Does your depressed husband want to quit his job?
He needs your support right now, things can easily spiral out of control if your husband is depressed and finds himself unemployed.
It’s not going to be easy, ideally, your husband will agree to seek professional help.
Here’s some advice on how you can help him find the help he needs, and offer support without pushing yourself to the brink of a meltdown!
Identify Why Your Husband Is Depressed
If your husband has told you he wants to quit his job, before freaking out and telling him how that’s only going to make all of your family and marital problems worse, the first step is to try and identify why your husband is depressed.
Is it his job?
Are there other stressors in his life?
Once you know what’s causing the depression, you can start to look for solutions.
For example, if your husband is unhappy with his job, quitting may not be the best solution – especially if the decision is made when he’s emotional after a bad day.
Instead, you might want to encourage him to speak to his boss about his concerns or to start looking for a new job first.
If he’s exhausted his options within his role or he really has his heart set on leaving, then you shouldn’t put pressure on him to stay.
You should be the voice of reason, however, and help him formulate a plan to leave that causes minimal disruption to your lives.
If your husband is dealing with depression that’s unrelated to his job, quitting probably isn’t a good idea and he’s just feeling like this because he’s down.
In fact, quitting may actually make his depression worse if his financial situation suffers as a result.
Addressing the root of his depression will change his whole outlook on life – and his job.
Whatever issues he was having at work that was causing him to want to quit will likely seem a lot less unimportant, if issues at all once he’s improved his mental state.
Related – My husband quit his job without talking to me! (What you should do)
Support Him Emotionally the Best You Can
Your husband is going through a tough time, and he needs your emotional support right now – whether he ends up quitting his job or not.
Be there for him, listen to him, and help him brainstorm solutions to whatever problems he’s facing.
You may need to take on more of the household responsibilities and childcare while he’s dealing with this, but try not to put too much pressure on yourself.
You’re only human, and you can’t be everything to everyone all the time.
If your husband is dealing with depression, he may not be as emotionally available as he usually is – and that’s okay.
Give him the space he needs to work through his feelings and remember that this is only a temporary situation.
He’ll come out the other side eventually, and things will go back to normal.
In the meantime, try to lean on your friends and family for support so you don’t feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.
Discuss if Quitting His Job Is Really Going to Help
Once you’ve identified why your husband is depressed and you’ve offered him emotional support, it’s time to have a discussion about whether or not quitting his job is really going to help the situation.
Quitting may seem like the easy way out, but it’s not always the best solution – especially if it’s going to cause more problems down the road.
If your husband is only quitting because he’s unhappy within himself, he may find himself in the same situation – or an even worse one – a few months down the line.
This is a tough conversation to have. You need to make it clear that you have his best interests at heart, and not make him feel like you’re trying to force him to just ‘suck it up’.
But at the same time, when someone is depressed, they make poor decisions that they often regret later on.
Don’t just take my word for it, studies have shown there is a strong connection between depression and bad choices.
I’m sure this will not come as a surprise to anyone living with a depressed partner!
Respect and Support His Decision
At the end of the day, the final decision is your husband’s in regard to whether or not he quits his job.
If he’s thought long and hard about it and he’s decided that it’s what’s best for him and his family, then you need to respect and support his decision – even if you don’t agree with it.
Keep in mind that this is a difficult time for him, and he’s going to need all the love and support he can get.
He may well make a mistake, but we all make mistakes sometimes – don’t be hard on him if it turns out he did make a mistake.
Instead, be there to support him and pick him up, that’s what a spouse should do.
As long as he can honestly say that he weighed up all his options with a clear head and discussed the pros and cons with you, you can’t hold it against him.
A husband’s decision to quit his job can be a difficult one – especially if he’s depressed.
If your husband is considering quitting his job, try to support him emotionally the best you can.
Job aside, it’s important you try and encourage him to seek professional help and address why he’s depressed, only then will he make the best decisions for himself and your family.
Image credits – Photo by Romain V on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.