Are people always telling you that you talk too loud?
It can feel a little embarrassing to be told you’re talking too loud and for you to realize that you weren’t even aware of it all this time.
If you want to do something about it – and I’m sure you do – there will be an underlying reason why you raise your voice, whether you’re aware of it or not.
Here are some of the most common reasons why people talk too loud in social situations along with some solutions!
11 Reasons Why People Talk too Loud without Realizing It Themselves
1. You’re Hard of Hearing
If you’re hard of hearing, you might not realize that you’re talking too loud because to you, your voice sounds normal.
Honestly, I’ve met a number of people who were blissfully unaware that their hearing was getting pretty bad – they just assumed everyone else was talking quietly!
It’s a good idea to get your hearing checked out. There is no shame in getting a hearing aid if it improves your hearing and helps you lower your own voice.
2. You’re Nervous or Anxious
If you get nervous or anxious in social situations, your adrenaline kicks in, and I’m sure you’re aware that everything feels more intense.
This can include your voice.
If you find that you talk more loudly when you’re nervous, it’s probably because your body is trying to get more oxygen and so it’s trying to take deeper breaths.
This can also make you speak faster as well.
The solution here is to try and relax before social situations. There are a number of breathing exercises you can do to help calm yourself down, or you can take a pause at any moment and center yourself.
3. You Were Taught to Speak loudly as a Child
If you were constantly told to speak up as a child, it would make sense that you continue to do so without thinking about it.
It’s just something that has been ingrained into you and feels natural.
I have a friend who realized this was the reason why he was speaking so loud which is why it came to mind when writing this post.
If this is the case, it’s just going to take practice and a little mindfulness before opening your mouth and speaking.
4. You Like Having the Attention of A Group
This is a common one.
Some people love talking to a group of people and having all of the attention on them when they’re speaking.
To do so, they raise their voice – whether they are completely aware of doing so or not – so everyone can hear.
You need to think about who you’re surrounded by, who might or might not want to hear you, and the poor person standing closest to you!
5. You’re From A Noisy Household
If you come from a noisy household, it can be tough to adjust your voice to different situations.
You might not even realize that you’re talking too loudly because at home, everyone is speaking at the same volume.
This can take some time and effort to change, but it’s definitely doable!
Again, you need to be aware of where you are and who you’re talking to. Although, this could also be a good reason to create a calmer, quieter environment at home, too!
6. You’re Excited
OK, I’m guilty of this one at times, and I know it.
When we get excited (most of us, anyway), our voices naturally rise – both in volume and pitch sometimes!
It’s hard to control, I know. I get excited about a lot of things – sports, joking around, proving someone wrong! – and I have to remind myself to keep my voice down.
If you find that you tend to talk loudly when you’re excited, try and take a step back from the situation and breathe.
I know it sounds cliche, but it really does help calm you down, and hopefully your voice as well.
7. You’re Imitating Someone
Have you ever realized that you’ve been imitating someone’s voice and mannerisms?
I have, and I’m sure it’s not a flattering thing to hear.
But we all do it at some point or the other – whether we mean to or not. Sometimes, we pick up another person’s mannerisms, gestures, and how they speak.
If someone is speaking loudly towards you, you might do it back.
You may also then carry that across to other conversations and the next thing you know you’re just talking loudly all the time.
8. You Think You’re Speaking Quietly
This is a common one, I think. We all have different perceptions of how loudly we’re speaking.
You might think you’re whispering when really you’re still talking quite loudly.
Or, you might think you’re speaking at a normal volume when in reality, everyone around you can hear every word.
This may be due to an underlying reason such as not being able to hear well, or you may just think you’re speaking at the right level.
If you’re being told you’re not, however, it’s time to reevaluate how loud you talk.
9. You Don’t Want to End up Repeating Yourself
If you’ve ever been in a situation where you’ve had to repeat yourself multiple times, you might start talking louder so that the person can hear you the first time.
It’s frustrating having to keep repeating yourself, and I get it. I hate having to repeat what I’ve said.
But, if you find yourself doing this often, it might be worth considering why that is.
You might not be making good eye contact or engaging with the person you’re talking with so you have their complete attention.
10. It Makes You Feel Important
Some people feel more important when they’re talking loudly and being heard by everyone around them.
It might make you feel good in the moment, but it’s not a sustainable way to communicate with others and build relationships.
It also doesn’t make you look very good – like you’re trying to show off or something.
If you find yourself talking loudly to feel more important, try and take a step back and assess the situation and ask yourself why you want to feel important.
There are better ways to gain the respect and attention of people you’re talking with, such as having something important to say and delivering it in the right way.
11. You’ve Never Heard Yourself Speaking
This can be one of those tough moments of truth and a hard-hitting realization.
If you’ve never heard yourself talking naturally in social situations, you should definitely record yourself and have a listen.
The voice you hear coming out when you’re talking is not the same as the voice other people hear.
The pitch, tone, and volume are always going to be different from what you hear in your head and what hits other people’s ears.
Take a listen for yourself and give yourself an honest evaluation. It might be worth getting someone else’s opinion on how you talk, too.
There is no shame in wanting to work on how you communicate with others. It’s a valuable exercise!
Image credits – Photo by Alicia Steels on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.