It’s not uncommon for a couple to have very different spending habits and even value money very differently.
Even in my relationship, I’m a frugal saver while my wife is a spender, we couldn’t have a much different relationship with money.
Finding a balance, both financially and emotionally in a relationship is difficult.
In fact, financial issues are one of the leading reasons for divorce.
It doesn’t have to be though, with good communication and financial planning it can be overcome!
My Wife Won’t Stop Spending Money! (Here’s What to Do)
If your wife is spending a lot more money than you are I’m sure it feels incredibly frustrating, especially if you think she’s ‘wasting’ money.
However, before you do or say something that’ll offend her, there are a few things you need to think about;
- How much of the money she’s spending did she earn?
- Is it putting the two of you under financial strain?
- Does she acknowledge she’s spending a lot?
- Have you tried to speak with her about her spending habits?
I’ll say off the top that it’s never an easy conversation to have if you’re not used to talking about finances, but you need to be prepared.
It’s also important that you don’t come across as accusatory or confrontational, the last thing you want is to try and make your wife feel bad or ashamed.
This will only cause her to resent the fact that you’re calling her out on her spending and might make her spiral into spending more.
Here is a closer look at the key questions you need to ask yourself (and your wife) and how to approach talking to her about her spending:
How Serious Is Your Financial Situation?
Everyone has a different opinion on how much is ‘too much’ when it comes to spending money.
The real question, however, is; how serious is your financial situation?
If you’re in a comfortable position and can afford for your wife to spend a little more than you, then it might not be such a big deal.
However, if her spending is putting a strain on your finances and even running up debt, then it’s definitely something you need to address.
In a marriage, there is never really going to be something you can call 50/50 or equal when it comes to money.
I’m sure both you and your wife earn very different amounts, and you also have different needs and wants when it comes to buying things.
That’s just two people being very different on its most basic level.
The issues arise when the money could be much better spent on bills or debt and your wife could live without the luxuries she’s buying.
Finding the Root Cause for Your Wife’s Overspending
Assuming your wife is spending money that would be better used to meet your bills and financial goals, there’s going to be a root cause for her behavior.
Some of the most common reasons why men or women spend too much includes:
- A need for validation or to feel good.
- Pressure from friends, family, or society.
- Boredom or a way to procrastinate.
- A way to cope with negative emotions like sadness, anxiety, or depression.
As you can see, the root cause for your wife’s spending might not always be as simple as ‘wanting to spend money.’
It could be linked to much deeper issues that she’s either not aware of or is unwilling to address.
This is where things can get complicated, because it might be necessary to seek professional help in order to get to the bottom of her spending.
But, hopefully, you can resolve this between the two of you, even if it means taking small steps at first!
Why Communication Is so Important
If you want your wife to spend less money and it’s in both of your best interests, then communication is key.
You need to be able to talk about your finances openly without judgment or anger, and she needs to be able to do the same.
This is a team effort, so it’s important that you’re both on the same page.
Start by sitting down with her and going over your monthly income and expenses, as well as any financial goals you have.
Then, ask her about her spending habits and what she buys on a regular basis.
See if there are any areas where you can cut back, like eating out or buying unnecessary items.
It’s also important that you talk about your own spending habits and where you can improve.
Working on Finding a Financial Balance
Overspending can be a difficult habit to break, but it’s important to try and find a financial balance in your marriage.
If your wife is spending too much money, it’s going to put a strain on your finances and could even lead to debt.
That’s why it’s so important to talk to her about her spending habits and see if there are any areas where you can cut back.
If you don’t know how to create a budget or financial plan, there are lots of free resources like templates and spreadsheets online that will help.
But getting your finances down on paper (or a spreadsheet) is crucial if you’re going to highlight the issues her spending is causing.
Once you have a budget in place, it will be easier to figure out where you can both cut back and how much money you need to save.
It sounds simple – and it is – but having the figures down and knowing how much money you have to save or work with is a game changer if you’re not already doing this.
What Not to Do when Faced with A Wife Who Won’t Stop Spending Money
There are a few things you should avoid doing if you want to resolve this issue without causing any arguments or resentment.
Here are a few things you should never do, no matter how frustrated you are:
- Telling her she’s wrong or bad for spending money.
- Shaming her or calling her out in front of others.
- Punishing her by withholding money or not giving her access to joint accounts.
- Trying to control her spending by hiding money or telling her what she can and can’t buy.
These are all surefire ways to make the situation worse, you have to remember that you’re a team and it’s only through working together you’ll find a happy balance!
Remember, communication and making financial plans together is the backbone of resolving this issue.
Image credits – depositphotos.com/stock-photo-attractive-woman-shopping
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.