If your boyfriend has forgotten your birthday, I know how disappointing and hurtful it is.
It happened to me when I was a teenager and I still remember how it felt!
However, before jumping to any conclusions I advise you to find out why – if there’s a reason – he forgot.
I’m not saying he’s going to get a pass, but honestly, there might be some room to forgive your boyfriend – especially if he makes up for it!
Should I Tell My Boyfriend He Forgot My Birthday?
You absolutely should tell your boyfriend if he’s forgotten your birthday, but there is a time, a place, and a way to tell him.
This might be easier said than done, especially if you had high hopes and feel really let down, but it’s important not to tell him if you’re angry or emotional.
Once the reality sets in that he’s really forgotten and he isn’t planning a late-minute surprise, I’d tell him either the day after your birthday or a little longer.
If you don’t tell him it could take a long time for the penny to drop that he missed your special day, and it’s only going to play on your mind.
So, I think it’s always best if you tell your boyfriend within the days after and hear him out as to what kind of excuse he has.
Why Would Someone Close to You Forget Your Birthday?
It’s hard to take when someone you care about like your boyfriend, a good friend, or a family member forgets your birthday.
But it’s important you find out why before you have a go at them.
There could be a totally innocent reason as to why they’ve forgotten.
Maybe they’ve had a lot on their plate recently and your birthday has slipped their mind.
It’s also possible they’ve forgotten because they actually think it’s a different date so in their mind they haven’t forgotten!
Whatever the reason, it’s best to try and find out before you go ahead and tell them off.
Everyone reacts differently to dealing with something as upsetting as this and the reason behind it, so I’ll leave it up to you as to what you want to do.
All I’m saying is that you should hear them out, and more importantly, see how they try to make it up to you when they realize they missed your birthday!
Should I Be Upset if My Boyfriend Forgot My Birthday?
You’re right to be upset, yes.
Even if they have a decent reason why they forgot and are very apologetic, if you feel upset that’s something you can’t just switch off.
What I would say is that you should be careful about what you say to your boyfriend, especially when you’re upset.
If they feel terrible about it, I wouldn’t beat them up too much and make them feel worse.
It’s a different story if they’re always forgetting important dates and events or have even missed your birthday before though!
How Should You Tell Your Boyfriend He Forgot Your Birthday?
The most important thing is that you tell your boyfriend how you feel about him missing your birthday.
You could say something like, “I’m really upset and disappointed that you forgot my birthday. I know you must have had a lot on your mind, but it still hurt.”
I think it’s also important that you listen to what he has to say about it too.
If he gives you a genuine excuse then maybe you can forgive him, but if he doesn’t then you can decide what to do from there.
You could also just drop it into a conversation to see what he says, like, “Oh, by the way, it was my birthday a couple of days ago.”
This might not be the best way to go about it as he might just laugh it off or say he’s sorry without actually meaning it, but it depends on how much of a deal you want to make.
If you think you’ll find it difficult to tell him in person, you could just send him a text.
You won’t get to see his reaction this way, but it’s also a good way to drop it on him and leave him to stew on it!
You Can Tell if He’s Sorry by How He Tries to Make up For Forgetting
Ultimately, if you’re wondering if your boyfriend deserves to be forgiven for forgetting your birthday, it largely depends on how he tries to make it up to you.
If he’s truly sorry then he’ll go out of his way to make it up to you, and he’ll also ensure that it doesn’t happen again.
For me, making amends means he does more for you to show he’s sorry then he would have done for your birthday!
It depends on what you’re into. Maybe he will take you out for a special dinner, buy you a thoughtful present, or plan something really incredible.
On the flip side, if he kind of brushes it off and tells you he’s sorry that he forgot but doesn’t do anything to show that he’s sorry – that’s a huge red flag.
You need to ask yourself if you want to be with someone who’s not only going to forget something as important to you as your birthday but isn’t able to understand the gravity of the situation.
I’ve been in a relationship where my birthday was forgotten, and it really hurt.
But my girlfriend was genuinely apologetic and more than made up for it.
Image credits – Photo by Hedi Alija on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.