Being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t contribute is incredibly frustrating, and can cause some serious financial issues.
If your boyfriend doesn’t help you out financially, whether you share bills or not, there is only so long you can put up with it.
There are some things you can do to help him understand that he should be pulling his weight financially, however.
Here’s what it means if your boyfriend isn’t helping financially, the effect it has on your relationship, and what you can do to resolve it:
Help! My Boyfriend Never Helps Me Financially – What to Do About It!
Having a boyfriend who doesn’t help you out financially can be incredibly frustrating.
You may feel like you’re always the one shelling out money for date nights, or picking up the tab when you go out with friends.
If you live together, it can be even more difficult to deal with because you’re essentially paying all the bills and carrying all the financial burden on your own.
So, what does it mean when your boyfriend never helps out financially?
There are a few possible explanations:
- He’s immature and doesn’t understand the importance of financial responsibility.
- He’s used to being taken care of by his parents and has never had to budget or manage money on his own.
- He’s a freeloader who is happy to let you pay for everything because it means he has more money to spend on other things.
- He’s cheap and doesn’t want to spend his own money, so he expects you to cover everything.
Whatever the reason, it’s not acceptable for your boyfriend to never help out financially.
If you’re in a committed relationship, you should be sharing the financial burden equally.
Otherwise, it’s not really a partnership. It’s an arrangement where one person (you) is carrying the other.
That’s not fair, and there is only so long it can last before you either break or end up resenting your boyfriend past the point of return.
Related – Why some guys don’t pay on a first date, and the frustration of paying when your bf is broke.
Who Should Pay the Bills in A Relationship?
This is a point of contention that is the biggest cause of arguments in a relationship, who should pay the bills? How should they be split? Etc
First of all, I want to say that there is no such thing as a perfect 50/50 split.
Even if you split the bills 50/50 from a financial standpoint, two people are never going to be responsible for exactly 50% of the usage.
So, what is the right thing to do?
I can tell you what most couples do. In a relationship where both parties are earning, most couples have a joint account to cover bills.
Each person will then put in an amount proportionate to their earnings.
For example, if you earn $50k a year and your boyfriend earns $25k, you would put twice as much as him into the joint account.
Of course, this is only one way to do it. You need to find out what works best for you, and there may be some bills that are nothing to do with you that you want your boyfriend to cover.
The important thing is that you’re both contributing a fair amount, it’s just finding that ‘fair’ amount that you can both agree on.
How Do I Ask My Boyfriend for Financial Help?
If you’re in a relationship where your boyfriend isn’t helping out financially, it can be a touchy subject to bring up.
You don’t want to seem like you’re nagging or demanding, but at the same time, this is an important issue that needs to be resolved.
The best way to approach it is to have a calm and honest conversation about your finances and see where things stand.
Try and list all of your expenses on a spreadsheet and show him visually how much you’re struggling to cover the bills – or at least how you’re contributing a lot more than he is.
You can ask him why he doesn’t help out more, or if there’s a reason why he can’t contribute at the moment.
From there, you can work together to come up with a solution that works for both of you.
It’s important to remember that you’re a team, and you should be working together to solve this problem. Stress that to him.
How Do You Deal with A Financially Irresponsible Boyfriend?
If the main reason your boyfriend doesn’t help out financially is because he’s irresponsible with his money and is wasting it, you have a separate issue to deal with.
Firstly, you need to have a talk with him about his spending habits and see if he’s willing to change.
If he’s not, then you might want to try and get a joint account where he deposits a set amount as soon as he’s paid, so you can at least cover your bills first.
Being financially irresponsible is a huge hurdle for most people to tackle as their spending is often tied to emotional or psychological issues.
If it’s causing him and your relationship a serious problem, you should encourage him to seek professional help.
Related – What to do if you find out your husband has a secret bank account!
What to Do if Your Boyfriend Simply Refuses to Help Financially
If your boyfriend simply refuses to help out financially, then you need to have a serious talk about the future of your relationship.
This is an unacceptable situation to be in, it’s called financial dishonesty – and it’s not fair on you.
You need to decide if you’re willing to continue carrying the financial burden by yourself or if you want to end things.
Unfortunately, it’s a situation a lot of people find themselves in. Particularly with selfish boyfriends who only think of themselves.
The most important thing you can do is to communicate with your boyfriend and see where things stand.
From there, you can make the best decision for yourself.
Image credits – Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.