Want to know how to find out if your partner is cheating online?
If you have suspicions that your partner is having an online affair, there is nothing wrong with doing a little investigating.
I’m not an advocate of snooping, per se, but if you have niggling doubts you need to do something about it.
Here are 5 signs your partner is cyber cheating, and 5 ways you can find out for sure!
5 Signs Your Partner Is Cheating Online
1. They Are Spending Way Too Much Time Online
This is the most obvious sign that your partner is cheating or up to no good, but it’s not a guarantee.
People are spending more and more time online nowadays, so don’t jump to conclusions just because they’re always on their phone or computer.
It is a cause for concern, however, especially if his online usage is causing problems in your relationship.
If you don’t know who he’s talking to and what he’s doing online, the first step is to at least get comfortable with what he’s doing.
Related – Is it cheating if he’s flirting online?
2. They Seem Distant and Hard to Communicate With
This is a classic sign that someone is cheating and in combination with the other points on this list points toward an online affair.
There are plenty of other reasons why someone might be distant and hard to communicate with, but if this sudden change in behavior coincides with increased online use it’s definitely worth investigating.
Again, don’t jump to conclusions, but have a conversation about what’s going on.
If your partner is distant and unresponsive, it might be time to start snooping around.
3. They Get Defensive if You Question Them About Their Online Activity
If you try to ask your partner about their online activity and they get defensive, that’s definitely a red flag.
It could mean they’re hiding something or that they’re just not comfortable with you snooping around.
Either way, it’s not a good sign and is worth looking into further.
We all deserve to have our own interests and don’t have to explain everything to our partners.
But at the same time, there shouldn’t be anything we feel totally uncomfortable sharing or feel the need to hide from our partners.
4. They Hide Their Online Activity and Password Protect Their Devices
This is another big red flag that your partner is up to no good.
If they’re suddenly hiding their activity and password protecting their devices, it’s definitely time to start asking questions.
There could be a perfectly innocent explanation, but more often than not it means they’re trying to hide something from you.
If your partner starts doing this, you’re right to wonder if they have something to hide.
5. They Are Clearly Anxiously Waiting to Hear from Someone All the Time
If your partner is always on edge, anxiously waiting to hear from someone, it’s a pretty clear sign they’re up to something.
Again, this could be innocent enough if they’re just waiting to hear back about something to do with work or from a friend.
But if they’re constantly checking their phone and getting anxious when they don’t hear from someone, you do have to wonder what it is that’s so important – especially if they don’t tell you what it is.
5 Ways How To Find out If Your Partner Is Cheating Online
1. Check Their Browser History
One of the easiest ways to check what your partner has been up to on this computer (or mobile) is to check their browser history.
Depending on which browser they use, the history settings will be in a slightly different place.
But you should be able to find their history by clicking the settings button (the 3 dots in the top right corner of Chrome), then looking for ‘History’.
Here you’ll see all the websites they’ve been visiting and it’ll give you a good idea of where they’re spending all those hours online.
2. Get Close to Them While They’re Online
If you don’t want to snoop into their history, or can’t because they always password lock their PC, you could simply try and look over their shoulder.
Again, it doesn’t feel great to do this, but if you have strong suspicions they are up to something they shouldn’t be, it’s a good way to find out.
If they have nothing to hide, your partner will not quickly try and change what they’re looking at or close windows and apps down just because you’re there.
If you do see them scrambling to hide whatever they were looking at, obviously that’s a red flag.
3. Set up A Fake Profile and Contact Them
This is another way you can find out if your partner is cheating online without having to tiptoe around and try to look on their devices.
You could essentially catfish them by setting up an online profile on whatever platform they’re spending the most time on and start speaking to them.
It feels a bit dirty, of course, but if you have no other option it’s a great way to put your mind at ease – or find out what they’re up to.
Just start asking them questions and see how honest they are. If they act like they’re single, obviously I don’t need to tell you that it’s a huge red flag.
4. Ask Them in A Way that Will Help Them Be Honest
Sometimes the only – or at least the most direct and easiest way – to find out if your partner is cheating with you online is to just ask them.
They may not be honest about it, but they also might be.
There is also a lot you can tell about how they act and answer you, such as if they’re squirming around and getting defensive.
At the very least, it’s going to help put your mind at ease by getting your concerns out in the open. See what they say, and take it from there.
Related – Tips on how to get the truth out of a cheating spouse.
5. Use Software to Track Their Activity (Last Resort!)
I think this should be the last resort, but if you really want to know what your partner is getting up to online you could consider installing some tracking software.
It’s a huge breach of privacy and trust, but I will leave it up to you to decide if you want to do it or not.
There are a number of software tools that will do this for you.
Keylogger software, like this All In One Keylogger, will track all the keystrokes made on a PC, enabling you to tell exactly what your partner is doing while online.
Or, you could go a step further and install something like this Spytech SpyAgent software, which has a suite of spy-like tools.
You can see what windows they opened, the chat and social apps they used, and loads more stuff.
The main pro of using tracking software is that if your partner is cheating online, you’re going to find out and you’ll also be able to prove it.
But if they’re not cheating, you’re probably going to end up feeling pretty bad about spying on them.
If he finds out you’ve been spying in such an intrusive way, the tables could turn and it’s you they’re going to be accusing of doing things they shouldn’t be.
Image credits – Photo by Kirill Martynov on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.