Do you keep thinking about an old crush?
Are you finding it difficult – even impossible – to move on and let them go?
You’re not alone.
This is a place a lot of people find themselves after they’ve had an intense crush on someone.
Here are 19 reasons why you keep thinking about your old crush and how to finally move on:
Why Do I Keep Thinking About My Old Crush? 15 Reasons!
1. You Like Them More Than You’re Admitting to Yourself
If you keep thinking about your old crush, it’s probably because you really like them.
You might not want to admit it to yourself, but the fact is that you can’t stop thinking about them because you have strong feelings for them.
If you want to move on, it’s important to be honest with yourself about how you feel for them as a start.
2. It Was a Vulnerable Time in Your Life
When we experience a crush, it’s often during a time when we’re feeling vulnerable.
This was especially true for me during my first year of college when I had my first real crush.
I felt so out of place and lost during that time, looking back now having a crush gave me something to focus on and feel good about.
Related – Here’s what to do when your crush likes someone else!
3. You Keep Getting Reminders of Them
It’s hard to move on from a crush when you keep seeing things that remind you of them everywhere.
One way to combat this is to try and avoid any triggers that remind you of them.
Depending on who it was, this might be easier said than done but I’m sure you can find a way to do it.
4. You Keep Bumping Into Them
Worse than seeing reminders is actually bumping into your old crush.
If you keep running into them, it might be a good idea to try and talk to them so you can get some closure.
Even if you don’t end up becoming friends, speaking with them will almost certainly be therapeutic in some form.
5. You Never Got Any Form of Closure
If you never got any closure with your old crush, it’s no wonder you can’t stop thinking about them.
It’s important to try and get some form of closure so you can move on with your life.
There are many ways to do this, but the most important thing is that you do it in a way that feels comfortable for you.
6. You’re Not Happy About Your Current Situation
If you’re not happy with your current situation, it’s only natural that you would start thinking about someone who made you feel good in the past.
It’s important to find a happy place where you are in life now, this will help you move on from your old crush.
Set out some goals and objectives that are going to make you happy, and focus on that 100%.
You’ll be surprised how quickly you can put something in the past behind you when you have something to focus on in the now.
7. You Miss That Feeling You Had For Them
Do you miss the feeling of having a crush on someone?
It’s not uncommon to look back on those feelings with longing, especially if your current situation is less than ideal.
But it’s important to remember that those feelings were only possible at that exact time and place, you can’t ever get that back in the exact same way.
8. You Miss How They Made You Feel
It’s probably not just the feeling of having a crush that you miss, but also how they made you feel.
Your old crush might have made you feel special, wanted, or loved in a way that you don’t currently feel.
This is normal, but it’s important to try and find other ways to get those feelings in your life at the stage you’re currently in.
Related – Ways guys texts their crushes and why they’re so protective at times.
9. You’ve Never Felt the Same About Anyone Else
One reason you might keep thinking about an old crush is because you’ve never felt the same way about anyone else.
This can be a good or bad thing depending on how you look at it, but if you want to move on it’s important not to dwell too much on it.
You might never feel exactly the same way about someone else, but that doesn’t mean you’ll never be infatuated with someone else.
No two crushes, relationships, and situations are the same. You have to take each relationship you have for what it is.
10. You Pine for What Could Have Been
This is probably the saddest and most common reason people keep thinking about an old crush.
You might have daydreamed about what could have been if things had gone differently between you two.
But it’s important to remember that those daydreams are just that, fantasies. It’s not worth getting upset over something that didn’t happen.
Crushes are typically short infatuations for someone that isn’t even attainable. But that’s what makes it so hard to come to terms with.
11. They’re Happier Then You Are, and You Want That
Jealousy is a powerful emotion, and it can be especially tough when you see an old crush doing well without you.
It’s natural to want what they have, but it’s important not to dwell on it too much.
Remember that just because they might be happy in their current situation doesn’t mean you can’t be happy in yours.
In addition to this, things aren’t always what they seem.
They may not be as happy as you think, and there is no guarantee the two of you would have had a happy ever ending if you had things your way.
12. You Wonder If They Ever Think About You Too
When thinking about a past crush, it’s normal to wonder if they think about you, too.
The reality is, however, that most crushes don’t even know that someone has a crush on them.
It doesn’t matter if they think about you, it’s really not healthy to dwell over something like that as you have no control over it.
13. You Find It Hard to Let Go of A Lot of Things
If you find it hard to let go of a lot of things in your life, that might be why an old crush keeps popping back into your mind.
You might have a problem with letting go of past relationships, friendships, or other aspects of your life.
This can be due to different reasons such as anxiety or low self-esteem, it’s something you need to work on in a more broader sense.
14. You’re Generally Feeling Low
If you’re feeling low, it can be hard to stop thinking about an old crush. When we’re down, we tend to dwell on the things that make us feel good.
It’s important to try and find other things that make you happy, or to talk to someone about how you’re feeling.
Try not to dwell too much on an old crush as it might make you feel worse in the long run.
If you work on discovering your own happiness, you’ll find that you don’t even need to consciously try and forget your old crush.
15. You Don’t Like Commitment and Know They Were Unattainable
A lot of people have crushes on people who they know are unattainable and this feeds into their insecurities about chasing someone they can have.
This is especially true if you don’t like commitment as it can be easy to hold onto an old crush because you know they’ll never really be yours.
It’s not a healthy way of thinking. Be honest with yourself, if you’re avoiding making relationships with people you can be with you need to address this.
Related – Here’s what to do when your crush leaves you ‘on read‘!
Ways to Stop Thinking About an Old Crush
So, now you know one or more of the reasons why you keep thinking about an old crush, the question is – “how do I stop thinking about an old crush?”
There are a few things you can do:
- Talk to friends and family about how you’re feeling and why you can’t seem to stop thinking about your old crush
- Identify the main reason why you keep thinking about them (e.g. they were unattainable, you don’t like commitment) and address that issue
- Try and find other things that make you happy to fill the void
- Focus on your own life and what you want from the future and make a plan to achieve your goals
- Talk to a therapist about it
It’s important to remember that everyone is different, so what works for one person might not work for another.
The most important thing is to be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling and why you can’t seem to stop thinking about your old crush.
Once you’ve done that, it’ll be much easier!
Image credits – Photo by Jonas Leupe on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.