Want to know how to deal with an insecure person in a relationship?
Let’s get one thing straight, it’s hard being in a relationship with someone who is insecure.
They always need reassurance that you’re still there for them, that you love them, and that they are still attractive to you.
Insecurity can cause a lot of problems in a relationship, and it’s one of the leading reasons why relationships break down.
If you’re currently in a relationship with an insecure person, read on for some tips on how to handle the situation.
Signs Your Partner Is Insecure
If you’re looking for reassurance that how your partner is behaving is due to being insecure, there are some classic signs to pay attention to.
Some of these signs include:
- They constantly seek reassurance from you about your feelings for them
- They get jealous easily and often
- They try to control what you do and who you see
- They put you down or make you feel bad about yourself
- They have low self-esteem and are always seeking validation from you
These are just some of the signs that your partner may be feeling insecure in the relationship.
Insecurities can vary based on the type of insecurity your partner is suffering from.
They may be insecure about their looks or body image, their relationship with you or others, their job, or just about anything else in their lives.
6 Ways How to Deal With an Insecure Person in a Relationship
Identify Exactly What They’re Insecure About
As mentioned, there are many types of insecurities. It might not be their relationship with you they’re insecure about, even though them being insecure is affecting the relationship.
You need to both sit down and have an honest and open conversation about what it is they’re insecure about.
If your partner isn’t ready or able to open up, this is going to be a serious roadblock in the way of being able to move forward and work on your relationship.
Give Them Plenty of Reassurance
Once you know where their insecurities lie, it’s important to give them plenty of reassurance around these fears.
This isn’t going to be an overnight fix, they will still be insecure. But it should help lessen their insecurities and help build their self-esteem and confidence.
If you can also demonstrate that their insecurities are unfounded, even if this seems obvious, you should show them that.
Don’t Let Them Control You or Your Life
Insecure people often try to control those around them as a way of feeling more in control themselves.
This might manifest itself in them telling you what to do, who you can and can’t see, or what you can and can’t wear.
It’s important to stand up to this behavior and not let them control you or your life.
Assertively tell them that you’re not going to put up with this behavior and set boundaries.
Don’t Criticize Them or Make Them Feel Bad About Themselves
This should go without saying, but you should never make fun of your partner or criticize them for their insecurities.
Doing so will only make them feel worse and could further damage your relationship.
If this means you have to be more sensitive and tactful than you would be with someone else, so be it.
Feeling insecure and having low self-esteem is a very real mental problem and can easily spiral further out of control with one misplaced remark.
Try to Be Understanding and Patient
Insecurity is a difficult thing to deal with, and it will take time for your partner to overcome it, or get to a point where it’s much more manageable.
Insecure people can be very demanding, you need to be prepared to put up with jealousy, mood swings, and difficult behaviors.
It’s going to be your love for each other and the desire to work through these problems that are going to hold you both together.
If you’re not a patient person, that’s something you’re going to have to work on!
Encourage Them to See a Therapist or Counselor if They Feel Like They Need Help
If your partner is willing to try and work on their insecurities, that’s great.
However, if they’re not interested in getting help or working on the relationship, then it might be time to call it quits.
I know that sounds drastic, but insecurities can be a major strain on any relationship and often leads to unhappiness for both partners.
At the very least, you need to hear them say that they want to work on themselves so they can be free of those insecurity shackles, and you can both be happier with one another.
In conclusion, being in a relationship with an insecure person can be difficult.
But by following these tips, you can hopefully make the situation easier for both of you.
Insecure people need love, understanding, and patience.
With time, hopefully, they’ll be able to work on their insecurities and the relationship will be stronger for it.
Image credits – Photo by kevin turcios on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.