It’s not fun clashing with parents. Maybe you have an overbearing mom, there is a clash of personalities, or some other issues. You’re right to figure out why you get annoyed with your mom so easily so you can build a stronger relationship.
Family is the single most important influence in our lives as we grow up. As we get older and see things differently, the dynamic changes, but it’s still important we try to get along.
The saying ‘blood is thicker than water’ is a bit of a cliche, but it’s true.
The bonds, relationships, and loyalties we can build with our moms, parents, and other family members are the most important and influential relationships we can build.
If you’re constantly getting annoyed with your mom and it’s frustrating you (and your mom, I’m sure) here are some of the likely reasons and how you can stop getting so easily annoyed:
4 Reasons Why You Get Annoyed With Your Mom So Easily
You Don’t Like Being Told What To Do
It’s not just kids or teenagers going through a ‘phase’ that don’t like being told what to do, anyone of any age can find it difficult to be told what to do.
It’s our mom’s job to tell us what to do – so this is something that can cause issues for a lot of people.
Whether you think your mom has your best interests at heart or not, if you don’t want to be told what to do you’re going to get annoyed with your mom.
I’ve read accounts from psychologists that say most people have a small ‘inner rebel’, which is essentially our defense mechanism when we feel like we’re being forced to do something we don’t want to do.
As crazy as this might sound when talking about your mom asking you to do something simple like tidying your room, or being home at a certain time, it can evoke this reaction.
Does that sound about right?
It’s not an excuse, mind you. It’s a possible explanation.
There Is a Genuine Clash of Personalities
It’s very possible that you and your mom’s personalities are clashing and you’re finding it difficult to get along.
This clash of personalities will change as you grow up. If you’re still young enough to be under your mom’s care, then it’s likely you feel like you’re not being given enough space.
We go through a series of changes as we grow up and start to discover who we are, and it’s not uncommon not to see eye-to-eye with our moms.
When we’re adults and our personalities have matured, you may still see things very different from your mom.
It’s important to remember that no matter how similar you are to your mom, you’re a different person with your own thoughts, experiences, and feelings.
It’s OK to have a very different personality. But you should make the effort not to clash with your mom – even if it really is her being the more difficult party.
Two people with very different personalities can get along perfectly fine. And it’s certainly worth the effort when it’s a family member.
You need to agree not to get into conversations about things you disagree on, find a way to agree to disagree on certain issues and focus on being patient and respectful.
There Are Communication Issues
Open and honest communication is the backbone of any successful relationship. This may mean professional working relationships, friends, and most important, family relationships.
The better you facilitate good communication with your mum, the less annoyed and frustrated you’re going to get with her – regardless of whether you agree with her or not.
This is because good communication enables you to see things from her perspective, and you’ll get a better understanding of why you’re getting annoyed with her.
The knock-on effect is that you’re able to build bridges and form a stronger relationship with your mom and argue or get annoyed less.
Establishing better communication takes time and requires effort from both parties. But it’s absolutely something you can do if you’re willing to talk openly to your mother about it.
You’re Holding on To Negative Memories
Has something happened in the past that has fractured the relationship between you and your mother?
It could be something fairly subtle, or maybe you’ve had a huge argument or some kind of incident that has left you traumatized.
Either way, if you’re holding a grudge against your mum, that pent-up frustration is going to mean that you get easily annoyed with your mum on a regular basis.
Unless you talk it out with her and ‘bury the hatchet’. I can’t tell you what that conversation is going to look like, or what’s going to happen without knowing the specifics of your situation.
But what I can tell you, is that unless you confront whatever issues you have with your mum in an open and honest way, you’re probably never going to be any less annoyed with her.
How To Stop Getting Annoyed With Your Mom?
The answer to this question is largely going to come down to the reason behind why you get so easily annoyed with your mom.
If you’re able to identify the root cause, you will almost certainly be able to resolve the issues by talking openly to your mum about the problem.
Communication really is the driving force behind strong family relationships. Sure, I’ll admit that it’s hard to strengthen the bond with some people, but you have to try.
Most importantly, don’t feel bad about getting so annoyed with your mom, and don’t blame yourself.
You’re doing the right thing looking into the reasons behind your actions, and if you’re willing to try and work on your relationship with your mom you obviously care a lot about her.
Even if she is not willing to talk about your relationship and work on it, you can work on yourself by practicing being more patient and removing yourself from frustrating situations.
Meditation and mindfulness are also great ways to work on yourself so that external things do not annoy you so much.
You can read more about meditation and some of my personal experiences in the meditation category of the blog here.
I wish you good luck – and remember, as long as you’re willing to work on the relationship with your mom and be open-minded and understanding, it will almost certainly work out.
Image credits – Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future.