When you’ve ended an affair it’s normal to wonder, does my ex affair partner miss me?
Whatever your reason for wanting to know if your ex affair misses you, there are ways you can tell.
Here are 10 ways you can tell that your ex affair partner misses you:
Does My Ex Affair Partner Miss Me? 10 Signs That Say Yes!
1. They’re Stalking You on Social Media
If your ex affair is keeping their distance, which is understandable as you’re no longer having an affair, then following you on social media is the next best thing.
They might be making it obvious so they can get your attention, or they might not realize you know how much time they’re spending on your profiles.
Either way, if your ex-affair is spending a lot of time browsing your profiles, liking your pictures, or even commenting, they’re clearly thinking about you and probably missing you.
2. They Keep Finding Excuses to Contact You
Going a step further than stalking your social media is reaching out and contacting you.
This could be through text, email, phone calls, or even passing messages through mutual friends.
If your ex-affair is finding excuses to contact you, it’s a sign that they miss you and want to talk to you.
They might not be ready to admit it yet, but they definitely miss you.
3. They’re Asking Your Friends About You
After a lot of affairs end, it’s best for both parties if they don’t contact each other directly.
If this is the case for you and your ex affair, then if they’re respecting that boundary they might ask your friends about you.
This is a clear sign that they’re missing you and can’t move on with their lives without knowing what you’re doing.
4. They Turn up Places Where You Are
If you’ve told your ex affair that you don’t want to see them and they said they’d respect that, then it’s going to make you raise an eyebrow if they keep turning up in places where you are.
It could be a coincidence, but if it happens more than once it’s probably not.
This is a clear sign that they miss you and want to see you, even if they don’t talk to you or pay any attention to you when they see you.
5. They’ve Been Asking You if You Regret Ending Your Affair
If your ex keeps asking you if you regret ending the affair, or if they’ve gone as far as to suggest that you get back together, then it’s pretty obvious that they miss you.
They might not say it outright, but by asking you these things they’re trying to gauge your feelings and see if there’s a chance you’ll get back together.
It’s a clear sign that they miss you and want to start up the affair again or possibly more.
6. Their Relationship Has Ended
This is a subtle sign that they might be missing you or that your affair had a lasting impact on them and their relationship.
If their relationship has ended since you had your affair, even though their partner didn’t know about you, it’s a sign that they were not happy with their partner.
It sounds like the affair made them realize they were not happy, and it’s possible they miss what they had with you.
7. They’ve Asked You if You Miss Them
When someone asks a probing question of someone else, it’s often their way of gauging the reaction to see if you feel the same as they do.
So, if your ex has asked you if you miss them, it’s likely they are missing you too.
I’m sure they’re longing to hear you say ‘yes’, so they can tell you they also miss you.
But ex-affairs are often complicated, I’m sure your situation is far from straightforward, even if you do miss them, too.
8. They Drop Little Reminders of What You Had Together
If your ex-affair is dropping reminders of the times you had together, even though you’ve both moved on, this isn’t fair on you.
It’s a clear sign they’re not over you, and they might be hoping that you’ll reach out to them or that they can entice you to start things back up with them.
If you’re happy in your relationship you need to ask them to stop this form of emotional manipulation.
9. They Told You They Wish Things Had Gone Differently
Affairs rarely end well or how everyone wanted, the nature of an affair means that someone is going to get hurt.
If your ex has told you they wish things had gone differently, it’s a sign they regret how things ended between you.
They might not be telling you exactly what they mean and how they wanted it to end, but they definitely miss you.
They wouldn’t say anything at all if they didn’t want to pique your interest and hear what your thoughts are about how it all ended.
10. You Can Just Sense or Feel It
Sometimes you don’t need any grand gesture or a clear sign to know that someone is missing you, often you can just sense it.
If you have a gut feeling or just a sense that they’re thinking about you, then there’s a good chance you’re right.
You know them better than anyone, so trust your instincts on this one.
Sure, it helps to have some physical signs or hear from them in some of the ways listed in this post, but ultimately if you think they miss you, they probably do.
How Long Does It Take to Get Over an Affair?
It’s different for everyone, but often it takes a long time to get over an affair.
If you’re the one who was cheated on, it can be hard to trust again and you might always wonder what they’re doing when you’re not around.
If you were the one who did the cheating, you might feel guilty and regretful for what you did.
You might also miss the excitement and passion of the affair.
There are a lot of emotions involved with having an affair, not just during the affair but for months and even years after.
If you’re struggling to move forward and put an affair behind you the best thing you can do is talk to someone about it.
A therapist or counselor can help you understand your emotions and work through the pain.
If you don’t want to go down that route, even a close friend or confiding in someone online who has been through the same thing can help.
Just talking about it and getting it off your chest can help you start to move on.
It’s not going to be easy, but with time, patience and understanding you can certainly overcome an affair, at least to the point where you’re able to move on in a healthy way.
Should I Contact My Ex Affair Partner if I Miss Them?
There’s no easy answer to this question as it depends on your individual situation.
If you want to be friends with your ex affair, that’s never going to be easy no matter how much you try to convince yourself you will keep things cordial.
You need to ask yourself if you want to be friends with your ex because you’re still in love with them or miss them, or because you genuinely care about them as a person.
If it’s the former, then you’re going to have to accept that getting involved with your ex-affair in any way is going to stir up a lot of emotions.
If you’re back with your partner or can’t be with your affair partner because they are in a relationship or for some other reason, then you shouldn’t contact them.
It will only make things harder for you.
I understand that you shared something special with them, but you have to draw a line and accept that the moment has passed.
The only reason I would suggest contacting an ex affair partner is if you want to try and make things work between the two of you as a couple.
If it’s not for this reason, it’s almost never going to work out well.
Image credits – Photo by Mitchell Hartley on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.