Realizing you’re being led on by a guy is one of the worst feelings in the world, and it’s hard to make a guy change their ways.
The best thing you can do is stop a guy from leading you on and make it clear that you know what games they’re playing.
This puts control back in your hands and you can decide if he’s worth pursuing or just a complete waste of time!
Here are 10 tips explaining how to stop a guy from leading you on:
How to Stop a Guy From Leading You On – 10 Tips That’ll Work!
1. Pick up On the Things He’s Doing to Lead You On
It’s important that you’re aware of exactly what a guy is doing to lead you on so you can either stop him from doing it or not play into his games.
If you’re not sure if he’s leading you on, here are some common things guys do to lead girls on:
- He tells you what you want to hear
- He goes hot and cold on you
- He promises a lot but always lets you down
- He will not commit to long-term plans
- He doesn’t allow himself to get close to you
If you spot any of these signs or something else that leads you to believe he’s just leading you on, it’s time to call him out!
Related – Here are 15 signs a guy is leading you on!
2. Confront Him when He’s Doing Things to Lead You On
If you’ve picked up on the fact that he’s leading you on, it’s time to stop doubting yourself or believing his excuses and confront him about it.
This can be a really difficult conversation to have, but it’s so worth it.
When you confront him, be calm and assertive.
Don’t act like you’re angry or attacking him, but don’t let him walk all over you either.
Let him know that you’re not going to put up with him leading you on and that you know what he’s doing.
If you like him, tell him that. Ask him where you stand and explain you’d rather be let down than strung along.
3. See if There Is Anything You’re Doing to Enable Him to Lead You On
Before you confront him or try to change anything, it’s important that you take a step back and see if there is anything you might be doing to enable him to lead you on.
I’m not suggesting for one minute that it’s your fault, not at all.
What I’m saying is that there could be a possibility that he’s leading you on because he knows you’ll always be there or that you’re okay with the way things are.
4. Talk to Friends for Support and Validation
If you’re feeling lost or like you’re the only one going through this, it can be really helpful to talk to friends for support and validation.
Your friends will be able to see the situation from the outside and can give you some unbiased opinions and advice.
Being led on is often like a form of gaslighting as the guy will deny he’s doing it and try to make you feel like you’re crazy for thinking that.
This is why it can be so helpful to talk to your friends, as they can help ground you and make you feel more confident about what’s happening.
5. Set Healthy Boundaries with Him to Protect Yourself
If you want to continue speaking to this guy or seeing him, it’s so important that you set healthy boundaries with him in order to protect yourself.
These boundaries will help you assert yourself more and make it clear that you’re not going to tolerate being led on.
Some examples of healthy boundaries you could set are:
- I’m not going to tolerate being lied to
- I’m not going to put up with being treated like this
- I’m not going to be available all the time
- I’m not going to put up with being strung along
6. Accept that You Might Not Be Able to Change Him
It’s important to accept that you might not be able to change him and that if he’s choosing to lead you on, that’s his decision.
You can’t force someone to change and you can’t make them want to commit to you if they don’t want to.
I understand that you might really like this guy and desperately want him to feel the same, but that’s likely the reason why he’s leading you on and behaving like he is.
If he doesn’t change in a hurry after confronting him, he’s probably not going to.
7. Realize that It’s His Insecurities and Not Your Fault
It’s important to know that if a guy is leading you on, it’s likely because of his own insecurities and not because of anything you’ve done.
I know it can be easy to think that you might be doing something wrong or that you’re not good enough for him, but that’s usually not the case.
If he’s leading you on, it’s more likely because he’s insecure and doesn’t feel like he can commit to you or be in a relationship, or it just makes him feel good to have you chasing him.
8. Stop Chasing Him
One of the best things you can do if a guy is leading you on is to stop chasing him and give yourself (and him) some space.
I know it’s so much easier said than done, but if you want him to respect you and see that you’re not going to put up with his behavior, you need to stop chasing him.
This doesn’t mean that you should stop talking to him completely or give up on him, but it does mean that you need to back away when he’s backing away.
If he misses you or values you as a friend and a person, he’ll be the one that reaches out to you first.
9. Work on Your Self-Esteem
If you’re consistently being led on, it can be a good idea to take a step back and look at your own self-esteem.
Do you think that you might be putting up with this kind of behavior because you don’t think you deserve any better?
It’s so important to love and respect yourself first and foremost, and to know that you deserve to be treated well.
If your self-esteem is low, it can be easy to fall into a pattern of being led on and not demanding more from the people you’re interested in or dating.
10. Most Importantly, Learn and Grow from This Experience
No matter what happens with this guy, it’s important to learn from this experience and use it to grow as a person.
It can be easy to dwell on what went wrong or beat yourself up for being led on, but it’s so much more productive to focus on the lessons you can learn from this.
Maybe you’ll learn that you need to be more careful about who you trust or that you need to set better boundaries in your relationships.
Whatever it is, make sure that you’re using this experience as a learning opportunity so that you can grow as a person and avoid being put in a similar position in the future.
Image credits – depositphotos.com/stock-photo-romantic-couple-with-gift-in
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.