Even if you’ve not been part of a polyamorous relationship, there may be signs you are polyamorous and would enjoy exploring that lifestyle.
It’s not a bad thing, quite the opposite in fact if you find other, like-minded polyamorous people.
So, if it’s something you’ve been thinking about, here are 10 signs that you are at least polyamorous-minded:
10 Signs You Are Polyamorous
1. You Have Multiple Romantic Interests
If you find that you are attracted to and enjoy spending time with multiple people, romantically, then it’s likely you’re polyamorous.
This isn’t just a case of being “greedy” or not willing to commit to one person, as some people may think.
It simply means that your capacity for love and connection is larger than most people’s.
You’ll know how it feels and how different it is from ‘conventional’ crushes and romantic interests when you simply just don’t get hooked on one person.
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2. You Don’t Feel Jealous at The Idea of Your Partner Being with Other People
Jealousy is, of course, a normal human emotion when we feel like we’re not getting full attention from our partners.
But if you don’t feel any jealousy whatsoever at the thought of your partner being with other people, then it’s likely you’re polyamorous.
This doesn’t mean you’re ok with your partner cheating on you or being disrespectful in any way.
It just means that you are OK with them sharing themselves emotionally or physically with other people and know they still love and respect you.
3. When You’re In A Monogamous Relationship It Just Doesn’t Feel Right
If you’ve been in monogamous relationships and they just haven’t felt right, it may be because you’re polyamorous.
It’s not that there’s anything wrong with monogamy, of course, it just doesn’t suit everyone – despite what social norms say.
For some people, the idea of being committed to one person forever is simply too much pressure and feels constricting.
If you feel like this, then it’s likely you’re more polyamorous-minded.
4. When You Picture Your Perfect Future There Is More than One Partner
When you daydream about the future and who you want to be with, do you see more than one person?
Do you imagine yourself being in a relationship with multiple people and feel good about it?
If so, then it’s likely that polyamory is something that would suit you.
This isn’t to say that you can’t be happy in a monogamous relationship, but if you find yourself constantly thinking about being with more than one person then it’s definitely something to consider.
5. You’ve Experienced an Open Relationship and It Felt Right
If you’ve already tried an open relationship and it felt good, then it’s likely that you’re polyamorous.
Open relationships are not for everyone, but if you found that you loved the freedom and honesty that came with it, then polyamory could be for you.
Of course, every open relationship is different and there are many different ways to do it, so you may want to explore this further before committing to anything.
6. The Thought of Being Committed to One Person Makes You Anxious
If the idea of being in a committed, monogamous relationship makes you feel anxious or claustrophobic, then it’s likely you’re polyamorous.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t want commitment or love in your life, it just means that the traditional model of monogamy is not for you.
There are many different ways to have a committed relationship, so if this is something you’re looking for, don’t despair.
Polyamory could be the perfect solution for you.
7. You’re Trying to Find Polyamorous People to Date
If you’re actively trying to find polyamorous people to date, then it’s likely you’re already polyamorous.
This doesn’t mean that you have to be in a relationship with multiple people right now, but it does mean that you are open to the idea and are looking for something different from the traditional monogamous relationship.
This is a big step to take. For most people, the idea of being with someone who would want to be another partner is just simply a no-go.
But for you, all the signs are pointing to the fact that you are driven by that lifestyle, so you should explore it more.
8. Being Open and Communicating Honestly with Your Partners Is Important to You
If being open and honest about your feelings with your partners is important to you, then it’s likely you’re polyamorous.
It’s important in any relationship, but if you’re having strong polyamorous feelings and you want to be able to talk about it with prospective partners, it shows your desire for this lifestyle.
9. Monogamous Relationships Are Not Fulfilling for You Emotionally or Physically
If you find that monogamous relationships are simply not fulfilling for you emotionally or physically, then it’s likely you’re polyamorous.
You certainly need to do some soul searching and ask yourself why you’re not feeling fulfilled.
If you’re experiencing some of the other feelings and emotions explained in this post, it’s likely you’re drawn to the polyamorous lifestyle.
10. You’re Willing to Take Chances in Love and Don’t Worry About Losing “The One”
If you’re willing to take chances in love and don’t worry about losing out on “the one” because you’re willing to have more than one partner, then it’s likely that polyamory is for you.
This lifestyle requires a lot of trust, communication, and vulnerability, but if you’re up for the challenge, it can be incredibly rewarding!
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What Makes a Person Polyamorous?
There is no one answer to this question as everyone experiences polyamory differently.
For some, it’s simply a matter of wanting to be with more than one person and not being able to commit to just one.
For others, it’s a way of life that allows them to experience love and connection in a way that monogamy doesn’t.
But ultimately, it means that you intentionally want or have more than one physical and/or emotional relationship at one time.
Whatever the reason, if you find yourself drawn to the polyamorous lifestyle, there’s no need to force yourself into a monogamous relationship.
There are many different ways to love and be loved, so find what works for you!
How Common Is Being Polyamorous?
Contrary to popular belief, polyamory is actually quite common in the more general sense.
By this, I mean that a study conducted in 2016 found that nearly 20% of Americans have engaged in some form of consensual non-monogamy at some point in their lives!
But if we’re talking about people who openly identify as polygamists, then that number is a lot smaller, somewhere in the 4-5% range.
Image credits – Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.