It can be confusing to figure out if a guy is stringing you along or just taking things slowly.
There are always signs, however, and there are some key differences between being strung along and taking things slowly.
Here are 10 key differences to take a close look at:
Is He Stringing Me Along or Taking It Slow? 10 Key Differences!
1. Does He Try To Give You What You Want When You Ask?
Yes – This indicates he wants you to be happy and is just taking things slowly. Unless you’re asking him to move the relationship along quicker!
No – When a guy doesn’t give you what you want or tries to meet you halfway, it sounds like he’s stringing you along.
Related – Want to know if you should move on? Take this quiz!
2. Does He Only Show up When He Wants Something?
Yes – This is a major red flag that he’s just there for himself, not for the relationship, and indicates that he’s stringing you along.
No – If he puts in the effort to be there for you and your needs, he likely cares about you and is just taking things slow.
3. Does He Shy Away from Commitment or Long-Term Plans?
Yes – This usually means he’s stringing you along and not taking the relationship seriously.
No – If he opens up about his plans for the future and isn’t afraid to commit, then he’s probably just taking it slow right now and looks forward to a future with you.
4. Does His Actions Back up All the Things He Promises and Says?
Yes – If he doesn’t just say the right things and also backs it up with actions, then he likely is taking things slow.
No – If he rarely follows through with his plans and talks a lot more than he actually does, then it’s likely that he’s stringing you along and just saying what he thinks you want to hear.
5. Does He Struggle to Communicate Openly with You?
Yes – A lack of communication is a sign that he’s not in it for the long haul and may be stringing you along.
No – If he takes the time to talk openly and honestly with you, then he likely cares about what you have to say and is just taking things slow.
6. Has He Introduced You to People Who Are Important to Him?
Yes – This is a strong sign that he cares about you and is willing to bring you into his inner circle and isn’t just stringing you along.
No – If he keeps you hidden away from his friends and family, then it’s likely that he’s not looking for something serious and is instead just playing the field.
7. Does He Tell You He’s Been Hurt in Past Relationships?
Yes – If he’s open and honest about his past and how he’s been hurt, then it’s likely that he’s taking things slow and wants you to understand why.
No – If he never talks about his past relationships or tries to brush them off as insignificant, then it could be a sign that he’s a player or has something to hide.
8. Is He Making an Effort to Really Get to Know You?
Yes – If he’s making an effort, like a real effort to learn more about you and your interests, then it shows that he cares and is taking things slowly as he learns more about you.
No – If he never asks questions deeper than just, “how are you?” or “what have you been up to” or seems disinterested in getting to know you better, then it could be a sign that he’s just stringing you along.
9. Does He Keep Breaking Promises or Changing Plans on You?
Yes – This is a sure sign that he’s stringing you along and not taking the relationship seriously.
No – If he keeps his word and follows through with plans, then it shows that he respects you and your relationship enough to make sure he doesn’t upset you or ruin things.
10. Do You Get a Strong Gut Feeling that He’s Playing You?
Yes – If you get a strong gut feeling that he’s playing you, then it’s likely true and you should be wary of how much time and energy you’re putting into the relationship.
No – If your gut feeling is telling you that he cares about you, even if he moves slowly, then it could just mean that he takes dating at a slower pace than you’re used to.
Related – How to deal with guys who move slow in relationships; and how slow is too slow?
At the end of the day, the best way to know if he’s stringing you along or just taking things slow is to look for the above signs and trust your gut.
If something feels off about the relationship or you’re not happy about anything, then it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with him.
You should always be comfortable enough to talk about any concerns you have, if you can’t have that conversation it’s a red flag that things aren’t going to go well.
I hope this post helped provide some clarity on how this guy is treating you and how your relationship is going!
Image credits – depositphotos.com/stock-photo-walk-woods-pier-young-couple
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.