Are you in your mid-20s and your parents are still trying to control every aspect of your life?
This type of parenting is often referred to as authoritarian helicopter parenting, but names aside, it’s a smothering and counter-productive way to parent.
If you don’t confront your parents and force a change in your relationship now, they’ll never stop trying to control your life.
Here are 9 tips to help you deal with controlling parents at 25 or older!
- Help! My Parents Controlling My Life at 25 – 9 Tips!
- 1. Acknowledge Your Parents Are Controlling
- 2. Establish Healthy Boundaries
- 3. Let Go of Trying to Please Them
- 4. Build a Strong Support System
- 5. Cut Financial Ties if They Have that Hold on You
- 6. Never Get Into Arguments with Your Parents
- 7. Develop Stronger and Clearer Communication Lines
- 8. Be Prepared to Say ‘No’ and Walk Away from Them
- 9. Work on Your Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence
- 10. Understand that It’s Ok to Make Your Own Mistakes
- Is It Normal to Still Live with Your Parents at 25?
- What Is It Called When Your Parents Control Your Life?
- How Do I Stop My Parents from Interfering in My Life?
Help! My Parents Controlling My Life at 25 – 9 Tips!
1. Acknowledge Your Parents Are Controlling
The first step is acknowledging that your parents are controlling.
This might seem obvious, but it’s an important distinction to make.
Your parents might not realize they’re being controlling because they think they’re helping you.
They may even have convinced you that they have your best interests at heart and are stopping you from making mistakes.
But if you can’t make your own decisions without their approval, they’re always breathing down our neck, and they micromanage you – then they’re crossing the line from helpful to overbearing parents.
If it feels smothering, is having a negative impact on your emotional and mental wellbeing, and is holding you back in life, it’s time to face up to the fact that you need to break free from your controlling parents.
2. Establish Healthy Boundaries
The next step is to establish healthy boundaries with your parents.
This means setting firm limits on what you will and won’t tolerate from them.
It might be difficult at first because they’re used to getting their own way, but it’s essential if you want to have a healthy relationship with them.
To do this, you need to be assertive and stand up for yourself.
Tell them calmly and firmly what you will and won’t tolerate from them.
For example, “I’m not going to discuss my personal life with you unless I want to. And I don’t appreciate being interrogated about my whereabouts or who I’m with.”
If they try to push past your boundaries, don’t back down.
3. Let Go of Trying to Please Them
If you’re used to people-pleasing or parent-pleasing in this case, it can be hard to break the habit.
But if you want to have a healthy relationship with your parents, it’s essential that you let go of trying to please them.
This doesn’t mean being disrespectful or deliberately doing things they don’t approve of.
It means living your life in a way that’s true to you, not in a way that you think will make them happy.
4. Build a Strong Support System
One of the best things you can do for yourself when taking control of your life is to build a strong support system.
This might include confiding in close friends, family members, or even a therapist.
By surrounding yourself with the right people, you will have access to the emotional support you need to deal with your controlling parents.
They may also offer practical advice and help you brainstorm solutions to problems and some might have been in a similar situation.
5. Cut Financial Ties if They Have that Hold on You
If your parents are controlling you financially, it’s time to cut that cord.
This doesn’t mean being ungrateful, not giving back or cutting off all communication with them.
It means becoming independent and taking control of your own finances.
There are a few ways to do this, such as getting a job, paying your own way, opening your own bank account, and getting your own place.
This can be a difficult and daunting task, but it’s an important step in taking control of your life.
6. Never Get Into Arguments with Your Parents
Arguing with your parents is a losing battle.
Controlling people will rarely – or never – admit they’re wrong, and it will only make you more frustrated and upset.
The best thing you can do is to avoid getting into arguments with them altogether.
If they start to get heated, calmly say that you’re not going to argue with them and explain why you’re taking control of your own decisions.
7. Develop Stronger and Clearer Communication Lines
One of the best ways to deal with controlling parents is to develop stronger and clearer communication lines.
This doesn’t mean getting into arguments with them or trying to convince them that they’re wrong.
It means having honest conversations about your expectations and needs from the relationship.
It’s also important to be clear about what you’re willing to compromise on and what you’re not.
It’s only through communicating openly and honestly that you can start to build a more healthy and balanced relationship with your parents.
8. Be Prepared to Say ‘No’ and Walk Away from Them
This is probably the most difficult thing to do, but it’s also the most important.
If your parents are unwilling or unable to respect your boundaries, then you may need to say “no” to them and walk away from the relationship.
This doesn’t mean you’re giving up on them or that you don’t love them.
But this is always a huge step, especially if you’re 25 years old and are used to having your parents controlling your life.
But one thing I can tell you is that it’s going to feel incredibly liberating, trust me!
9. Work on Your Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence
If you’ve been in a situation where your parents are controlling your life, it’s likely that your self-esteem and self-confidence have taken a bit of a hit.
This is perfectly understandable and it’s nothing that can’t be fixed.
The first step is to recognise that your parents’ behavior is not a reflection of who you are as a person.
It’s also important to start building up your self-esteem and confidence by doing things that make you happy and by surrounding yourself with positive people.
You can also try some affirmations or positive visualizations to help you believe in yourself more.
10. Understand that It’s Ok to Make Your Own Mistakes
One of the most important things to remember is that it’s ok to make your own mistakes.
Your parents might not like it and they might try to stop you from doing things, but ultimately, you’re an adult at 25 and you have the right to make your own choices.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should go out and make all the mistakes you can think of.
But it does mean that you shouldn’t be afraid to take risks and to learn from your mistakes.
That’s part of being an adult and it’s just part of life. I famous quote comes to mind:
“The greatest mistake one can ever make is to be afraid of making one!”
Is It Normal to Still Live with Your Parents at 25?
It’s not that abnormal to still live with your parents at 25. A lot of young adults are still students or have just started working at this age.
But if you’re able-bodied and have the means to support yourself, then it’s time to start thinking about moving out and taking control of your life.
This doesn’t mean that you have to move out right away or that you have to completely cut your parents out of your life.
But it does mean that you need to start making decisions for yourself and becoming an independent adult.
What Is It Called When Your Parents Control Your Life?
The parenting style that controlling parents come under is called authoritarian or helicopter parenting.
This type of parenting is characterized by high levels of control and little to no autonomy given to the child.
It’s also often associated with a lack of trust, as well as a lack of communication and warmth.
How Do I Stop My Parents from Interfering in My Life?
If your overbearing parents are interfering and controlling your life at 25 years old, I’m sure it’s becoming very frustrating.
My best advice is to read through the 10 tips covered above and start making changes in how you allow your parents to involve themselves in your life.
It’s perfectly doable to break free from your parents controlling behavior and have a healthy relationship with them – but it starts with you taking control.
Image credits – Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash