK.
You can’t force someone to change their opinion, even if it’s your parents, no matter how much you want them to.
If they continue to disapprove after you’ve done everything in your power to try and change their mind, then you have to accept that and move on.
It’s not easy, but it’s important to remember that you’re an adult now and you get to make your own decisions – even if they’re not always going to be popular with your parents.
Image credits – Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.