Emotional affairs are very different from physical affairs, but they’re just as – and sometimes more – damaging.
But do emotional affairs turn into love?
An emotional affair absolutely can turn into love, yes!
The bond is often even stronger due to emotional affairs often blossoming out of friendship and a deep emotional connection.
Here are 15 signs that indicate or prove an emotional affair is turning into love:
Do Emotional Affairs Turn Into Love? (15 Signs That Say Yes!)
1. Your Get Butterflies Around Them
Butterflies are real, and it’s a sign that you feel strongly about someone, no matter how much you’re trying to tell yourself you don’t.
If you’re getting butterflies around someone who isn’t your partner – especially if you used to only get them around your partner – it’s a sign that your emotional affair is turning into love.
Emotional affairs typically start out as a friendship, and as you find more common ground with someone and confide in them, you develop feelings.
But having butterflies and an excited feeling when you’re around them means your relationship is transcending just an emotional affair.
2. You’re Jealous at The Thought of Your Affair Being with Their Partner
When you get into an emotional affair with someone and you know they have a partner, the thought of them being with their partner isn’t an issue, right?
But if that’s changed over time to the point where you’re jealous over the thought of them being with their partner, your feelings are growing.
You may tell yourself you’re just being possessive because you care about them, but that’s not it.
The fact that you’re jealous over them being with their partner is a sign that your emotional affair has turned into love.
3. You’re Willing to Tell Them Anything
Emotional affairs are built on that emotional bond you create with someone other than your spouse by sharing personal things with them.
But if you still love your partner more than your affair, there will always be some things you keep secret.
But if you’re willing to tell them anything and everything, it’s a sign your emotional affair has turned into love.
You may not be physically cheating on your partner, but if you’re emotionally cheating and by sharing some of your most intimate thoughts, feelings, and experiences, you’re crossing a line.
4. You’re No Longer Scared of Getting Caught
When you’re first involved in an emotional affair, you’re always worried about getting caught.
You don’t want your partner to find out because you know it would hurt them and shake your world up.
But if you’re no longer afraid of getting caught, it’s a sign that your feelings have changed.
This says that you don’t care if – or even want – your partner to find out so you can be forced into a position where you move forward with your affair.
5. You Spend Every Minute Thinking of Them
This is one of the more obvious signs that your emotional affair is turning into love as it’s one of the classic signs anyone is in love.
If you’re spending every waking minute thinking of them, texting them, or on social media trying to get their attention, it’s a sign that you’ve developed deep feelings for them.
It’s one thing to think about someone you’re attracted to throughout the day, but if they consume your every thought, it’s a sign you’re in love.
6. Your Feelings for Them Are Telling You
At the end of the day, you’re going to know better than anyone if you’re falling in love with the person you’re having an emotional affair with.
You can’t go wrong listening to what your feelings are telling you.
If they’re telling you that you’re in love with your affair, then there’s a good chance you are.
But if your feelings are telling you that this is just an emotional affair and your heart is with your partner, then it’s probably best to listen to them.
7. You Dream About a Future Together with Them
When you’re in love with someone, you start to daydream about a future together.
It may be something as simple as picturing what your life would be like if you were together or what your kids would look like.
But if you find yourself daydreaming about a future with your affair, it’s a sign that your emotional affair has turned into love.
8. You Feel Safe When You’re with Them
Love brings all kinds of emotions and feelings into play, and one common feeling when you’re in love with someone is a feeling of being ‘safe’.
A big part of this is feeling like you can tell them anything and be yourself without judgment.
If you find that you feel safe when you’re with your affair, it’s a sign that your emotional affair has turned into love.
9. You Can’t Stop Thinking of Them Even When You Try
Trying to stop thinking of someone is a lot like trying to not think of a pink elephant when someone has asked you not to.
The more you try not to think of them (or a pink elephant), the more they’re going to be on your mind if deep emotions are involved.
If you find that you can’t stop thinking of your affair even when you try, it’s a sign that your emotional affair has turned into love!
10. Life Just Feels More Exciting When You’re Together
When you’re in love, life just feels more exciting.
You feel like you can take on the world when you’re together and nothing can bring you down and you have a more positive, upbeat outlook – that’s what love does!
If you find that your life just feels more exciting when you’re with (or without) your affair, it’s a sign that your emotional affair has turned into love and you’re floating on those giddy feelings.
11. You Feel Deep Compassion for Them
Deep compassion, like really feeling concerned for the wellbeing of someone else is reserved for those we love on some level.
We may feel compassion for strangers or acquaintances, but deep compassion is different.
It’s a feeling that we can’t ignore and one that often leads to us taking action to help the person we have compassion for.
If you find that you’re feeling deep compassion for your affair, it’s definitely a sign that your emotional affair has turned into love.
12. It’s Difficult to Concentrate on Day-To-Day Things
When you’re in love, something else that happens is it becomes difficult to concentrate because all you can think about is the person you love.
You may find yourself daydreaming about them or thinking of all the things you want to say or do when you next see them.
Whatever it is, if your affair is preventing you from concentrating on day-to-day things, it’s definitely a sign that you’re in love with your emotional affair.
13. You’re Starting to Be Destructive in Your Current Relationship
If your emotional affair has turned into love and you’re still in a relationship with someone else, you may start to find that you’re being destructive in your current relationship.
You may start picking fights or saying things you know will hurt your partner just to get a rise out of them or to create distance.
You may also start to withdraw from your relationship and pull away emotionally – even more so than you already have.
All of these things are signs that you’re either subconsciously or deliberately trying to get out of your current relationship so you can be with your affair.
14. You Would Literally Do Anything for Them
I’m sure you’ll agree that when you love someone, you’re willing to do anything for them.
You would move mountains and go to the ends of the earth just to make them happy or to see them smile.
If you find that you would literally do anything for your affair, it’s a sign that your emotional affair is becoming a whole lot more serious.
If you’re also honest with yourself and you know you’re willing to do more for your affair than your partner, that speaks volumes.
15. You Keep Keepsakes and Pictures of Them with You
When you love someone, you want to keep mementos of them with you so you can look at them and feel close to them when they’re not around.
It could be a picture, a letter, or something they’ve given you as a gift.
If you find that you’re keeping keepsakes and pictures of your affair with you, it’s a sign that they definitely hold a special place in your heart.
What Should You Do if Your Emotional Affair Has Turned Into Love?
The bottom line here is that if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know if your emotional affair has turned into real love.
You may not want to admit it because you don’t want to hurt your partner, turn your life upside down, or you know that they’re not going to leave their partner.
But if you’re in love with your affair, you need to be honest with yourself and figure out what you want to do about it.
Things can’t carry on the same as they are if you’re madly in love with your affair.
You either need to step away and work on your relationship or speak with your affair and see if they feel the same and the two of you can be together.
It might be the toughest decision you ever make, but it’s one you can’t run from.
Image credits – Photo by kevin laminto on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.