If you’ve just had an awesome date with a hot girl I bet you’re floating on cloud 9 right now.
But the next step is something that fills even the most confident of guys with anxiety.
When should a guy ask for a second date?
I bet you’re desperate to ask her out again, but you don’t want to come across as desperate!
Here are my tips on when it’s the right time to ask a girl out for a second date so you don’t come across as needy and she’s most likely to say, ‘yes!’
When Should a Guy Ask for a Second Date?
First of all, there is no set answer to this question so you don’t need to stress over it too much.
There are a few things you need to consider though, such as:
- How well the date went – if it was an awesome date and you both had a lot of fun, then asking her out fairly soon after is fine. But if it was just average or didn’t go too well because you were nervous, or something happened, then a little more time makes sense.
- What’s been said since – you also need to take into account what, if anything, has been said since the date. I’m sure you sent a text thanking her for the date, maybe she replied, are you getting good vibes that she wants to meet up again?
- How your calendars line up – it also has to make sense before you ask her out again. Is there a gig or event coming up that you know she’d like to attend?
- How keen you want to look – some guys like to come across as keen, some don’t. How soon after the first date you ask her out is how keen you’re going to come across.
With all things considered, if I had to give you an answer I’d suggest asking a girl out for a second date about 2-4 days after your first date if it went well.
You don’t have to set the second date too soon in the future, you can ask her if she wants to catch a movie or gig a couple of weeks out.
If things didn’t go well on your date but you really want to see her again, I’d suggest giving it maybe 7-10 days before asking her again.
What Should You Say When Asking for A Second Date?
Knowing what to say is also something that fills a lot of guys with anxiety, and sometimes it’ll even make a guy put off asking a girl out again!
If you’re stuck for what to say, you could try something along the lines of:
- ‘I had a really great time on our date the other night, would you like to catch up again next week?’
- ‘Hey, thanks for a great time the other night. Would love to see you again if you’re free this week?’
- ‘I noticed [insert band] are playing here in a couple of weeks, if you fancy going I’d love to go with you’
- ‘I’ve been thinking about you ever since our date, I’d love to take you out again.”
- ‘Are you free on [insert date] I have some fun ideas for stuff we can do if you’re interested?’
Anything similar to the above lines will do.
If you can put a personal spin on it and reference something that happened on your date or mention something she told you about her, that’s only going to help!
Should You Wait for The Girl to Ask for A Second Date?
In an ideal world, the girl will ask you out for a second date before you’ve had a chance to ask her so you don’t have to worry about it.
But this might not happen, and if it doesn’t then you’re going to kick yourself for not asking her out so you’re better off just asking.
I mean, if you’re not that bothered if you go on a second date, then you could just wait and see what happens.
But the longer you wait, the higher the chance that she’s going to find someone else and pass on you.
The important thing to remember is that there is no perfect answer to the question of when you should ask for a second date, but if you follow the tips in this article you’ll be in good stead.
It’s a balance of not waiting too long, but also you can’t ask too soon or you’ll come across as desperate and clingy.
But at the end of the day, you absolutely have to put any fears aside and just ask!
There is really no better feeling than having a girl not only agree to go out on a second date but also tell you that she was anxiously waiting for you to ask!
Image credits – Photo by DocuSign on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.