When you’re in a relationship, getting along with your partner’s family makes everything so much easier.
But sometimes, for no fault of your own, their family will just not accept or like you.
If this is the case, it’s better that you know about it and understand where you stand and how bad it is.
To help you out, here are 15 signs his family doesn’t like you and what you should do about it:
15 Signs His Family Doesn’t Like You!
1. They’re Not Welcoming
This particularly applies to the first time you meet his family, but it could be something that gets worse over time.
If his family is not welcoming to you, it’s a big sign that they don’t like you.
They may be rude or even ignore you completely, whatever it is, I’m sure you’re aware that this is definitely not a good sign.
Related – What to do when your husband’s family treats you like an outsider.
2. They’re Always Stand-Offish with You
When someone or multiple people are stand-offish it means they’re cold or distant toward you.
They may not be outwardly rude, but they’re just not friendly either.
If your boyfriend, husband, or partner’s family are being stand-offish with you this is a clear sign that they don’t like you for some reason.
3. They Don’t Ask You How You’re Doing or Take an Interest in You
His family might be good at giving off the appearance that they like you or are at least friendly
However, when people care about someone, they want to know how they’re doing.
If the family of your partner doesn’t show any interest in you or your life this is a sign that they don’t care about you and probably don’t like you either.
4. They Talk About Your Partner’s Previous Partners Fondly
If you’re in a long-term relationship with your partner and his family talks about his previous partners in a fond way this is bad etiquette, to say the least.
This behavior shows that they don’t respect you, don’t care about your feelings, and therefore we have to assume they don’t like you.
5. They Don’t Acknowledge Your Birthday or Any Accomplishments
If you’ve been dating for a while or are married and his family still doesn’t acknowledge your birthday, this is a pretty big red flag.
This might also apply to other accomplishments and important dates to you and shows that they just don’t care about you – and it sounds like they want you to know that.
6. They Criticize Things About You
We all have things about ourselves that we’re not crazy about, but when someone points them out constantly it’s just mean.
I’m sure you’re aware that good friends compliment you and build you up, not tear you down.
If his family members are always criticizing things about you – whether it’s your clothes, hair, makeup, or anything else – it’s a sign that they don’t like you.
7. They Don’t Want to Connect with You in Any Way
If his family has no desire to connect with you in any way, it’s pretty obvious that they don’t like you.
By connect, I mean have your number, know where you live or work, or anything else that enables them to be in touch with you.
You don’t have to become good friends with the family of your partner, but it’s not right if they don’t want to have any way of contacting you.
8. Your Partner Said Their Family Doesn’t Think You’re Good Enough for Him
If your partner has ever said anything to you along the lines of “I don’t think they’ll ever accept you,” this is more than a sign that they don’t like you.
They know their family better than anyone, if they know they’re never going to accept you it might be best to cut your losses.
At the very least, it’s a sign that you shouldn’t try too hard or put too much energy into winning them over!
Related – Tips for declining invites to family weddings and birthdays.
9. They Don’t Invite You to Family Events
If you’re never invited to family events – whether it’s a birthday, holiday, or just to hang out – it’s pretty obvious that they don’t want you around.
This is a hurtful thing to realize and accept, but it’s the truth and you need to accept it.
You might be able to find out why they feel like this and build some bridges, but as it stands it sounds like they don’t like you for some reason.
10. They Forget Things About You
I use the word ‘forget’ loosely, as it’s more like they don’t listen properly or care about you enough to remember things that are important to you.
If his family is always forgetting your age, birthday, what you do for a living, etc, it’s a sign that they aren’t interested in you.
11. They Have No Interest in Your Family
If you’re making the effort to meet and get to know your boyfriend’s family, the least they can do is get to know your family.
After all, if you’re planning a future together your families are going to be interlinked so it’s important to make an effort with both.
If they never ask about your parents, siblings, or anyone else important in your life it’s another clear sign they don’t like or think much of you. Sad.
12. You’re Outright Ignored Sometimes
No one likes to be ignored, and few people are rude enough to actually do it.
So, if you’re being ignored by his family members – whether it’s being talked over, not acknowledged when you enter a room, or anything else – it’s pretty hurtful.
It may be hard to avoid them as you’re dating someone related to them, but you really don’t want to be spending time with people capable of ignoring you.
13. They’re Passive-Aggressive Toward You
Passive aggressive behavior is never nice to be around, and if his family is behaving this way toward you it’s definitely not a good sign.
Whether they’re giving you the silent treatment, making snide comments, or anything else, it’s not cool and it’s not something you should tolerate.
There might be an underlying reason you can address at some point, but until that becomes obvious I’d distance yourself from them.
14. They Act Like They Don’t Know You if They See You in Public
This one is really hurtful, especially if you waved or said “Hi” when you saw a member of their family in public – only to be ignored.
If they can’t be bothered to acknowledge you when you’re not with your partner, or worse are deliberately ignoring you, they clearly don’t like you.
15. You Can Just Sense It
This one is harder to pinpoint, but you’ll know it if you feel it.
If you have a bad feeling around his family, or you just don’t feel comfortable or welcome in their presence, it’s probably because they don’t like you.
It might be hard to come to terms with, but it’s the truth.
There are vibes, feelings and energy that comes off of people, and you should trust your gut instinct when something doesn’t feel right.
Related – Some of the ways a mothers-in-law can ruin marriages!
What Do You Do When Your Boyfriend’s Family Doesn’t Like You?
If you’re in the unfortunate position of having a boyfriend whose family doesn’t like you, it’s not going to be an easy thing to change.
First, you need to figure out why they don’t like you, and whether there’s anything you can do to change their opinion.
In a lot of situations, it’s just going to be them wanting the best for your partner and keeping their guard up so no one gets hurt easily.
If this is the case, they’ll warm to you over time and things will get better as they get to know you better.
The issue is when they don’t like you for some other reason that you can’t easily change or because they’re not willing to try.
This may be because of some form of prejudice, because they are dealing with issues of their own, or something you’ve said or done (whether you know it or not) that’s offended them.
In these situations, you need to decide whether it’s worth putting a lot of effort into trying to change their opinions of you.
Should You Break up With Someone if Their Family Doesn’t Like You?
If you’re struggling to deal with the fact his family doesn’t like you and it’s causing problems in your relationship, the first thing you need to do is talk about it with your partner.
It’s not an easy thing to deal with, and you need to be on the same page if you’re going to work through it.
The important thing is how well you and your partner are getting along, you can block out the noise from his family.
If you’re compatible and you have a strong relationship, then it’s definitely worth sticking it out and trying to work through the issues with his family.
Or, if you can’t work through the issues and turn around how they feel about you, you’ll simply need to distance yourself from them.
Image credits – depositphotos.com/stock-photo-happy-family-sitting-by-dinner
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.