In this article, I’m addressing a common question; Why do I miss my affair partner so much?
Whether your affair ended days or weeks ago to years if you miss your ex-affair partner, you’re not alone.
It’s a tough pain to deal with as it’s often a private experience and something you feel like you have to go through alone.
But you don’t need to go through it alone, and there are a number of things you can do to ease the pain:
I Miss My Affair Partner so Much – Why It’s Normal
The first thing I want to point out is that it’s normal to miss someone you had an affair with, there is absolutely nothing unusual or wrong with doing so.
It’s a sign that you had strong feelings for this person, and it will take some time to get over those feelings.
That said, there are a number of reasons why you might be feeling this way:
- You had/have strong feelings for your affair partner.
- The affair was a source of excitement and adventure in your life that you haven’t replaced.
- The affair was a way to feel good about yourself that you’re still not getting.
- Your affair partner made you feel special and understood you in a way that no one else does.
If any of these resonate with you, then it’s likely that you’re feeling more than just simple nostalgia for your affair partner.
Obviously, I don’t know what happened or anything about your individual circumstance, so I can’t tell you what’s best for you.
What I can tell you, however, is that you need to do something to address your feelings or you’re never going to be truly happy in your current or future relationships.
Will You Ever Get Over an Affair Partner?
The truth is, you might not ever get over your affair partner.
It’s possible that the feelings you have for this person are so strong that they’ll never go away completely.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy in a committed relationship with someone else.
It’s possible to love more than one person in your lifetime, and it’s possible to have strong feelings for someone even if you’re not in a romantic relationship with them.
So even if you’re not completely over your affair partner, that doesn’t mean you can’t have a happy and fulfilling life with someone else – and you shouldn’t let it stop you.
How to Get Over the Pain of Missing an Ex-Affair Partner
There are a number of things you can do to ease the pain of missing an ex-affair partner.
First, it’s important to understand that you’re going to feel this way for a while, and there’s no shame in admitting that.
There is no telling how long it’ll take for the feelings to at least become very manageable.
It’s important that you know this from the start and not be too hard on yourself.
Second, don’t try to replace your ex-affair partner with someone else.
This will only lead to more pain and disappointment down the road.
I’m not suggesting another affair! This relates to any romantic involvements, you can’t simply move on in a rebound fashion and get over them.
And third, try to focus on the positive aspects of your life and relationships.
This can be difficult, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this and that there are people who love and care about you.
If you’re taking the time to care for yourself, such as meditating, doing things that make you happy, and surrounding yourself with good people, you’ll heal.
Is There Someone You Can Talk To?
Part of the reason why it’s so difficult for many to get over an affair is because they need to keep what happened a secret.
This only adds to the shame and isolation you’re already feeling.
But talking to someone is always going to be a huge step towards moving on and dealing with the pain and emotions you’re feeling about the affair.
If there’s someone you trust, such as a close friend or family member I urge you to talk to them about it.
If possible, you can leave names, dates, and other sensitive information out that isn’t important to what you’re trying to communicate.
If you don’t have anyone you feel comfortable talking to about this, there are always professional counselors and therapists that can help.
So many people are shy about reaching out for professional help, but I urge you to do so if you’re struggling.
You can even do it online and might not have to do it on a face-to-face basis in person if that’s what is putting you off.
Should I Contact My Ex Affair Partner?
This is a question I get asked a lot, and it’s tough to answer because there isn’t one answer that fits all.
It depends on your individual circumstances, relationship with this person, and what you’re hoping to achieve by contacting them.
In some cases, it might be a good idea to contact your ex-affair partner and see how they’re doing.
This can help you to get some closure and perhaps even apologize for what happened.
If you never really spoke about the way the two of you split up, there might be some unresolved issues there that need addressing.
But in other cases, it might not be a good idea to contact them, especially if it’s going to stir up old emotions.
You need to be in a good place emotionally before you reach out to them, otherwise, it might do more harm than good.
Just don’t make any decisions in haste, and again, if there is someone you can speak to first, you should.
It’s Going to Be Ok if You Take Steps to Resolve Your Feelings
I want to end by saying that everything is going to be OK if you’re committed to resolving your feelings for your ex-partner.
It’s not going to be easy and you’re going to need to put in the work, but it will be worth it in the end.
I’m not suggesting you’ll ‘get over’ them or forget about them, not at all.
But if you take steps to heal and move on, you’ll not miss them as much in the future.
Even if that means speaking with them, if possible, and of course, time is the greatest healer of all.
Image credits – Photo by @invadingkingdom on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.