It’s different, and sometimes difficult dating a police officer – and something a lot of people ask is; are police officers controlling in relationships?
This is a hotly debated topic within the police-partner community.
Of course, there are examples on both ends of the spectrum and plenty in between.
The bottom line is if someone is controlling, it’s more to do with their personality than it is their career.
There are some nuances to dating a police officer, however, as I will explain:
Are Police Officers Controlling in Relationships?
No, police officers are not automatically controlling in relationships. If they are controlling, it’s more to do with who they are deep down, not due to their job as a police officer.
There are some instances where the lines can get blurred though, and often it’s due to their training making them more assertive.
Police officers are often very independent and capable people, which can be attractive in a partner.
However, this independence and capability can sometimes manifest as control.
For example, police officers are used to being in charge and giving orders.
This can sometimes carry over into their personal relationships, causing them to be controlling.
However, this is not always the case.
It really depends on the person and their personality.
Some police officers are very easygoing and relaxed, and as a result of having a high-stress job where everything and everyone needs to be in order, they’ll be the opposite at home!
What’s It Like Dating a Police Officer?
Well, it’s going to be different for everyone.
But that said, some of the things that partners of police officers commonly complain about are:
- Their job being the center of attention and working long hours
- Not being able to relax when they’re off duty due to the stress and anxiety of being a police officer
- Feeling like they have to walk on eggshells if their partner has had a bad day
- Having their partner always expect or see the worst in people due to what they see and deal with day-to-day
- The worry of their partner being seriously hurt in the line of duty
All of these things can make dating a police officer very difficult.
If you’re in a relationship with a police officer, it’s important to communicate openly with them about how you feel and be understanding of the pressures of their job.
It’s also important to set boundaries.
For example, agree on what topics are off-limits to discuss when they’re off duty, such as certain aspects of their work.
What to Do if Your Partner Is Controlling
If your partner is controlling, the best thing you can do first is talk to them about it.
You need to try to understand why they’re behaving this way and see if there’s anything you can do to help ease their anxiety or stress.
Controlling behaviors are often masked as the person trying to be helpful and acting – or thinking – like they’re doing what’s best for you.
But being controlled or coerced is a toxic behavior and it’s never acceptable.
It’s important to set boundaries with your partner, be that a law enforcement officer or otherwise, and make it clear what is and isn’t acceptable behavior.
If you’re finding it difficult to communicate with your partner or you’re feeling unsafe, it’s important to reach out for help.
There are many resources available to both police officers and their partners, so don’t hesitate to seek out help if you’re in a difficult situation.
Putting a stop to controlling behavior is something that you absolutely have to do as soon as possible in a relationship or it only gets worse and harder to stop.
Benefits of Dating a Police Officer
It’s worth pointing out that there are potentially some awesome benefits of dating a police officer.
- They’re often very protective and will go out of their way to make sure you’re safe
- They have a great sense of humor and can make you laugh even in the darkest of times
- They’re usually very honest and trustworthy people
- They know how to handle difficult situations and remain calm under pressure
- They have a strong work ethic and are often very goal-oriented
- They have a detailed understanding of the law, you never know what that’ll come in handy!
So, while there are some challenges that come with dating a police officer, there are also some great benefits.
Remember, it really depends on the person and the relationship. You can’t assume someone will act as they do at work while they’re at home.
Image credits – Photo by Zach Lisko on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.