Meeting a guy for the first time at his house is a huge deal for a lot of reasons.
I don’t know how long you’ve been speaking or how well you know him, but you’re right to be anxious.
The first and most important thing you need to think about is your safety.
When you’re comfortable about being safe, you then need to know what to expect!
Meeting a Guy for the First Time at His House
If a guy has asked you to meet him for the first time at his house, the first thing I want to say is that if you’re not comfortable meeting him at this house, don’t.
If you have any fears, concerns, or doubts, then simply tell him you want to meet him in a public place first.
There is really no reason why he should want to meet at his house for the first time unless he wants to put all the power into his hands.
And that’s not a good thing.
So, I’d ask to meet in a public place, or at worst meet outside his house then go somewhere together.
That said, people do meet for the first time at their homes all the time, so I know some of you reading this will be doing so.
If you are going to meet a guy at his home, I recommend you take the following safety steps:
Let Someone Know Where You’re Going
This is the most important safety measure you’ll take and if it’s not possible then you really shouldn’t go.
Make sure someone knows where you’re going, who you’re meeting, and when you’ll be back.
Give them the exact address and make sure they know where it is. If you have time, doing a drive-by with them to check out the neighborhood is a good idea, too.
Tell the Guy You’re Telling People Where You’ll Be and For How Long
This is just a precaution. You want to make sure the guy knows that people will be expecting you back and if you don’t come back, they’ll know where you were last!
It may seem paranoid, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
I’m sure the guy will totally understand and not find it weird in any way.
If he does find this odd or weird, then that’s a sign that he might be up to something!
Drive Yourself if Possible so You Can Leave When You Want
If you can, driving yourself to his house is a good idea.
That way, if things go south or you feel uncomfortable at any moment you can leave and you’ll also have an excuse not to drink.
Tell Him What Time You’ll Be Leaving Before You Arrive
This is a good idea because it sets boundaries and expectations.
If he knows you have to leave at a certain time, then hopefully he won’t pressure you to stay longer or try to manipulate the situation.
It also shows that you have a sense of self and aren’t just going along with whatever he wants.
To reinforce your leaving time you can even say that you have an appointment, are meeting someone, or come up with a similar excuse.
Tell Him What You’re Ok Doing While at His House Before Going
Talking about boundaries, if you can set some boundaries before even going to his house then you’ll feel a lot more comfortable.
For example, if you’re not ok with kissing on the first date, let him know.
If you’re not ok with being alone in his room, let him know.
It’s always better to be upfront and clear about your boundaries before even getting to his house, so there’s no confusion or potential for a misunderstanding.
Meet During the Day when It’s Light
Meeting during the day is always a safer option because there are more people around and it’s nice and light.
When it’s light our senses are heightened and we’re more alert to any potential danger.
Plus, if things do go south, it’s easier for you to leave and find help if needed.
Ask Him if Anyone Else Will Be There so You’re Not Surprised
Do you know his living arrangements? If not, it’s a good idea to ask him if anyone else will be there.
You don’t want any surprise visitors or for things to become awkward.
Maybe he lives with his parents, that’s going to change the dynamic if you’re meeting his parents.
Or maybe he lives with roommates, and you don’t feel comfortable meeting or being in a house with other people you’ve never met.
Ask Him Why He Wants to Meet at His House
I think it’s fair to ask him why he wants you to meet him at his house.
There might be a cute or reasonable explanation, such as wanting to show you something cool he owns, cooking for you, or even because he’s broke!
But if he seems hesitant or gives a sketchy explanation, that’s a red flag.
Trust Your Gut!
This one is super important and while it’s normal to be nervous or anxious, you need to listen to your gut.
If at any point you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, leave.
Your safety and well-being always come first.
Listen to your instincts and don’t feel guilty about leaving or calling for help if needed. Better to be safe than sorry.
Overall, just use caution and common sense when meeting someone for the first time at their house.
Set boundaries, trust your gut, and always prioritize your safety. Happy dating!
Image credits – depositphotos.com/stock-photo-girl-bangs-in-a-closed
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.