If your man has gone back to his baby mama, I know how you’re feeling.
You’re not alone, either, it’s pretty common for guys to get back with their baby mamas.
So why do guys always go back to their baby mamas?
Was there something you could have done to have stopped him?
Here are 10 reasons why guys go back to their baby mamas, see how many applied to your guy:
Why Do Guys Always Go Back to Their Baby Mamas? 10 Reasons
1. They Want to Make It Work for Their Child
The very obvious reason why dating a guy with a baby mama has a different dynamic is because they have a child together.
Your guy and his baby mama will always be interlinked in some way, and this is often what causes issues when you’re in a relationship with a guy who has a child from a previous relationship.
One of the most common reasons why guys go back to their baby mamas is for the sake of their child.
It’s not always the right decision, but it’s hard to fault when two people are trying to do the best for their children to ensure they grow up with both parents in the same room in a family setting.
Related – Is it normal for your guy to talk to his baby mama every day?
2. Their Baby Mama Is Guilt-Tripping Them
If you have a child, you’ll know that it’s an understatement to say it’s tough work.
Not just the physical and emotional demands, but doing everything you can to make sure your child is having the best possible upbringing.
So when the guy you’re dating is getting texts or calls from his baby mama guilt-tripping him about not being there for their kid, it’s easy to see how he could start to feel guilty and want to go back to her to keep that nuclear family together.
It’s not an excuse, but it’s a reality.
3. They Still Love Them
In some cases, the reason why a guy goes back to his baby mama is simply because he still loves her.
It’s not always what you want to hear and I don’t know if you consider it to be a better or worse reason than the others on this list, but it is a reason.
If your guy has told you that he still has feelings for his baby mama, then it’s likely that he’ll go back to her at some point.
4. Your Relationship Isn’t Working Out
If your relationship isn’t working out this might be what’s making your guy get closer to his ex.
It might not have anything to do with her being his baby mama other than they obviously already know each other.
If your relationship is on the rocks, it might be time to look at why that is rather than why your guy is going/has gone back to his baby mama.
5. It’s Familiar and Safe for Them
Sometimes we all just want to be in a relationship that feels familiar and safe – right or wrong.
If a guy is going through some difficult times emotionally, he may start to long for the safety of a relationship that he knows well.
This is one of the reasons why guys go back to their baby mamas, because it’s a relationship that they know well and where they feel comfortable.
It doesn’t make it right or mean they’ll be happy, but it is a reason.
6. They’re Scared of Being Left out Of Their Child’s Life
If a guy is scared of being left out of his child’s life, it’s easy to see how he could go back to the mother of his child in an attempt to keep that from happening.
No one wants to be a bad or absent parent, and if your guy feels like he’s not being given the opportunity to be a part of his child’s life, he may try to go back to the mother in an attempt to change that.
7. They’re Under Pressure from Their Family
In some cases, the pressure from a guy’s family to be a present dad and give things another chance with his ex might be what pushes him.
Family pressure can be tough to handle and he may give in and go back to his baby mama to make them happy.
Families can be complicated, and if a guy feels like he’s being forced to choose between his family and you, I think you can appreciate that he may choose his family.
8. It’s the Best Decision Financially
Another reason that doesn’t feel good but is a very real reason that I’ve seen numerous times is that it makes financial sense for a guy to go back to his baby mama.
If he’s being squeezed for money, whether it’s through the court system or just emotionally, he might find it easier to go back and live with his ex so that he can save money.
It’s not a nice thing to think about, but it is a sign that he’s not ready for the kind of relationship you’re looking for right now.
9. Their Baby Mama Was Their First Love
Sometimes a guy goes back to his baby mama because she was his first love.
Most of us hold a special connection with our first loves, and combined with the fact that he has a child with her – this can be a strong emotional tie.
If your guy is still in love with his baby mama or has that strong ‘first love’ tie, it’s going to be tough to compete with that.
It sounds like he needs some time and space to figure out where his head is at.
Related – Here are 10 healthy boundaries to set for your guy’s baby mama.
10. Their Feelings Are All Over the Place
On the back of his baby mama being his first love and having feelings for her in some way, a guy might go back to his baby mama just because his feelings are all over the place.
Maybe it’s his struggles with being a dad, not being a family unit, not being over the relationship – it could be any number of things.
But if he doesn’t have his emotions in check, it might be hard for him to make decisions about his life and current relationship that don’t involve his baby mama.
If this is the case, he definitely needs some time and space to figure out what he really wants!
Image credits – Photo by Nikola Saliba on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.